The Sentencing

by:	Anon Allsop

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Rating: R	Add Review	Added: 05/05/2007
Complete: yes
Synopsis:	Anderson Kemplar was brought before the Guardian's to be punished for using his magical powers for his own personal gain. The Guardian's judgment would deposit Anderson into the body of a young rural housewife, living with her father-in-law and young son on a farm during the mid 1940's. His only reprieve is that once he learns, faith, trust and love...his sentence will end, and he may return to his own life. This is Anon Allsop's 60th story written for Fictionmania!
Categories:	Body Swap  Crime Punishment  Magical Transformations  Mind Transfer, Mind Possesion
Keywords:	Wedding Dress or Married

The idea for this story came from a short, inspirational email that was shared with me a few years ago. I thought the message behind it, was quite lovely and wanted to somehow turn it into a story to share with everyone. It took almost two years for a story to develop where I could use it in a way to honor the beauty it was written in. If I knew of the original author, I would like to include them...but as with much that is passed around in cyberspace, they are unknown. All I can do is say, thank you for the inspiration...I only hope my 60th story on Fictionmania does justice to your beautiful, and uplifting message.



The Sentencing By Anon Allsop

The officer jerked me forward and pushed me into a lone chair in the middle of the darkened chamber, above me sat the 6 members that made up the Guardian Court. The center figure leaned forward until only his chin was in the dim light. "Anderson Kemplar, how do you plead?"

"What the hell?" I spat, "why am I trussed up here, like some Thanksgiving turkey?"

"You are being detained," he replied, showing no dynamic in his voice.

"For what?" I shouted, my voice echoing loudly.

"Silence!" his voice boomed, sounding much like a clap of thunder. "The time for questioning is over!"

"Screw you!" I hissed. "You've got nothing that you can hold me on."

"We don't intend to hold you...we intend on rehabilitating you," came the quick response.

"You have spent so much of your life crawling upon the back of your fellow man, taking everything and giving back absolutely nothing. Tell me boy, what do you know of faith, trust or love?" The voice came from all around me, yet somehow I knew which of the Guardian's were speaking.

I sneered, "Those are for the weak. I have no use for any of them!"

Suddenly, another of the judges leaned forward. "And that is why you are here," she scolded.

The first judge again leaned into the light, where only his mouth was seen. "You are sentenced to begin life anew. Only, you won't have the privileges or magic as you once possessed. Your life will be much simpler, your struggles will be real, and the time will be of our choosing!"

"Like hell I will! You can't make me do anything I don't want to do...we have laws against that!"

"True," the fourth judge spoke as he leaned into the light, "and it seems that you have ignored each and every one of them!"

"I won't go. You can't make me!" I hissed.

Another judge leaned closer to the light; I could only see the outline of his head as she spoke. "Your sentence is to be carried out immediately. Our judgment will be final!"

"Some day you may look back on this hour as the beginning of a new life, a transformation of your very soul perhaps..." The voice paused then a shadow leaned forward until I could just see his scowling mouth. "...However, I doubt it!"

"Yeah, and screw you!" I shouted loudly, my voice echoing within the empty chamber.

The very first judge smiled and leaned into the light, "Since you are so interested in screwing others, and have some strange likeness to throwing the word around, you have helped us find the perfect punishment for you."

Another leaned forward, as yet this one had not spoken. "Yes. In that form you will remain until you can show us that you can do all three. Trust, Love and have Faith! Now be gone and leave our sight, accept your fate like a man."

*** 1 ***

I raised my head and rubbed at my temples, somewhere behind me a radio played ancient music that was from the mid twentieth century. The room was stifling hot, a fan sat on a chair and oscillated back and forth, pushing the air before it in a futile attempt to cool the room.

As I was attempting to take all of this in, a hand suddenly shot out and held out two white pills. "Here take these, they should help that headache of yours."

In shock, I shifted away from the elderly man, my movement almost causing him to spill the glass of water in his other hand.

"It's this damn heat, I swear," he said as he ran a red kerchief across his forehead, wiping the perspiration away. "Spooked you...didn't I?" he finally said with a laugh. "Did you doze off?"

"I...I don't think so," I stammered. I could feel my heart racing within my chest. He still stood beside me and held the pills in one hand and the glass in the other.

"You going to take these, or am I supposed to be your pill caddy for the duration of my life?" I hesitantly reached out and took the pills from him and tossed them into the back of my mouth. He held the drink higher and moved it closer to my hand, I took it and drank down the cool liquid.

He took the glass from me and started walking away. He paused momentarily at a photo on the wall of a young man in a uniform. "Don't need to worry boy, I'll see to her."

"Her who?" I asked, slowly falling in behind him.

He paused and glanced over his shoulder, "Her? Her...you! This damnable heat must be cookin' your brain!"

I quickly looked down, "Oh shit!" I hissed as my eyes took in my feminine form. "They made me a girl!"

The elderly man laughed, "I guess so...well, at least enough of one to have kept my Blaine, interested in you!" He rounded the corner and out of my view snickering to himself.

I could just make out my reflection in the glass of the picture, "Damn, they made me into a freaking girl!" I groused softly to myself.

I leaned against the archway that separated the two rooms, my head resting upon my forearm, light brown hair spilling down into view. I glanced back behind me quickly, through another archway I could just make out a sink. I stumbled into the bathroom and pressed the little button at the bottom of the light mounted on the wall.

"Where the hell did they put me?" I wondered aloud as I closed the door behind me, a full-length mirror with beveled glass was mounted to the back of the thick door. I was stunned by the reflection I cast back in the mirror, I appeared to be no older than perhaps twenty-three. This girl they had trapped me into was attractive with large blue eyes and full deep red lips.

My eyes traveled down, she wasn't huge in the bust area but some would classify her as pleasantly endowed. She had a tapered waist with a very well put together figure. Her arms were slender with deep red polish adorning her oval fingernails. Her hair was set in a practical style, though something you might have seen during the 1940's. My eyes were drawn toward my ears, where large blue earrings weighted down each of this reflection's lovely lobes.

The hot breeze shifted the flimsy curtain behind me and I could see that the window was open. I moved closer to it, momentarily forgetting my inspection. Looking through the rusty screen was like watching an ancient black and white film right out of the late 30's or early 40's...only for me, it was in color. Not far away, beside a barn stood an antique Farmall tractor, behind it was hooked up a strange looking apparatus that resembled a great fork with curved tines.

In a lot beyond it was parked a large car. Great round headlights sat upon each fender. An old white Shepard dog lazily licked the water that was held suspended from the well pump's spigot. "Bear...No!" I heard a young voice sharply say.

I craned my neck until I could almost make out the voice's owner through the rusty screen. Slowly a young boy approached the dog, and with all the strength he could muster, pulled him away from the spigot by his collar. The youth could have been no older than four or five.

"Grandpa says you gotta get your drinks from the creek, just like all the other livestock. Come on, I'll walk you down there." He and the dog crossed more into my view and headed down the dusty lane toward a very dry and sun scorched pasture.

The boy looked much like the image of the man in the picture, yet there were subtle differences that I couldn't place my finger upon. I had no choice to assume that the man I had met earlier was his grandfather, but the differences in the boy's appearance became clearer as I turned to face the mirror.

I could see traces of me as well in the boy's features, "I must be related..." I surmised as I began reaching for the door. As my left hand fell onto the porcelain knob, I noticed the golden band adorning my ring finger.

"Oh damn..." I sighed, "I must be the little boy's mother."

It was bad enough to know that the Guardians had transformed me into a woman and dropped me somewhere during the late 1930's or 1940's, but for them to saddle me with marriage and a child was almost too much. I fell against the tiny sink, which was attached at the back, but the front rested upon long steel legs. Turning back toward the vanity I let the water trickle in my hands and splashed some against my flushed cheeks.

My knees felt close to buckling. To prevent falling, I pushed the lid down on the stool and sat until I could gather my bearings. After several long seconds, I heard a soft knock against the bathroom door.

"Do you know where Ben is? I asked him to do a chore for me and when I went to check on him...he was gone."

My mind worked feverously, "He took...the dog...down to the creek for a drink of water." I only hoped that was the boy's name, and it was a gamble.

"All right...if you see him back up here, just tell the boy I'm looking for him." I heard him shuffle off and not long after, I heard the screen bang closed.

My immediate situation swallowed me whole, as I just realized the voice I had been using wasn't even my own. "Oh...God!" I gasped; the soft feminine voice coming to my ears was much too breathy. What made the ordeal I found myself in almost unimaginable was that unless I really thought about it, the voice came as natural from me as my own breath. "How could I have not noticed?" I wondered, panic filtering in, making breathing even more difficult in the heat.

I wiped my perspiration from my face, fingers trembling along my upper lip. I began to concentrate harder, where other strangeness' inserted itself. I felt myself growing lightheaded, for the first time I realized that my penis was no longer there, replaced by the female equivalent. "Dear God..." I cried as I hesitantly pushed my hand along the front of my lap. "It's gone!" My mind whirled as I could feel the breasts I now had, pressing into the soft cups of a bra. I no longer could help the tears as they burst forth from my eyes. "I've been doomed...." I fell forward, and bawled into the hand towel.

After several minutes of desperate crying, I pushed myself up and leaned on the sink. Once again I splashed water onto my face, the small droplets clung to my long eyelashes as I returned my gaze into the mirror. Once again the crying jag begun, I staggered against the door and held myself from falling. "Get hold of yourself man..." I whispered softly, which only caused me to start up crying again as I realized how much I was the opposite of my comment.

I sobbed until I was able to steel myself, resigning my fate to what was due me. They had made me in the image of a woman; of course I'd have the intimate parts of one! I raised my head, straightened my shoulders and...cried once again as I saw how pronounced my breasts seemed to be reflecting back in the mirror. Finally able to fight against the sobbing of the woman's body I was captive to, I straightened up once again and clenched my jaw defiantly.

"I'll not give in to this...those bastards can't win!" I glanced toward the window; outside I could hear the old man talking to the child...my anger softened. It sounded so vulgar for the words to escape my lips. "If I've got to try to portray this...this woman... I've got to try my best to get back my body as soon as I can...and to do that, I have to play along." I sighed, finally understanding that, like it or not, I would have to live like this woman. Only my hope, was that it wouldn't be for too long of a duration.

I stood and dried my face, re-hung the towel and opened the door. With the house momentarily empty, I quickly examined the lower floor. There were two bedrooms downstairs; one I assumed was the uniformed man in the photo and mine...the other must belong to the elderly man. On a desk near the end of his bed was an 8x10 photo of a woman, I assumed that this was, or had been his wife. She and the man in the uniform had a very similar smile, yet the older man and the image in the uniform could be none other than father and son. With the woman in the portrait being...my mother-in law.

In the other rooms that I found downstairs was the living room with a huge ornate Zenith radio possessing a great face and dial, beneath the large circular dial were two smaller knobs.

I peered through a shade in the living room, lowered to prevent the hot afternoon sun from warming the interior of the house yet high enough to allow air from outside, to seep into the open window. What I saw appeared to be a working farm.

Cows lowed behind a white painted fence that ran parallel to the driveway. From another open window out of the direct sunlight I could see beyond, a gravel road, withered corn not much taller than I, as yet to tassel.

It didn't take much of a brain to figure that I was dropped into the life of a farm wife...smack into the middle of a dry spell. "But when?" I whispered as I folded my arms and turned toward the kitchen, once again pausing at the image of the man in uniform. As I stood quietly pulling a drifting lock of my light brown hair aside and tucking it once again behind my ear, I heard a noise just outside the kitchen door.

I strolled on through the kitchen and mildly took in what I saw as I passed. A long table with great elephant feet stood in the center, several wooden chairs lined the sides with one on each end. Not far away stood an old rounded refrigerator, the silver Kelvinator logo sparkled on its face.

Huge counters spanned along each side of a white sink, the backsplash made of the same material, almost as if it were created from the same mold. A window was directly above the sink; just outside I could make out the sparkling roof of an old box style sedan. At the end of the counter stood a white stove, it's black burners suggesting years of use.

Once again I heard a strange tinkling outside, I turned my head back to the kitchen door. As I began heading toward the doorway, I spied a calendar on the wall, "August, 1944...okay, that would explain the era and the heat." Above the calendar was a little blue speckled clock in the shape of a teapot, "11:35...in the morning."

I pushed the door open slightly; the heat blasted my face as it entered the sun. Just off the porch a grey tabby cat lay in the shady grass beneath a huge flowerpot, overflowing with gigantic marigold flowers. The tinkling I heard was of a tiny group of tubes, suspended upon silvery strings. They danced in the overly warm summer breeze, each tube was of a different length and as they bumped against each other a strange and wonderful music emitted. I felt myself smile as I returned back inside the much cooler house.

Just inside of the kitchen, behind the outside door, was hidden another door. Thinking it might be nothing more than a pantry...I opened it. A step down led to a landing; from there I could see a stairway leading to a basement. Dusty boots lined the edge of the landing, obviously not needed due to the lack of rain. Nothing seemed of importance to me down there so I slowly pulled the door closed and returned to the kitchen.

I folded my arms and looked onto my new domain, the Guardian's had thrown me here to learn a lesson. My fate was to be a female in a household of males. I looked down, my folded arms just below my breasts. The simply feminine way I was standing created in me such an uneasy feeling that I quickly dropped my arms to my side and placed my hands on my hips.

That position didn't last long either as it only emphasized how wide my jutting hips had become, obviously molded that way by, and for childbearing. I frowned and continued out of the kitchen and back through the little hallway, turning right, I found myself once again facing the bathroom.

To my immediate right a door was ajar; through the opening I could see a stairs leading up to the second floor. I slowly pushed the door open and climbed the steps upward. Once at the top of the stairs, a tall banister wound around the stairs, directly in front was another open window. Warm summer breezes filtered through the screen. A lazy fly drunkenly walked upon the windowsill.

The area was large and open; a second door was visible at the end of the room. I walked down the side of the room, the banister upon my left. A single bed was placed behind the banister, the light covers in disarray. A strange wave of tidiness washed over me ad I found myself straightening the single, thin cover. Once done, I slowly turned and headed toward the open doorway.

The room beyond was painted a pale yellow, a small dresser stood near another open window directly opposite the one in the other room. A white crib stood off to one side, its mobile swayed in the hot breeze that wafted through the window. Neatly folded cloth diapers were stacked on a shelf; pins filled a glass jar on a table. It was obvious that this was a nursery.

I moved closer to the crib, it was empty; a little quilt was folded neatly in place. I ran my fingers along the rail, reaching out; I touched the mobile sending it swinging from my caress. "Where was the child that had occupied the crib? Could it have belonged to the boy and he just outgrew it?" I wondered.

I moved to the dresser and opened a drawer; tiny socks of various colors were paired and folded. Several had crocheted lace sewn to the edging, not something that you would think of a boy wearing. Behind me a board on the wood flooring squeaked.

"I'm surprised to see you up here...It's been a long time."

My heart jumped, I let out a shriek and wheeled around, startled beyond measure. Thoroughly shocked to my core, I stood panting and clutching my chest, still holding the lacy sock in my hand. "I..I'm..." I stammered, trying to rein back my frightened and overtly feminine response to being startled.

The old man moved further into the room, "It's good to see you in here, it means you've finally accepted...it."

"It?" I asked as I returned the little sock to the drawer where I found it.

"Ashley...the baby's death." He inhaled deeply and caressed the end of the crib. "It's never easy, hell, Agnes and I lost two before we had Blaine."

My mind grew silent, how sad for this woman that I've become to be dealt such a rough hand. From what I could glean from the little time I've been here, she had a son, lost a daughter and I wasn't exactly sure about her husband's whereabouts, other than he was somewhere in the military. Mulling her plight pushed tears into my eyes, the room blurred as I looked through them.

"Hey...hey, now Nicole...it'll be okay," he comforted as he embraced me, "You're young, and times will be better."

I nodded, unsure on how I should respond as he stroked my long hair in a fatherly fashion, and spoke softly, his voice full of emotion. "Tell you what, I'll go downstairs and start on lunch...you collect yourself and come down when you're ready."

A sob broke free from my throat; I quickly covered my mouth with my hand. "Where did that come from?" I wondered, my mind continued to race. "Is this woman's life starting to invade my own? Why would I care that she lost her second child somehow?"

The old man gave my shoulder a gentle squeeze, and then left me alone. As he was walking away, he pulled his kerchief from his back pocked and wiped the tears from his eyes. "Was this the type of love the Guardians spoke of?" I wondered, "Would I ever be able to feel it, without it being forced upon me?"

As he disappeared from view, a great wave of pent up emotion washed over me. I found myself crying uncontrollably, which left me sinking down into a heap on the floor. "What's the matter with me?" My perplexed mind wondered. "It was as if everything this woman was feeling, suddenly rose to the surface in me."

After several minutes, the seemingly endless tears began to subside and I was able to finally stand. Finding a lace kerchief in my dress pocket, I dried my face and began to walk back toward the stairs. I left that room, but it seemed as though I had left something behind; something that I felt I would never really understand.

Slowly I climbed down, each step returning me into a reality that was as alien as the face of the moon. The closer to the bottom I neared, the better I could hear the conversation in the kitchen.

"She's still real tore up about losing Ashley...best advice I could give you is not to badger her with questions."

"Okay, Grandpa." A moment of silence later, then the little boy asked another question, "Is Ashley in heaven?"

"Sure she is..." the older man responded.

"Why did she die? I was sick too, but nothing happened to me!"

I heard a heavy sigh, "That's the strange way about death, sometimes it'll get you...sometimes not."

His grandpa paused for several seconds, then his voice tightened slightly with emotion. "Ben, take yourself as an example, the polio you had contracted, hardly affected you other than making you sick. When Ashley got it...I guess since she was so young, her body couldn't handle the virus and...and uh...the angels came and took her away to heaven."

"Oh," came the soft reply.

I swallowed hard, hearing their conversation endeared my heart to this small family. Choking back tears, I turned and headed into what I assumed was my bedroom to hide and cry, as I was about to cross the room's threshold, I heard him ask another innocent question.

"Is Daddy with Ashley in heaven?"

"No Ben...he's in Germany, fighting along with our other soldiers. But that means we have to pray harder for him...it isn't easy being so far away from those you love."

"Will we see Daddy again?"

"God willing..."

I felt my throat tighten; again tears begin to well in my eyes. I quickly entered and closed the door gently behind me, crossed the room and sat at the vanity and bawled until the tears left my system. This poor family had been through so much, why couldn't life just leave them alone and let them be?

When I felt I could cry no more I looked at myself in the mirror, my eyes were red and swollen. I removed he smeared makeup with cold cream knowing I had to go into the kitchen sooner or later and I've never been one to hide, I reached out and picked up a tube of mascara, hesitantly I reapplied the makeup to my eyes.

I realized that what I had done, probably wasn't as good as the original host of this body had been able to do, I was pleased enough in its outcome. I sought out and found the tube of lipstick that I...she must have used this morning and lightly reapplied the sticky substance to my lips. My only thought as I pressed my lips against a paper to remove the excess color, was that the taste was something I didn't think I could ever become used to.

I stood up and rechecked my face in the mirror, finally satisfied that I didn't look so much like a blubbering female, I headed out the door.



** 2 **

As I walked toward the kitchen, my father-in-law was telling the boy, "...and if you help me finish up that chore, I'll take you and your mother down to see a picture show!"

"Can we get popcorn? I like popcorn!"

"Well, I don't see why not? If we can get it done early enough, I'll even spring for some ice cream too!"

"Oh boy!" he squealed as he began stuffing his face with his sandwich.

"Small bites, Benny." The words sprang from my lips as I entered the kitchen. I sat opposite my father-in-law and sat down, he raised himself up slightly as I took my seat.

"I'd have had him wait if I knew you'd be along so directly." He studied my face; surely he could tell I had been crying even more.

"That's okay," I replied softly as I sat down. I folded my hands in my lap and stared at the sandwich he had prepared for me, waiting as if I were supposed to be doing something.

"Uh, Benny boy...don't you think we forgot something?" He reached across and pulled the sandwich from the boy's hand and placed it back on the plate.

"Oh shoot." He closed his eyes and folded his hands. "God...help me be a better boy. If you don't have the time to do that...it's okay, I'm enjoying myself pretty much as I am."

I felt the words suddenly rise into my throat, even before I could stop myself I scolded him. "Benny!" I gasped in shock. "Is that the way we taught you to pray at the supper table?"

He laid his sandwich back down and sighed. "God is great. God is good. Let us thank him for our food."

In unison, we all said, "Amen."

"That's better," I replied, glaring accusingly at his grandfather who was trying his best to keep from laughing.

I felt a strange pang of unfamiliarity, mostly because I had never really prayed at a meal before...not to mention, the way the scolding of the child came from my own mouth, as if I had always responded maternally in this way to this boy. Coupled with that, the old man was still smiling at Benny and deep down, I was surprised at the strange motherly way it had played out...including the glare I had given his grandpa. To a casual observer on that scene, I would have assumed, that I truly was the mother and was none too please with how my son's own grandfather encouraged the child's behavior.

The whole conversation unnerved me and made me feel ill. To push the alien thoughts from my mind, I hurriedly entered my way into their previous conversation in an attempt of having to ponder upon this odd scenario any longer.

"What movie did you want to see? I asked the elderly man sitting opposite me.

"Movie...oh, yeah. There's a western with Tex Ritter that I'd like to see...but I know how you feel about Westerns."

I fondly remember watching those old pictures on the disks back in my time...but this might be different, I could actually see one when it was new!

"Oh...that's okay," I began, actually excited as the boy to see a movie. "What is its name?"

"No...No, I won't hear of it. The boy and I dragged you to see the last Tex Ritter picture and I told you then that we'd see whatever you wanted." He looked down at the little boy still packing his sandwich into his mouth. "The last time you said it'd be a comedy and only one is playing...we'll see that one. I can go with the boy next week to see Oklahoma Raiders."

"Are comedy's funny? Do I like them?"

"Yes Benny, they're funny, and yes you like them. Now slow down and quit packing your food into your mouth like a chipmunk." I patted his tiny hand and pulled the sandwich down, sitting it back onto his plate.

I turned toward my father-in-law. "So what is the movie?"

"Mowrfff?"

Glancing toward my son, "Manners?" He sheepishly looked down and picked up his glass of milk.

"It's called the Canterville Ghost. It has Charles Laughton and Robert Young in it and a fairly new actress named Margaret O'Brian."

The movie sounded familiar to me, I vaguely remembered reading a story with the same title. "Is that based on a short story by Oscar Wilde?"

He looked at me with a blank expression, "I have no idea...but I heard it's pretty funny."

He reached across and jostled the boy's hair, "I got me two dollars this morning and it's burning a hole in my pocket!"

"Wow...gee two whole dollars?" Ben looked up, wiping the milk mustache from his mouth with his sleeve.

He smiled and gave me a quick fatherly wink, "The widow Hargrove paid me to stand her outhouse back up...seems it fell over during the night."

"Was it windy last night?" I asked, absentmindedly wondering what it would have been like to be inside when it tipped over.

"I think this wind was caused by two brothers down the road..," he said with a laugh. "I'll be talking to their father sometime later this week about it."

"Outhouse tipping?" I asked, to which his response was to point toward me and give a nod.

It seemed that, within ten minutes of my sitting down at the table, Ben had finished eating and downed the last of his milk. The door soon followed, slamming behind him as he headed outside was the exclamation point to his exit.

"Sure Benny boy, you may be excused!" the old man called out after his grandson. I smiled and took another small bite of my sandwich. "He gets that from his father, you know."

I smiled as there was a shadow falling across the tabletop; the boy was back at the door. "May I be excused from the table?"

"Yes you may Benny," I replied, "But next time, it would be better to ask before you actually leave!"

"Sorry, Mom." He leaned toward the screen and cupped his hands around his eyes so he could see inside. "You coming Grandpa? We still got that chore to do!"

The old man placed his napkin on the table, "Nicole, may I be excused?"

"Sure, Grandpa," I replied, not really knowing what his name was or if I called him Dad.

He gave me a sideways glance and raised an eyebrow, "Now the boy can call me Grandpa...but you don't have to rub it in. I feel old enough as it is, John or Dad will be just fine, thank you!"

I laughed aloud and nodded as he headed toward the door, "I guess while you men are taking care of that little chore of yours, I'll see to cleaning up in here."

As I cleared the table, I began to fill the sink with warm, soapy water for dish washing. I stood at the sink and began scrubbing at the surface of the dirty dishes while stared out the little window in front of me. I could see John and Ben carrying buckets of water out to several goats that were penned up near the barn. If I was quiet enough, I could hear John complaining about the dog licking the water that dripped from the pump again. I smiled at this rural setting with its seemingly mundane lifestyle.

I pushed a dishrag into a cup causing water to be squirted out and toward my dress, backing away rather quickly, I did my best to try and avoid the most of it. Hanging on the wall, not far from where I was standing, was an apron. Without much thought, I quickly tied it on.

I smoothed out the front and went back to my own chore, all the while watching my son and father-in-law working together outside. My idle studying of them veiled what was actually going on inside my head though, as thoughts of who I've become drifted slowly into mind.

"Who was this woman my body possessed? Where did she go when I came here? How did the Guardian's choose this body? Is she now inhabiting my former self?" Still I wondered, "How do I seem to know what to do, even though I have never done something like this before?"

I looked down at myself in the dress and wondered just why I didn't feel like exploring my body, as I would have assumed a man suddenly transformed into a woman would do! It was true; I had absolutely no desire to examine myself, than I might have at getting ready to do some grocery shopping. When I looked at myself, there was no arousal...nothing at all.

I knew back when I was in my former body that I had been pushing the envelope, using my powers for personal gain. I think the last straw was when I used my magic to enact revenge on a total stranger. For that...for everything, I was stripped of my abilities and deposited here. I again looked down, my bosom gently pushing the top of my dress out, more than likely, making it the focal point to many wavering eyes. Yet, no arousal in seeing this woman I've become...nothing. It was as though I felt as I was raised this way, feeling nothing different. Normalcy was first and foremost, changing from a man to this woman, was as if changing from a blue blouse to a green.

I shook my head, even in mundane thought, I was still thinking like a woman. Why would the word "blouse" come into my mind before something like "shirt"? I sighed at the complexity of this change to my body. Part of me felt slightly cheated, I wanted to feel the turmoil of the transformation. Feeling that erotic surge, of being suddenly dropped into a beautiful feminine body. Yet, I felt nothing more than if I had been born this way. "Why?" I sighed.

Then too was my name, not the former name of myself, but rather the name of Nicole. It rolled from my tongue as if it were the only one I had ever had. For the first thirty years of my life, Anderson Kemplar was the only name attached to my being. Now when I think of my former name, it's more like an acquaintance than a name intimately familiar to me. I've found myself answering to Nicole without even a second thought, and then too I've begun thinking of myself as Nicole...on top of constantly referring to myself as female.

I sighed while letting down the water, picked up a dry towel and started wiping dry the dishes of their water. It was bad enough to become a woman, but to suddenly find yourself one and not even the wherewithal to partake in intercourse as one. I sighed, Any other family and I might feel the fear of a man taking me and making me into a true woman, but here...he was away, fighting in Germany, and I was left to mother a young son and her elderly father-in- law...and no sexual release even if I wanted one.



** 3 **

Outside I heard them returning, Dad was speaking to Benny. "...I don't want to see you messing around with the water, not until this drought has busted. We don't need to be wasting any because we'll probably need it ourselves before long. If that dog of yours wants any, he's going to have to stop licking the spigot!" He began up the steps and paused, turning back toward the boy, "If I have to, I'll shut the dang thing off and only turn it on when we need it!"

I turned toward them as they entered, "You all done?"

"Everything's been watered...including the boy." He took his kerchief and wiped the sweat from his forehead. "The boy seems hell-bent on wasting what little water we have in our cistern!" After several seconds of scowling at Benny he sighed and ruffled his grandson's hair, then turned to me. "Are you about done?"

"Just finishing the last of the dishes. I'll put them away and we can go whenever you're ready," I said as I picked the last plate out of the sink and began to dry it.

"Now Nicole, if you'll excuse me, I'll clean myself up and put on something decent." He pushed one suspender off his shoulder as he was leaving the kitchen.

"I think you should be taking his example and getting that dirt washed off...clean clothes would be a real good idea," I replied, making a quick examination of my son. The thought seemed strange to claim this boy as my own, yet, he could be no other and it would seem this was the life I'd been saddled with by the Guardians.

"Aw Mom," he grumbled and headed out of the kitchen as if he were on his way to the gallows.

I smiled, "Don't you...Aw Mom me little one! I'm still the boss around here with your father away!"

As I put the dishes into the cupboard, I couldn't help but reflect on our most recent exchange. It was almost as though I had been in this body forever, in the way I responded to him. It got me to wondering if, when I found the Guardian's blasted faith, love and whatever...would they return me to my old form? "God I hope so!" I said softly.

By the time I had readied myself...my gentlemen were already waiting. Ben was wearing lightweight shorts and a nice button down cotton shirt; his recently cut hair was parted to the side. John also had a short sleeve shirt, however he was also wearing long pants and suspenders with no tie. I had a feeling that with John, this was about as dressed up as he got.

As for myself, I wore a simple blue summer dress that ended just below the knee, and the blue earrings I was wearing when I first arrived into this body. My feet were perched upon stylish black pumps, while a beautiful wide brimmed hat protected my delicate feminine skin from the sun.

"Well, well Nicole!" John said smiling, "It's been quite awhile since I've been seen around the town next to a pretty girl."

"Thank you," I replied, "so, do I need my purse for anything?"

"I've got it covered. Besides, I thought we agreed it'd be my treat?" He gave a wink to Benny and smiled. "My lady, the chariot awaits." Then he motioned to Benny, "Good sir, can you catch the door?"

"Why you talkin' so funny, Grandpa?"

"Just grab the door kid," John said with a laugh. As Benny swung the door open, John led me through like I was a regal princess. Down the steps and toward the drive we headed, finally pausing before our "chariot".

When I had been a man, one of my favorite pastimes was spent in our local transportation museum, drooling over the antique cars. While I still appreciated them since being transported into this body, the luster that I once held for them had dimmed slightly. My mind told me that this was a late twenty's Studebaker...though the woman in me cared little what it was, her only desire was that it got us from point A to point B.

What was left of the old me still admired what I could see, the tan paint still had a shine, the deep black fenders and running boards set off the light color of the car's body. It had four doors, the back two opening in the opposite direction of the front. Somehow the words "suicide doors" popped into my head, but I couldn't actually place why.

"Am I driving?" I asked my escort as Benny opened the back door and vaulted inside from the running board.

John laughed as he herded me toward the passenger side, "Maybe IF and WHEN I show you how."

"It's nothing, I can do it," I replied as he waited for me to seat myself inside. The oldest car had driven was a 2005 Mustang, that particular car had been an automatic...this however should prove to be no problem, especially since my former self was very proficient with shifting manual transmissions as well.

"Next time," he said as he closed the door. Absent mindedly, I reached back over my right shoulder and realized that it was still some residue of my former self searching for a life belt device, there were very few cars, equipped with life saving straps during the 1940's. So to cover, awkwardly looked over my right shoulder and spoke to Benny as he was hanging half in, half out of the window. I reminded him that a good passenger would remain seated and not be sticking his hands out the window.

"Aw, Mom," he grumbled, pulling his hand inside and sitting down on the huge rear seat.

I waited as John walked along the long hood, past the wheel mounted on the fender, then finally made his way to his door. "Just so you know, I CAN drive this car," I said as he scooted behind the large wheel.

"You can't even steer the Farmall, what makes you think I'm going to let you drive my car!" he said with a laugh that made me frown back my response. "Besides, you've already told me that you can't shift the gears."

"I did?" I asked, not really sure what our previous conversations had been prior to me becoming Nicole.

"Of course you did!" He shook his head and pushed the starter button, the big eight cylinder roared to life.

As he drove, I sat quietly fuming for being treated like some helpless female...even though I may resemble one; I hated being treated like one.

As we rolled through the countryside, I took notice of the withered fields as we passed. The beans and corn seemed to be either dead or dying where they stood, great gaping dried cracks, lined between each row.

"Sure is hot..," I said softly, "...and dry!"

"That's for sure," he said, leaving the dusty trail behind us as he guided us onto a paved road. Ahead, was a sign pointing toward the town. "I haven't seen it this dry since when Agnes and I moved out here in the early thirties. That was a hellishly dry period too."

"Grandpa cussed!" came the young voice from the back seat, I glanced back and nodded, agreeing with the tot.

Not really knowing what else to say, I continued with our topic of the weather. "Do you think if it rained, it'd be too late for the crops?"

"Six of one, half dozen of the other..," he said with a sigh. "Lord knows we need the moisture." He stared at the creek as we passed over it. The once wide banks had become nothing more than a trickle of water.

From the look on his face, I could tell he was in deep thought. "That leaky pump of ours is bleeding the cistern dry of water, I think I'll be turning off the water going to the outside pump until after the drought is broken."

"What about our animals?" Benny asked from the backseat.

"I can turn it on long enough to do our chores, but it'll be turned off for the rest of the time...that is, until I can fix that leak."

I glanced back to watch my son; he nodded innocently, and then continued to stare out the window. We drove on for several quiet miles where nothing was said.

I studied my father-in-law as he shifted gears, slowing down, going into a sharp turn. "I can do that..." I mumbled to myself.

He heard me and laughed. I gave him a sideways glance and frowned.

It was so strange to me as we passed other vehicles leaving the sprawling little town, each one either close to the vintage of the one we were in, some even newer. I saw Plymouth's, Chevrolet's and even a couple of trucks...all between the late twenties and some brand new...up to around 1940 or 1941. There was even one model-T driven by an ancient couple which John beeped at, then roared past, only giving a nod to as we motored on into town.

We parked along the street and I opened my door, a passing man tipped his hat at me. The very act, made me feel utterly foolish. He even paused long enough to open my door and offer me his hand, under the circumstances; I was hesitant on what I should do. Eventually, I took it and climbed out, thanked him and waited beside Benny. The man tipped his hat, turned then continued along his way.

Without really noticing, I realized that Benny was holding onto my hand while we waited for his grandpa to come join us on the sidewalk.

John motioned toward the front of the theater, pausing and opening the door for our entry into their grand lobby. "Two adults and one for the boy. We're seeing The Canterville Ghost." John said, purchasing our tickets.

The attendant pushed the tickets through the hole in the bottom of the glass. "Thank you," John said to the fellow behind the glass, as he then directed me toward a second set of theater doors.

Together we entered the lobby, as we did, I have to admit that I felt excited to be in a place that during my time I could only have dreamed being in. Bright colorful lights strobed gleefully around each coming attraction. There was a hint of popcorn smell in the air.

Straight to the candy counter we headed, Benny drug me along, until he could press his face against the glass. "I want that one...and that one...one of those...and..."

"Just how much money do you think I have?" his grandfather joked.

"Just one item Benny," I said softly into his ear.

"And popcorn?" He asked, pointing to a Milky Way bar, then looking from me to his grandfather.

"And popcorn," his grandfather said to the young man behind the counter.

I carried the popcorn for Benny as we walked down the sloped aisle to find a seat. It wasn't long after we arrived, the house lights dimmed and the room became bathed in darkness. On the great screen before us, a newsreel of war footage flickered to life. I found that for some strange reason, I couldn't watch, preferring to look away as they began showing a great sea battle on the large screen.

"These war reels don't last long..." John whispered over Benny, his eyes showed concern for me.

"I'm fine..." I whispered back.

I tried to stay, but a strange dread enveloped me, my hands shook and after only five minutes of the newsreel. I quickly stood.

"Nicole? You okay?" John glanced up at me quickly.

"I need some air...I'll be okay." I stepped into the aisle and made my way back into the lobby.

"You leaving, ma'am?" the usher asked as he shined his flashlight toward the door.

"Just until the newsreel is over." I pushed aside the door and stood in the lobby, leaning against a wall trying to collect myself.

"You too?" an elderly woman asked aloud, her soft voice caused me to look up.

I nodded. "My husband is somewhere in Germany. The pain I feel for all of the young men...makes it hard to watch the newsreels." I spoke those words, felt her fear...yet really knew nothing about Nicole's husband. The words just spilled out of this beautiful mouth of mine...hers.

"I know what you mean." The woman looked sadly away. "I lost my eldest at Pearl, my youngest, his brother...is somewhere in Africa."

"I'm truly sorry for your loss." I felt a pang of pain, my eyes stung with tears. She saw my torment and came and stood beside me.

She gave me a motherly hug, "Thank you, it does mean a lot."

How could a woman who had lost one of her own, a child that she brought life to, take his death so peacefully? I thought of Benny, even thrust into this life...I knew she would die were she to lose him. "You...you seem to accept your son's death so easily?"

She smiled, "It wasn't always that way." She gently comforted me with a caress of my back. "I shrank back into a shell for almost a year. I knew Keith had wanted to be in the Navy more than anything...he knew that there was always a chance for bad things to happen, when you're in the military." She grew quiet for a moment. "He was on the deck of his ship when the attack came."

I stood looking eye to eye with the young man's mother, she seemed so strong to me. "I don't think I could have handled what you went through."

"...But I did. And you will too." She patted my hand and smiled, "Your young man will come home someday. You'll be doing something and look up...and there he'll be."

"I wish I could be as sure as you are," I replied, unbelieving those words came so effortlessly from my lips. As if I actually had been born into the life of the woman I've become...and with such little effort, was seemingly hoping to meet my husband once again.

"It's never an easy life as a soldier, but deep down I feel that it'll all work out for you!" She gave my hand a squeeze. "He's missing you as badly as you are him...take solace in that."

I found myself nodding in agreement. I was thankful that I had been able to talk to her; she gave me a completely new outlook on my own situation. Because of her, I was able to look at things much differently...if she could summon her inner strength, so could I.

Confidently, I stood, raising myself up mentally as she did. Vowing that, if I was to be stuck as this woman...I'd be a strong woman.

At the very moment of my personal epiphany, the door swung open and the usher stuck his head out, "Newsreel's over."

She placed her arm around my slender shoulder, and gave me a gentle squeeze. "Lets go back inside and try to forget this war for an hour or two."

I nodded and even though I smiled, I was wiping tears as we returned to the darkened theater.

Trying to forget the war and watch The Canterville Ghost would be like going to the beach and sit facing away from the ocean. You still hear the surf, the seagulls...even though you can't see it; you know that it's there. The entire movie seemed based around the war. True, it was funny and I did really enjoy myself, laughing demurely at all the right moments. Even though I appeared to enjoy the movie, I was actually thankful when Benny needed to use the facilities somewhere during the climax of the movie, and I heartily volunteered to take him.

Being in this body was driven home when he stopped me outside the "Men's" restroom door, which almost absentmindedly, I was about to enter. "You can't come in here, Mom. Girls aren't allowed."

Embarrassed, I stayed at the entrance doorway and studied several movie posters hanging on the wall as I waited for him to finish up. It was an odd feeling no longer being welcome in a restroom, which I had actively participated in for almost thirty years! Finally, he walked out and took my hand; his touch startled me as I had been intently studying one poster.

"All done?" I asked.

"Yep."

"Did you wash?" I asked, studying his face. His eyes, which had been looking at me, quickly darted away. For some strange reason; call it motherly intuition; I knew that he was fibbing to me. "Back inside and wash!" I scolded, then found my own way into the "Woman's room to wash my own hand after he had held it."

It was a very strange experience for me, being in a restroom created only for women. In fact, there was one other young girl in the room reapplying her lipstick. I ignored her as best as I could, washed and dried my hands. As I was leaving, I met Benny coming out of the restroom at the same time.

"Can I get a soda?" he asked softly.

"I don't have any money," I replied. "If you think you need one so bad, you could ask your Grandpa."

He thought for a few seconds, "No thanks."

I smiled inwardly; I knew that he was afraid of what his grandfather would tell him. Nothing else was said as we returned to our seats.

I sat with my legs crossed, my dress slid up slightly with the movement. The soft glow from the screen illuminated the litheness of my slender thighs. Even the reflection of the polish upon my fingernails, screamed that I was now a female. I nervously adjusted the hem of my dress, pulling it over my knee then found myself checking on Benny. His gaze held fixed upon the screen, totally immersed in the picture, the soft glow illuminating his face.

Again my mind returned to the sentence of the Guardians. Did the woman whose body I am in, find herself locked inside of my form? Is she also wrestling with the formatting of my life? Would I ever realize what they meant about Faith, Love and Trust?

Suddenly, a very loud explosion brought me back to the movie. On the screen, Robert Young was facing The Canterville Ghost. The movie was about to end and I couldn't really recall paying much attention to it.

As it thankfully came to a close and the credits began rolling, we stood up. "We going back home?" Benny asked.

"How about that ice cream?" John asked, the question was asked of Benny, but he was looking directly toward me. "My treat."

"ICE CREAM!!" Benny squealed.

I nodded, "Something cold before we return home would be nice."

"There's a little place just down the street we can go to," he said as he ushered me on up the aisle and through the doors, out into the lobby.

As we stepped outside, the sun was lower in the sky...but it was still quite hot. We walked down the street and turned inside of a pharmacy. At the end of the room lined a row of tall chairs before a long table that faced a window.

"Mount up boy," John said as he hoisted Benny to the tall seat. "What will it be?"

"Chocolate cone!" he said in a singsong voice.

He spoke to the youth behind the counter, A Chocolate for the boy..." He looked at me.

"I'm fine," I said.

"The lady will have a Vanilla cone with sprinkles." He smiled at me, "Thought I'd have forgotten, didn't you?"

"Can I have sprinkles?" Benny asked his grandpa.

"Both with sprinkles...and I'll have a plain bowl of Vanilla." He pulled out his wallet and placed two dollars on the counter.

I went ahead and took a seat next to my son while Dad picked up his change from the counter and brought Benny and I our cones. He returned and carried his back to the table by the window, placing his on the other side of his grandson.

The cone was very good...and extremely cold. Almost as soon as I began eating it, my arms were washed with goose bumps. But that paled in comparison with the strange stiffness of my nipples, secured in place behind my brazier. They felt as though they were growing, erecting themselves into tiny little towers upon my chest. I carefully placed my arm against my bust, trying to warm both as I hurriedly finished my cone.

It was a strange, and totally unexpected experience, and one that I did not welcome! I ate what I could, what I couldn't...Benny ate. Thankfully, we returned to the warmth of the car and Benny and I climbed inside.

"Goose-bumps?" John laughed climbing inside, watching me try to warm my arms as he closed his door. "Figures, only a woman could have gooseflesh on one of the hottest days of the year!"

"It was cold," I whined pathetically.

"That's probably where it got the "ICE" part of ice cream!" he said with a laugh as he pushed in the starter button.

We exited the town and turned back onto our little dirt road. After a few minutes, we rolled to a stop and he shut off the car.

"What's wrong?" I asked, suddenly becoming aware that we had stopped.

"So you think you can drive my Studebaker?" He smiled. "It's time to find out what you're made of."

"Okay...okay then." I nodded. "I'll show you that I know what I'm doing."

He stepped out and closed the driver's door, leaning into the window he smiled. "Scoot across...it's pretty hard to drive from the passenger side."

"I know that!" I grumbled and gently slid across the seat as he laughed, coming back around to the passenger side."

As he was closing his door, Benny realized that I was seated behind the wheel. "Grandpa, is mommy going to crash us?"

I squinted over my shoulder angrily at him and he scooted to the back of the seat. All of this only made John laugh harder. "Okay, since you know what to do...how about you showing me?"

I pressed the starter only to have the car lurch forward. "Forgot something?" he said with a smirk.

"This pedal..." I pressed the clutch down but was unable to go all the way to the floor since I seemed to have lost several inches during the transformation.

I scooted forward and pushed it to the floor, then pressed the starter. The engine cranked over, then roared to life. Coupled with being shorter, my leg no longer had the strength in it to hold the clutch in for any great length of time. I began to tremble, a strange fearfulness washed over me. Doubt percolated toward the surface...was I sure I could drive? How much did I actually remember of my old life had been replaced. How much of Nicole's had taken over?

Inwardly, I wanted to scream! "How could I have forgotten how to drive? I couldn't seem to remember to work both my feet in unison to make a simple car like this go...was it impossible to absorb so much of the real Nicole that it outweighed my male mind?" My thoughts raced as much as the engine did.

"Back off the gas some, let out the clutch...no, NO...The left pedal!" John directed, pointing to my feet.

"I'm trying!" I snapped back in confusion, but still the engine raced.

"Well then, do it..." He suggested smugly.

More so for my transformed mind I asked him once again, "I...I let this out and press this thing at the same time." Even though I thought I knew...I still came across sounding like a naive schoolgirl, during her first driving lesson.

"That thing is called the gas pedal..let it up some! You're racing the engine too much." He pointed to the far right pedal again.

During the melee, a soft voice came from the back seat, "Are we going to die, Grandpa?"

The engine began to race as the car jerked forward, I thought I knew what I was doing, but something had been lost since the transformation of me to Nicole! I no longer could recall how to shift, let alone hold the heavy car on the road with my much weaker muscles. We began sputtering down the gravel road, the car swaying from side to side.

"You got to shift into second!" he barked, "push in the clutch!"

I pressed in the clutch, which brought the car to a sliding stop, killing the engine during the process. He covered his face with his hands, sat and laughed for a few seconds, "Not as easy as you thought...is it? By the way Nicole, that was the break you pushed," he said amid his breaks of snickering and outright laughter.

I threw open my door and stormed around the car, standing outside of the passenger window, in near tears I stammered. "M...move back over...you're driving!"

"Nope. You said you could drive...get yourself back over there and drive us home!" He folded his arms on the window body and smiled. "Got to learn sooner or later! If this was a horse and it just threw you, I'd tell you to get back on. So...mount up!"

I was fuming as I stomped my way back around the car, climbing once again behind the steering wheel. He laughed hard for almost a full minute before he pulled the gearshift back into neutral.

Normally, it would have taken him about ten minutes to get home...it took me a half hour. I killed the car so many times I was afraid of ruining it. The big Studebaker was so heavy; it took about all I had to keep it on the road. By the time we pulled in to the drive, I felt as though I was doing well enough to be considered dangerous. With a prayer of thanks and a sigh of relief, I shut off the engine and rested my head against the huge steering wheel. Tears welled into my eyes.

"Well, that was an adventure!" He laughed and popped open his door. "Come on Benny ol boy, we'll hurry up and change, then we can do our evening chores."

I sat quietly inside the car drying my eyes as they walked toward the house, after a few steps, John turned around, "You coming?"

I said nothing, slowly the door swung out and I stepped onto the running board and into the driveway. My knees felt weak, my hands were still shaking as I closed the door and began my trek into the house. At the front door I was met by one of the friendlier cats on the farm. "I'm not so sure I'll be ready to do that again all too soon!" I sighed as I bent down to scratch the little tabby's ear, and then stepped into the house to begin working on supper.

I couldn't believe what I was feeling! I'd driven a stick shift hundreds of times, not once did I ever encounter the trouble I had during that one short drive. My stomach was in knots, my heart was still pounding and my hands were clammy. My residual memories should have seen me through the task without any effort at all!

I pulled down a glass and removed the iced tea from the refrigerator, carefully pouring it half full and trying to avoid spilling it onto the counter because of my trembling hands.

After several minutes, my nerves calmed and I no longer felt as though I would cry. I heard the screen door open and looked back over my shoulder, it was my father-in-law.

"You okay?" he asked as he slowly stepped around the table. I could only nod my response. "Everybody has a rough go at it the first time around."

I turned to him, the words hung in my throat. I wanted to tell him that my mind was in such a great turmoil...that I HAD driven a manual transmission many times...and not once did I have the problems I had today. But I shook it off and sighed, "I drove horribly..."

"You should've seen the Missus...now that was a sight!" He laughed and stole my cup of tea, taking a sip then handing it back. "She only had two forward gears...with no clutch...you had three in the deal INCLUDING the clutch!" He began jerking his body back and forth as he imitated his ride with his late wife. His carrying on did make me laugh.

I gave him a hug, "Thanks Dad..."

He shrugged, "So...when you're ready again, you'll come see me?"

I shrugged, "I'm not sure I'll ever be ready."

"Sure you will." He chided me with a wave of his hand. "Maybe when Blaine gets back, he can trade in the Plymouth for one of those automatic transmissions. You'll learn, when it's not so complicated."

He glanced out the window toward the barn. "Well...I guess I'd better be checking up on the boy, he and that dog of his are supposed to be moving the cows toward the back pasture." He started for the door and paused. "You sure you'll be okay?"

"I'm sure...thanks." He gave me a quick wink and headed outside. I laughed to myself as I pulled my apron down and began to work on a quick supper.

I prepared our meal, which would consist of strawberries I had frozen back in the spring, and a cake I prepared early this morning while it was still cool. Just right for a hot day like today!

When the guys came in to eat, nothing more was said about my driving. I had a suspicion that Dad had said something to Benny because several times they would exchange glances. We ate the strawberry shortcake quietly and washed it down with iced tea. We had finished early and by 6:00 pm, both Dad and Benny had already retreated to the living room. I busied myself with the dishes and went to join them as soon as I had finished.



** 4 **

Our evening ended simply enough, I would imagine it wound down much like hundreds of thousands of other families across America. We settled down in the living room, with John in the big chair, me in the rocker. Benny stretched out on the floor, elbows bent, his head propped in his hands. Dad tuned the big Zenith radio on to a serial program and we enjoyed two hours of laughter and suspense, depending which of the four programs we were listening to at the time.

At 8:00 I herded Benny into the bathroom for a bath, due to the drought, I only let him fill the tub with three inches of water. Three inches of water wasn't much, as far as bathwater was concerned, but at least he would be clean without much drain from our depleted cistern.

As he bathed, I returned to the living room and divided my attention to him and a music program. I found myself stitching up a pocket where John had accidentally caught it on the gate latch. It was rather strange to never have picked up a needle and thread before, yet somehow know what to do and how to do it without really thinking. I wondered how much of this woman's life I would absorb, before I would be able to return to my old life?

After several minutes I sat aside my sewing and returned to the bath so I could get Benny off to bed. Making sure he washed behind his ears, I examined him and gave his cleanliness my "motherly" stamp of approval. Gathering his towel up in my hands, I turned my head, held it for him and waited until he stepped out onto the rug, "Dry off and get ready for bed."

"Can I listen to some more...?" he began.

I cut him off, calmly reminding him, "All I want you to be doing is shuffling off to bed. Little boys need to get plenty of sleep!"

He grew quiet, "Mom."

"Yes Benny," I said as I dried his hair with another towel.

"Do you think Daddy still remembers me?" His question came right out of the blue, I straightened myself up in surprise.

"Of course he does!" I gently took hold of his chin, making him look up at me, "Your father loves you very much, he would never forget you! Why would you be asking a question like that?"

He looked away; he appeared almost ashamed to say. "It's been so long since I saw Daddy...I...I can't even remember what he looked like."

I scooped him up and walked into my bedroom, there on the dresser was a picture of Blaine in his uniform. It was good, but not my favorite one of his...at least the memory I was absorbing seemed to think.

"You can have this photo of Daddy until he comes home. Put it beside your bed, always know that he loves you and will come home someday soon."

Benny reached out and gently pulled the picture closer, "Is that what you do, Mommy?"

"I...I have my memories," I replied, knowing that with each moment I was in this body, it became more and more true. "Besides, I have the photo on my nightstand to see at night."

He looked toward the nightstand at it, I sat him down on the bed so he could see his father's other picture closer "I like that one better, Daddy's smiling in it."

"You don't like the one I gave you?" I asked, sitting down with him on the bed.

"I like it...he's in his Uni..uni..." he said thoughtfully.

"Uniform," I replied softly.

"Yeah. But, he's smiling in your picture," Benny said as he touched his father's mouth on the photo.

"Tell you what, you take the soldier picture of Daddy...and I'll get you a copy made of my picture. That way, both of us will have one of Daddy smiling." I gave him a hug, "How's that?"

"What about Grandpa?" He asked.

"We'll get one for Grandpa too!" I said with a smile.

"Okay. Can we surprise him?" he asked, "His birthday is coming up soon."

For some reason, August 21st jumped into my head. "It'll be our secret, but don't say a word."

He smiled and made a locking motion against his lips.

"That's my boy," I said as I hugged him tightly, "Okay, we've dawdled long enough, get your picture of Daddy and it's off to bed for you!"

"I can do it myself," he said as he dropped his feet onto the floor.

"Don't forget to say good-night to Grandpa before you turn in." I reminded him, sounding much like this was a daily conversation between us.

"I won't." As he rounded the bed he paused with his father's photo. "Mom?"

"Yes honey?"

"I'll take care of Daddy's picture for you. Okay?" He reassured me innocently.

"I know you will..." I began softly as my voice trailed away. With that, he disappeared into the hallway. My gaze returned to the smiling image still on the nightstand. "Good-night Blaine my love." I sighed, even before it registered inside my mind, I had placed a kiss on the photo.

I sat the photo back and in stunned silence, also got myself ready for bed. Occasionally, I would return my gaze to the image of my husband, perplexed at the slow transformation of my mind. "My God, what will be next?" I whispered as I began unbuttoning my dress.

A nightgown was lying along the end of the bed; I picked it up and without really much thought, began to put it on. I was slipping on a robe when my eye caught the reflection of myself in the vanity mirror. Normally, had I spied this woman on the street, there would have been some sort of natural arousal within me...even a completely innocent interest would have bubbled to the surface. But now, since the verdict of the Guardians...I felt nothing sexual for the woman I had become...absolutely nothing.

I sighed, "That's not entirely true..." I whispered to myself as I wrestled with my own thoughts. While it was true that the intensely sexual feeling I once had for the female form was gone, now it had been replaced with a slow inner desire to attract, of all things...men. I shuddered at the thought, but it was the old me that seemed so distracted by it. I was in a quandary, do I fight the odd feelings that seemed to permeate this body, or just accept her feelings as my own?

I sighed and sought out my slippers from under the bed, finding only one I crouched down and fished my hand out into the darkness. I kept working myself along the bed, knowing that the mate should be near the other when my hand came into contact with a great piece of cloth.

Dragging it out, I realized that it was a dark blue robe; with it rolled out the missing slipper. I tossed the robe on the bed and pushed my other foot into the illusive shoe.

Once again, that strange call that seemed to have become part of the new me, began to rear its head once again. Cleanliness was a new trait in me; it seemed to grow more and more each minute I was here. I picked up the robe and shook it fiercely, trying to knock loose the dust from its surface. As I gently folded it, I realized that it must have been Blaine's robe and had fallen from the bedpost at one time or another. I reverently held it and stood quietly looking at his picture, tears welling into the corners of my eyes.

I bent my head down and cried into the soft material, not sure if all of what was happening was causing me to lose my mind. I dried my tears on the robe's sleeve, hesitating at a familiar scent.

"Aftershave?" I whispered in shock. "It's Blaine's!" Again I inhaled deeply the masculine scent of my husbands aftershave, it was like ambrosia to my soul. I found myself smiling, the smell allowing this trapped woman's mind of mine, to relive happier times. I straightened up, and gently laid the robe on "his" side of the bed.

With a quick backwards glance at Blain's photo, I smiled and quietly walked out of the room. I don't know what actually happened while I was in that room, but I felt as though I had crossed some sort of great divide...a divide I needed to penetrate to become one with Nicole.

As I returned to the living room, I should have felt some embarrassment at being seen in my nightgown and robe, especially in front of my father-in-law. But his reaction seemed as if it were a common occurrence. I sat down on the couch, as I did, John looked over at me.

"I heard you two talking in the room..." He forced a smile. "I'll not say anything to the boy."

"Thanks Dad." I turned a lamp on between us. "He just misses Blaine so much."

"We all do." He looked away quickly; he had tears in his eyes.

"He'll be alright," I said, placing my hand on his.

"I know." He wiped his eyes. "I just hate seeing you and the boy having to deal with everything on the farm with my boy being gone."

"We're not alone," I reminded him.

He nodded and gave me a crooked smile. "I know that too."

He gave me a toothy grin, I think more to change the subject for fear of it becoming a crying session for the both of us. "You did pretty well today with the Studebaker...for a first time. I told Benny to lay low at supper."

I laughed, "I thought so..." I replied, then added, "Too bad for the car though, I probably ruined it."

"If Agnes could get the hang of it, I figure you can too," he said with a hearty laugh. "Once you get it down...I guess for now, Blaine's Plymouth will be a piece of cake."

I frowned slightly, trying to use Nicole's memories to jog my mind. "Why is that? Did Blaine tell you something that I don't know?" I replied, hoping that he would say something to remind me.

He laughed, "You've always been a bit nervous to drive it...heck the Plymouth hasn't moved a lick since Blaine left. Yeah...I guess he did mention something about you stalling it a few times when he tried to show you how to drive it."

"I'm not afraid of it if that's what you're thinking!" I felt as though I had been insulted in a backhanded sort of way, it got my dander up.

"Oh no...Being afraid isn't what I'm getting at, Nicole...you know danged well that the Plymouth is Blaine's pride and joy!"

I still fought frantically, trying to remember his car, something kept me thinking that it was parked in one of our barns or sheds...but I couldn't be certain. "Blaine's pride and joy is some old car?" I frowned, "I thought his family was his pride and joy!"

"Oh his family surely is...but the two of you, saving up for almost four years to buy yourselves a car...that Plymouth is it!" He smiled in a teasing way, "None of us had ever seen a brand spanking new car...it still looks the same as the day you picked it out on the lot!"

I rolled my eyes at him causing the man to laugh. "Oh come on, Nicole...not everyone has a 41 Plymouth in their barn. With the war on, who knows when they'll be back making new ones?"

I shook my head sadly, the words coming out before I realized what I was saying. "What is it with you men and your cars?"

He laughed and reached across and patted my hand. "Being a woman... you'll probably never know."

I sat quietly mulling over his comment, it wasn't totally true...I had been a man and could still remember my head turning for more than one rolling beauty...but now, I felt some sort of disconnection with the luster of an automobile. I sighed to myself in confused frustration and picked at the doily under my arm. To me now, to this body I have somehow become attached to...an auto is nothing more than a means to get you from point A to point B. I sighed, knowing that I'd probably never again feel that exhilaration at the power of a great vehicle.

As we sat there quietly listening to the radio, Benny walked into the room. "Good night, Grandpa!" He hugged his grandfather tightly. "I love you."

He leaned over to me and hugged me as well, "Good night, Mommy...I love you too!"

"I love you too, Honey," I whispered into his ear. As we parted I kissed him on the cheek, both Dad and I stood up.

"Off to bed already? Well, I'll see you bright and early, Ben ol boy!" Grandpa called out to him as he began to leave, jostling his hair at the same time.

Ben paused at his father's picture, "Good night, Daddy. I love you too!" He kissed his fingers and stretched to touch the cheek of his father, a cry caught in my throat, tears flooded my eyes making the room suddenly blur as our son began his climb up the stairs to bed.

"That's some young man you and Blaine are growing there," Dad said as he looked back toward me. "Aw...honey." He sighed, seeing me bawling. He gathered me into a comforting, fatherly embrace. I could say nothing as the tears flooded down upon my cheeks.



** 5 **

It's funny how you can loose track of the days when you're slowly being forced to assimilate the life of a person. With the dawn of each new day, I'm finding it hard to tell where my old life ended and new one begun. I had been happily minding my own business as a man, then bam...next day, I was deep into the confines of this young housewife I've become.

Where had the time gone? It seemed that each day folded into the next as easily as I folded a shirt or blouse. Each one building upon another until it was days...then weeks...until I lost all track of time.

I was at a loss. I needed to think. Perhaps it was the heat of this drought, possibly the overwhelming fact of suddenly being dropped into a feminine body and told..."There you go, live her life." I needed time to think more often than not, most times I would go off by myself and just think...hoping I would wake from this mad dream I found myself caught up inside.

One evening after putting Benny to bed, I was sitting on the porch stoop listening to the crickets, just enjoying the relative coolness of the outside, at least, more then the heat of the house. I heard movement in the doorway behind me. "Care for some company?" It was my father-in-law, speaking through the screen.

I scooted aside to allow him to swing the screen door open, "It's a lot cooler out here," I softly said.

"That's what I was thinking," he said as he grunted, slowly lowering himself down on the stoop beside me.

I was studying the clear night sky, losing myself in the sheer multitude of stars as he spoke. "The good thing about this dry spell is that it's keeping the 'skeeters' down." He leaned back against the door. "Moon's not out...makes for good star gazing."

I nodded, "All these stars make a girl feel pretty insignificant."

"Insignificant?" he wondered aloud, "You're far from insignificant!"

I pointed up, "It gives me comfort knowing that Blaine may be looking up at those very same stars." John nodded and gave my leg a pat.

"He's probably wishing he could be sitting here instead of me. Right now, truthfully...I wished he was."

My face grew red, I could feel it warming up even more, knowing that if Blaine was sitting beside me, he'd probably be wanting more than just conversation...but I kept that to myself.

"Is something bothering you?" he asked.

I gave him a short laugh, speaking truthfully, I replied, "Some days lately, I don't know if I'm coming or going."

"What's the matter, Nicole? I've seen worry written on your face more than once lately...you worried about Blaine?"

I nodded; my hair tickled my shoulder from the movement. "That must be it. Though, I don't really know what's wrong with me, I can't put my finger on it," I lied, "I'm just feeling out of sorts right now."

"The boy will be fine," he replied confidently then continued, "It's probably having an old fart like me hanging around?" He studied my eyes.

"You're no old fart," I said with a smile, "God John, I don't know what I'd do without you being around here!" I played with the hem of my sundress. "I...I just don't know if I'm doing justice to all of you...this farm...Blaine. I'm just..."

"Sounds like you're afraid of the future..." he interrupted. He gave my hand a squeeze. "You're a hell of a mother to the boy...more calm...even better since you've rid yourself of those cotton-picking headaches!"

I recalled that first day I met him, he had been bringing me aspirin. So much time had passed since then...and yet, it seemed as though it was only yesterday.

He gave me a gentle hug. "Blaine would be proud of the way your handling the farm, not to mention how your taking care of Benny- boy."

"He is a beautiful child," I whispered softly, trying to keep from tearing up. "Both his heart and soul...much like Blaine."

"And that's a reflection of how he's being raised...don't ever short yourself on that, Nicole. And when Blain comes home. Which he will come home! You and he can get on with your family...seeing about adding to the noise and confusion on this property."

I laughed, but I knew what he meant.

He looked away, "I know we haven't always seen eye to eye...we've had our disagreements from time to time. But lately, it's as though you've changed...somehow became the daughter I always hoped you'd be."

I felt my throat tighten. "That's really sweet of you to say, John," I replied, snaking my hand inside his upper arm and leaned in, hugging him.

"I just thought you should know. You're the best damn daughter-in- law I have! I couldn't imagine having a better one. Well...until you destroyed the clutch on my car," he said it without cracking even a smile.

I began laughing and gave him a push with my elbow. This was his way, always joking to break an emotional conversation up...always finding a way to send either Ben or I into giggles. "I'm your only daughter-in-law, John."

"That's why you're the best!" he said smiling.

We shared each other's company for several more minutes before he slowly yawned and stood, "I think I'm going to head to bed."

"I guess I'll call it a night too," I said as helped me to my feet. "Always the gentleman," I replied to his kindness.

"Nah, I just needed the counterbalance...you know, in my old age."

I shook my head as he held the door for me, "You know...you're a goofball," I kidded him, "but I guess I'll love you anyway."

"That's Mr. Goofball, to you missy!" He said as he pulled the door shut behind both of us. "Nicole?"

I paused and looked at him, his eyes were twinkling as he gave me a smile. "I love you too, Honey." I couldn't help but see a hint of Blaine in that smile. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight, Dad," I replied, giving him another hug. "Thank you," I whispered, lightly kissing his cheek.



** 6 **

I rolled over; the morning sun was beginning to illuminate the bedroom. I focused on the smiling face of my husband's photograph. "Morning love." I whispered. In my mind, I heard him respond in kind. With a deep sigh, I threw back the covers and sat up. Yawning, I stretched lithely, my body reacting in the only way it seemed fit...as was designed upon the annuals of time.

I swung my legs out from under the covers and slipped my feet into my slippers, as I slowly stood and began to make the bed, I spied the blue robe, which had become my nightly companion. Blaine's familiar scent permeated out from the cloth, it was a smell that helped me sooth my frazzled nerves. I pulled the covers tightly and smoothed out the bedspread, tucking a portion just under the soft pillows.

I made my way around to my husband's side of the bed, reverently picked up the robe and drank deep the faint aftershave smell. It was a strange thought to miss someone so desperately even though I had never met him. I sighed and placed it once again upon the bedpost, then straightened and smoothed out his side of the bed.

It has now been almost three months since the Guardians had transformed me into Nicole. And for the most, part I have assumed her role entirely without complaint. Even when the dreaded monthly "visitor" came twice now, I accepted it as if menstruation were nothing more than an occasional nuisance. Although it did take awhile to become accustomed to wearing feminine pads, albeit completely normal for a woman of youth as I now considered myself. All of these thoughts raced through my feminine mind as I began to ready myself for the day, removing the sheer nightgown I had on, laying in at the end of the bed.

I snatched a quick glance at the alarm clock; it reminded me that I had to hurry to have breakfast ready for John and Benny. Such was the life for a mother and daughter on a small rural farm...her men needed her, and I was now that woman.

As I turned, from the corner of my eye, I caught sight of my almost naked body in the mirror, save for the underwear I had on. I decided that while I was no Lana Turner, I had a quiet beauty that seemed to turn men's heads quiet easily. I smiled at myself, and then continued to dress for the day. It was a powerful feeling, knowing that many males would think that I was a very desirable female...however, there was only one man that I truly wanted, and he specifically, was somewhere in Germany.

Picking out a clean bra from my drawer, I slipped the straps over my shoulders and slowly worked my hands around the wide band until I found the little hooks. I quickly clasped my brazier behind me as if it were something I had done since puberty, removed and pulled clean panties up my smooth legs. Once again it would be an extremely hot day, according to my conversation last night with Dad, our second straight month. Knowing this, I sought out a lightweight dress and buttoned it up; the three buttons were set on an angle, high on my waist. A wide belt was fastened as I took my seat at the vanity.

One by one, the bristly curlers were dropped into a drawer, along with each bobby pin that had held them in place. A quick brushing and the hair seemed to fall in place, conforming to the usual style I wore.

Makeup went on with casual diligence; it felt as though I was putting it on for the hundred-thousandth time. As I stood, I slipped my feet into a pair of low shoes, practical for a housewife's daily wear.

Within twenty minutes I was in the kitchen and working on their breakfast. As the eggs were frying in one skillet and bacon in another, I was finishing up the coffee pot and reattaching the lid with the glass dome.

Within minutes, John strolled into the kitchen. "Morning Nicole."

"Morning Dad. Coffee will be ready in a jiffy," I replied over my shoulder as I expertly flipped his eggs.

"Smells real good," He asked as he settled down into his seat. "Ben up yet?"

"Not yet," I replied as I removed the eggs, deposited them onto a plate for him, beside each I put several pieces of bacon.

He picked up his fork as I cracked another two eggs into the skillet, "I'm going down to Doc Seymour's farm all day, helping him make silage with his corn. I'll be taking the Farmall."

"Okay," I replied, not turning.

"Do you think you can keep Benny busy around here, we'll be too caught up to keep an eye on him." He glanced at the coffee pot as it let out a low growl, a blast of hot liquid danced inside the glass dome as it percolated.

"Sure, I can find something for him to do around here," I replied as I took the eggs and flipped them. As the eggs in the skillet were finishing, I picked up Dad's cup and filled it with the steaming coffee.

"Thanks, Hun," he replied as he took a tentative sip of the hot liquid.

I glanced up as I returned to my cooking, Benny walked into the kitchen, his hair in complete disarray. "Morning." He yawned.

"Welcome sunshine!" I giggled, removing his eggs and placing them onto his plate. "You want any bacon?"

"Sure," he said yawning again. "I'll have some."

As he was finishing, I placed his plate in front of him. I turned and pulled the bottle of milk from the refrigerator and poured him a small glass, this too was placed before my son.

I wiped down the stove and munched on a slice of bacon, the skillets were deposited into the sink and I began running hot water over them. As I shook in the soap flakes, I listened to the conversation behind me.

"I'm going to be at the Seymour's farm today...we're making silage out of the wilted corn."

"Can I come?" Benny asked.

"I don't think so...not this time." He took a sip of coffee and sat his cup down; I heard the thunk from the cup against the table. "You stay here around the farm and help out your mother."

I glanced back and watched Benny's shoulders slump. "Maybe you can earn some money doing a few chores for me?" I mentioned.

He perked up, quickly looking back at me. "Money?"

"Not much...but maybe a dollar or two," I replied over my shoulder as I began wiping down the dirty dishes."

"Aren't you going to eat?" Dad wondered aloud.

"I've eaten a couple slices of bacon and had some toast before you got up, I'm fine," I replied as I moved the skillet into the opposite sink to drain. It was true. Ever since I've arrived as Nicole, I haven't been very hungry. I assumed that this body had no need for large quantities of food, let alone big meals.

I heard Dad scoot his plate away; he stood and carried it around to me. "On the counter or in the sink?" I stepped back and pointed into the sudsy water, he placed it into the sink gently.

"You about done, Benny?" I asked as he pushed the last of his bacon into his mouth. "Manners?" I frowned as I questioned the boy.

He sheepishly carried his plate and fork to the sink, I took it and slid it under the water and began to scrub it clean.

"What sort of chore do you have for me?" he asked, pushing his little hands into his pocket and teetering upon his heels.

"I want you to check the garden for anything ripe. Be extra careful on the tomatoes, watch out for those big green tomato worms." He made a face as I said that. "For each one that you remove, I'll give you a nickel!"

His eyes lit up. "No matter what size?"

"Big or little...still a nickel," I replied as I let my dishwater down.

He searched through the trash and found a big bean can, "I'll put them in here, that way I can show you so that you know I won't be lying." He quickly left the house and with a bang, the screen door slammed shut.

"I trust you..." I called out to the closed door. "Always in a hurry to make a little spending money." I giggled, looking toward his grandfather who was staring at the door with a big smile on his face.

Finally after several seconds, he looked back at me and sighed. "Well, I want to get as much done as I can this morning while it's still cool. I'll not be home until supper. Doc and his wife will feed me lunch," he said as he placed his old tattered Stetson on his head. He downed the rest of his coffee and handed me the dirty cup. I looked from it to my empty sink, squinting my eyes at him in mock anger. He smiled and stepped back, as if I would have clobbered him...in supposed fear he began walking backward, quickly backing out of the kitchen and snickering once outside.

I laughed to myself and rinsed out his cup, leaving it in the bottom of the sink for when I did Benny and my lunch dishes.

As he left, Dad caught up with Benny in the yard, I could hear them speaking to each other. "The water's still off to the pump. If the dog's thirsty and wants a drink, take him down to the creek.

"There isn't much at the creek either Grandpa," Benny replied, squinting in the bright sunlight at his grandfather.

Dad sighed and looked up at the hazy morning sky. "It's been almost two months since we've had any decent rain, it had better happen real soon or we'll be burying our livestock. A sprinkle here or there isn't going to cut it!" He looked down and sighed. "I guess I'd better be going if I want to get anything done before the real heat of the day sets in." He patted Ben on the back and slowly walked out to his Farmall. Ben followed and watched from a safe distance as his grandpa cranked the tractor over a few times before climbing up on the high seat.

"Mind your mother, boy," he said to his grandson then motioned for him to return to the garden with a gesture of his head, as he did, he started the tractor and slowly rolled down the driveway toward The Seymour's farm. Benny followed slightly and watched him until his grandpa was out of site.

As I watched the tractor driving away, Benny slowly trudged back toward the garden. "Poor kid, I know you'd rather be with your grandpa than stuck at home with a woman...let alone your mother." I smiled at the thought of me referring to myself as "Mother", and with a laugh, returned to my housework.

Even though I never really thought of myself as a neat freak, I took to cleaning as though it was my sole responsibility on this planet. A strange side of me felt completed as I would move from one chore to another...it was almost a prideful feeling as each room I left, was now sparkling clean.

Minutes turned into hours, I busied myself in first one room, then another. Toiling away on my own chore until finally after a few hours, I began to think about lunch for the two of us. It was becoming stifling hot outside, I knew that Benny would want something light to eat; I decided that it would be peanut butter with homemade jelly sandwich.

As I was making our lunch, I glanced up and saw my little Benny walking toward the woods. He wasn't walking with the usual carefree abandon of a youth but as if he had a serious purpose. I could only see his back as he disappeared out of view. He was obviously walking with a great effort...trying to be as still as possible.

At first, I thought nothing of it, Benny often wandered back to the woods from time to time and I felt sure he knew his boundaries while in the woods. However, minutes after he disappeared into the woods, he came running out again, toward the house. I was mildly interested but again, it wasn't unusual to see a boy running to or fro on a farm. It didn't look like it was a serious emergency so I went back to making lunch; thinking that whatever task he had been doing was completed. Moments later, however, he was once again walking in that slow purposeful stride toward the woods. I was held mesmerized by his antics, I couldn't help myself as I stood quietly in the kitchen and watched him.

This activity went on for an hour: walking carefully to the woods, running back to the house. I felt my brows knit, I slowly made my way to the screen door, folded my arms across my chest, leaned against the doors' frame and watched this act transpire two more times. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what was going on...and that bothered the mother in me.

Finally I couldn't take it any longer and I crept out of the house and followed him on his journey being very careful not to be seen...as he was obviously doing important work and didn't need his Mommy checking up on him. He was cupping both hands in front of him as he walked.

My eyes followed the direction he had come from; it was a direct line from the pump. I sighed, knowing the disappointment his grandfather would have if he were to find out that Benny disregarded a rule. But putting two and two together, I knew he was holding water. "But Why?" I whispered to myself as I followed.

Being very careful, Benny tried hard not to spill what he held in his hands...maybe two or three tablespoons at best. I sneaked close as he went into the woods. Branches and thorns slapped his little face, but he did not try to avoid them. He had a much higher purpose. As I leaned in to spy on him, I saw the most amazing site, which filled me with both awe and extreme maternal fear.

Several large deer loomed in front of him. Benny cautiously walked right up to them, I almost screamed for him to get away but that would only startle them and who knows what could happen then! A huge buck with elaborate antlers was dangerously close. But the buck did not threaten him...he only watched as Benny knelt down. And then at their feet, I saw a tiny fawn lying on the ground; obviously suffering from dehydration and heat exhaustion, lift its head with great effort to lap up the water cupped in my beautiful boy's hand.

When the water was gone, Benny slowly stood as not to frighten the deer, and turned to head back to the house. When he moved far enough away, he began to run. I hid as he raced past, concealing myself behind a large tree.

In a slow trot, I followed him back to the house and to the spigot to which his grandpa had shut off the water. Benny lifted the handle all the way up and a small droplet of water began to creep out. Perhaps only enough water remained in the line to allow the tiny handfuls he was able to gather.

He knelt there, letting the drip, drip slowly fill up his makeshift "cup," as the sun beat down on his little back. And it came clear to me: The scolding he had gotten into for wasting the water the last few weeks, the lecture he had received from his grandfather about the importance of not wasting water. They were only a few of the reasons he didn't ask me to help him.

I swallowed hard as the emotion filled me; I slipped away and into the house for only a moment. I knew what I had to do while he continued his life-giving chore. I said nothing but waited unseen; it took almost twenty minutes for the drops to fill his hands. By the time he carefully stood to his feet and pressed the pump handle down using his elbow, turning he began the trek back. At the last second, he glanced up and saw me standing in front of him.

His little eyes just filled with tears. "Mom...I...I'm not wasting..." was all he said. I gave him a knowing smile and motioned my head for him to continue, and as he began his walk, I joined him...with a small pot of water from the kitchen.

I let him tend to the fawn. I stayed hidden. It was his job. I stood on the edge of the woods watching the most beautiful heart I have ever known, working so hard to save another life. As the tears that rolled down my face began to hit the ground, other drops...and more drops...and more suddenly joined them. I looked up at the darkened sky. It was as if God, himself, was weeping with joy.

My heart swelled with motherly admiration, as my son and I returned to the farm in the gently falling summer rain. From when I had first noticed Benny until now, time had spanned over several hours, but somehow with my own eyes...I watched a child, my son, somehow step out of the youthful shadows into the role of protector to the helpless. I smiled down at him as held onto my hand, elated beyond measure with what I had just witnessed my son doing.

"Do you suppose it'll live?" He asked softly as we walked.

"It's got a better chance, since you helped it," I replied as I gave his hand a gentle squeeze.

"I hope so," he said with a smile.

As we neared the back of the property, I asked, "How was it that you came to help the poor fawn?"

He pointed toward the garden, "I saw it fall twice before it went into the woods, both times it's mother nudged it with her nose...trying to get it back up. The last time it fell, it never got up. I thought it was dead."

The rain was still falling gently upon the ground, the earth darkening more and more from the drops. "Weren't you afraid?"

He shrugged, "I was, but I was more afraid that it was dead. That's why I went back there...if it was dead, I'd have buried it."

He grew quiet as we walked past the barns and up toward the house, finally he sighed and glanced back toward the woods. "I did it for Daddy."

I paused, looking curiously down at him. "For Daddy?"

"While I was working in the garden, I was thinking about the war. If Daddy was ever hurt, I would want someone like me to help him."

I felt tears stinging my eyes. He continued. "Seeing the fawn fall so many times got me to thinking...that little deer couldn't get to the water, it's parents couldn't carry it...somebody has to help. Somebody like me!"

I knelt down in the wet grass and gave him a huge hug, "Did I ever tell you that I love you?"

He smiled, "Only about a jillion times."

I hugged him again, this time kissing his forehead. "Don't ever stop having a beautiful soul!" Again I gave him another hug, tears mixed with the rain upon my face.

"Mom?"

I leaned back, "Yes Benny?"

"Can we get out of the rain...I'm hungry. I think I missed lunch." I stood and giggled at his comment. Here he had just done one of the most beautiful thing's I had ever seen, and he has already pushed it past as if it were old news.

With a laugh, I gently tugged his hand and we continued inside.

And still it softly rained.

** 7 **

Later that evening during supper, Benny relayed his day to his Grandfather. The elderly man sat quietly in disbelief, until I spoke up.

"I saw Benny do it with my own eyes. It's unbelievable, but it's true!" I smiled proudly at my son.

"I'll be dipped," he whispered. "No kidding."

Benny sat up straighter, looking from me to his Grandfather. "I know I got punishment coming for using the water when I was told not to..."

His Grandpa smiled. "I don't think that's necessary..."

Benny gave him a surprised look. "I did wrong Grandpa. I figure I got it coming to me."

"Benny, your grandfather said he didn't think it was necessary," I reminded him once again.

He sat staring into the bowl of mashed potatoes. "But I didn't listen..."

John looked at me, his bewildered expression matching my own. "Are you saying that you want to be punished?"

"I don't WANT to be punished...I just figure that I disobeyed you, and for that I should have some kind of punishment."

"What you did was a good thing, Benny," I argued. "That little deer would have probably died without your help!"

"I...I'll take away my radio privileges for tonight," he said as he took a drink of his milk. "I'll go straight to bed after supper."

"I've never seen the like, the boy is punishing himself!" John said, scratching his head. "You don't have to do that, son. Under the circumstances, I'd have probably done the same thing!"

"But I was told to not mess with the water..." Benny said as he stood up. "May I be excused?"

I was stunned. "Well...I...yes Benny, you may be excused." My gaze went from Benny to my father-in-law.

He shook his head as the boy exited the kitchen. "That's some son you're raising...going to be quite a man someday!"

I sighed and smiled, still watching the direction he had left in, "...Like his father."

While I began to clear the table, Dad stood at the kitchen door, he inhaled deeply the sweet smell of the rain. "Still coming down...we sure need this."

I sat the dirty dishes on the counter and began putting the leftovers into the refrigerator as the sink began to fill with water. Once done, I closed the fridge door and shook some boxed soap into the sink. Wetting a dishrag, I wiped down the kitchen table and returned the shakers to the stove where we kept them. As I worked, I began to think about what had happened that day with the deer and the rain.

"Simply amazing," I said with an astonished whisper.

"What's that?" John asked, turning from the screen door that he had been staring through.

"It started raining directly after Benny had got that little fawn to sit up and drink. It was almost like God was crying right along with me," I said as I placed the dirty dishes in the water.

"He probably was," he replied cocking his head to a low rumble of far off thunder. "He's being rewarded by the heavens for his kindness."

I smiled, "And we're being rewarded by loving him for fine young boy that he is." I looked down into the sink, tears filling my eyes.

His grandfather nodded, "He's a special one...that he is."

"He said it was because of Blaine that he came to the aid of the little deer. Benny told me that he hoped if something happened to his daddy, he wished someone like him, would help," I said, smiling proudly and wiping my tears with the back of my hand.

Grandpa John turned back toward the screen and nodded while whispering, "He's going to be a fine man someday..."

I couldn't agree more, I thought as I too turned back to my task at hand, as grateful tears fell against the top of my dress.

After several minutes of standing at the door watching the rain, John slowly turned and walked to the living room. A short time later, I could hear Glen Miller's Moonlight Serenade playing softly from the radio. Without actually looking, I could imagine that he was seated in his chair, listening to the big Zenith radio and waiting for his programs to begin.

I finished the supper dishes and set about cleaning the refrigerator, the items that I was going to throw away were placed in an old pie tin. Their containers were placed into the sink to soak for a few minutes as I carried the tin out and stood under our awning.

"Here Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty!" I chirped, then stood silently as our barn cats raced from their hiding places, through the rain, until one halted and paced around my feet mewing.

"Would you like some scraps?" I asked the cats.

I sat it down and stepped back, they attacked the tin like there would be nothing for them to eat for days...of course, that wasn't the case at all. Later, Bear strolled by, gave the cats a jealous glance and stopped to watch me.

"I suppose you want to eat too?" I scratched the big dog behind the ear and moved toward an old tall can we used to store our dog food in and pried off the lid. Using the scoop that was laying on the top, I placed the food into the dog's large pan.

As Bear began eating, I sat on the steps, just beyond our little area, the rain continued to fall and drip from the awning. I watched the drops as each danced into the little dry cracks in the grass, seemingly soaking into the ground like a sponge.

As the wet ground drank the life-giving rain into itself, I couldn't help thinking that I was a lot like the ground. For me though, it was information that I was soaking up...information of the feminine persuasion.

But soaking up the information wasn't the only thing; it was what else was happening that was most troubling to me. Along with the normal day-to-day happenings that I performed without nary a thought, it was as though I have done each item countless thousands of times. It was the little things that seemed to cause me concern...like when I would say things without thinking, and they would have come from my mind and be so hopelessly feminine of a response. It seemed to be happening more and more each day that I remained in this body.

Now too, I have been having steady glimpses of Nicole's past, little pieces of information fed into my subconscious mind. Troubling as these thoughts were, the more they bubbled to the surface, the more they seemed as though they were of my own past. Playtime as a little girl, childhood toys, my favorite dress, the smell of Blaine's cologne...each filtered into my mind, then became entangled with my own male thoughts. More on top of more until there is seemingly less room for those of my former life. In all aspects of life, I was becoming Nicole.

And it scared the hell out of me!

I slowly stood and watched the little droplets of rain as they danced upon a puddle, each drop an individual and yet together they gather merged to become one. I smiled, thinking how much I've become like that rain and puddle. Memories from Nicole dropping into me...were becoming who I am.

With a sigh, I slowly climbed back up the stairs and went inside, returning to my sink full of dishes. Back to the motherly life for me...until only God knows when.



** 8 **

I tried to listen to the radio with Dad, but I kept drifting off to sleep. I finally got up and nudged my father-in-law's leg. "It's getting late, we should be heading to bed." He sat up and nodded as I shuffled off toward the bathroom for a quick shower. It's funny...as a man; you could have counted the minutes of a "quick shower" on one hand. Now though, a quick shower for me took as much as a half-hour...though with the drought on like it had been, probably fifteen minutes.

I finished and had my hair wrapped up and robe on, when I met him in the hallway finally heading to bed. "Goodnight Hun," he said as he walked into his bedroom and closed the door. I entered my room and slowly removed my robe. Gathering up my lightest nightgown, I slipped it over my head and crawled into bed. It was late, the hands on the alarm showing it nearing midnight. Scooting into the middle of the bed, I pulled a hair band from my nightstand and began placing my hair into a ponytail, once done; I reached out and shut off the light. Using only a sheet for a blanket, I settled down into the soft bed. For several quiet moments I laid listening to the rain and low growling of each rumble of thunder. The soft flicker of lightning illuminated the room enough that I found myself studying the image of my smiling husband.

"What had drawn him to Nicole, this woman I had become?" I wondered to myself as I rolled to face the image. Little flashes of memory danced through my mind, much like the pulsing lightning of the storm that loomed outside.

I could actually remember meeting him during my senior year of high school, his parents had just moved into the area and purchased a farm outside of town. I had lived in town on a small corner lot where First Avenue and Ohio met. It was strange thing for a city girl like me, to be attracted to a farm boy. But I was...hopelessly and truly smitten with him.

I remember how much my parents fought about dating of all things, a farmer, yet I was determined that Blaine was "The One!" We continued to date throughout that summer. In the fall, when Blaine headed off to college, to attend Purdue to study Agriculture...I thought I would just die. My parents however, were happy that fate had seemed to place some distance between us.

It didn't take much time for the memories to filter in of how sad I had been when he left...and how happy I had been when he finally returned.

He asked me to marry him on Christmas Eve, 1939...and by spring of 1940, we were married. I inhaled deeply, my heart fluttered with excitement as the thoughts of the wedding and how beautiful it had been, entered my mind.

I recalled that the entire day had been spectacular! Everything was perfect from the breakfast meal with my parents and family...to the evening, where I threw off the thin veneer of girldom and entered that which only women know. "I had lost my virginity to you that night." I whispered to his picture with a coy, knowing smile.

I could still feel his kisses as they danced across my lips on our wedding night, down my neck and onto my young breasts. Oh the things he did to me that night created such a pleasure that caused me to shudder with a strange passion, wetting me in my nether region in a way I had never had done before. "Well...in a way my male mind had never experienced", I thought with a smile.

His kisses assailed my soft nipples until they were stiff and rigid as his own wonderful maleness, his hand pleasuring me down below until I was in such a weakened state that I begged him to impale with his penis. Still, he wasn't ready...yet! I remember his kisses trailing downward onto my stomach until he could burrow into the soft curls nestled between my legs.

His mouth...what he did to me with his mouth was nothing short of exquisite! He held me writhing beneath him, his face buried between my thighs, my knees shaking with so much passionate energy that I thought I would explode with arousal. His tongue penetrating me, pushing me well beyond my nineteen year old experiences. I wanted him, and I wanted him now!

My knees were up; I was caressing his side with my silky thigh. He rose up, climbing to my face and kissing me. I was about to explode with desire as I gently worked my way out from under him...this time rolling him onto his back.

I opened up my eyes, shaking off those thoughts and looked at my clock, it was going on one. With a trembling start, I removed my hand from my breast and wiped the perspiration from my upper lip. Embarrassed, I also removed my other hand from between my thighs, and placed both above the sheet. In the light, both of my nipples were standing like little sentential's upon the gentle mounds of my breasts. I flattened out my legs and took several deep breaths to cleanse my body of the erotic feelings that were coursing throughout my veins.

I rolled over to my side, shocked that I had let Nicole's memories create such an arousal in me. I closed my eyes and tried to force myself to sleep...but even with my eyes closed. I could still remember that evening of play, as though it was only yesterday. I sighed as I recalled the feeling of the hair upon his chest, my subtle tonguing of his own tiny nipples. Kissing his stomach and lowering my own naked body beneath the blankets of my memory, and performing an act upon his penis that would embarrassed him for years to come...yet one which I knew I would perform the first night I would see him again, hopefully with better results.

As I lay there quietly listening to the rumble of distant thunder, I found myself fondly recalling of how the kissing had brought him into a rigid tower. In my minds eye, I could see how tiny my hand looked as I gently caressed his penis' stiffening length. I remembered leaning forward, my hair cascading around my face, shrouding him...and erotically tonguing the bulbous tip.

I had no sooner began a slow decent upon his penis when he stiffened up and began to ejaculate into my mouth. I laughed to myself as I remembered coughing and gagging amid his apologetic pleas. To my young mind, I could only think of what I had done as some sort of conquering thing. Feeling the power in that single act as something to behold for an entire lifetime...and knowing I could cause that act with almost anything I did to him.

I could kiss him on the mouth in a very special way; each time would make him weak in his knees, causing an erection every single time. It didn't stop with that...there were other things I could do. Sometimes just a simple act of sitting down in his lap would cause him an erection, if I combined that with those kisses, much more could happen which would end up causing the change of his clothing.

Those wonderfully naughty little things I learned early on, while we were still dating. Each enabled me to end our dates by caressing him in some way or other until he lost complete control...yet somehow, almost impossibly, I managed to maintain my virginity the entire time. There was some perverse youthful pleasure we both received when I would push him too far, yet it would keep us coming back for more...every chance we got.

Then came that night of our wedding, while I was busy at the end of the bed, coughing, gagging and throwing up his seed from my mouth. He kept apologizing as he rubbed my back and held my hair from my face. As sickening as it all was, we ended up laughing about it and began our kissing once again. Again the controlling power I was feeling brought me to a weakness as my special kisses were used to bring him to an erection. He then showed me a power of his own, as he gently rolled me onto my back and placed himself between my thighs.

Our play had created such wetness in me that he slid inside of me without much effort, penetrating me deeply and causing me to gasp with excitement. He began slow and steady then as he gained confidence, he pistoned into me with his youthful spirit.

Even before I could think about protection or pregnancy, he showed me what true power was like. My ministrations upon him were nothing more than play, while his were all about life and future. Our future. As his seed pulsed into me, what happened over the next few seconds, brought to mind that he could create life inside my womb...which in that instance, came to pass during one of those playful little trysts. During the spring of 1941, our son Ben was born.

Throughout that summer our little family was content and happy, we moved to the farm in late July and enjoyed the fall with his dear father. As Thanksgiving fell across the land, little did we know that the shadow of war loomed upon the horizon.

Then came Pearl Harbor. Blaine, like many other angry American men, enlisted and went to boot camp. While he was furloughed, just prior to being sent into Europe...we conceived again.

Ashley was born in August 1942. Sadly, she was gone by September. More and more of Nicole's memories filtered through the pages of my mind, some good, some bad, each building upon others until I could barely find any of my old self inside, if he still existed at all.



** 9 **

I awoke with a start. Sitting up, I glanced toward the window. It was very early; the sun was still unable to penetrate the morning sky. I could no longer sleep and decided it was useless to try. Sighing heavily, I decided to just go ahead and begin my day, albeit it quite earlier than normal.

"Normal?" I said to myself with a laugh. This normal had been happening for the better part of the last two months. Each day took me further from that person who I once had been, a man who was rapidly falling into the distant past as each morning dawned anew. I studied the calendar on my wall, trying to remember that first day when I arrived...I could not...well not clearly, it seemed like ages ago.

With a sigh I yawned and stood up, stretching in a very feminine way. I reached out to pick up my robe, my unfettered breasts swung. I gently folded my arm to allow for support. It was strange to me; looking down and seeing these feminine appendages upon my chest...they were almost alien. And yet...to not have them there...seemed almost as alien of a thought as if I were to contemplate growing a third eye. I had grown so used to having breasts that they had become pushed far back into my mind, becoming nothing more than vessels for an infant's sustenance...or a lovers tender play.

I rolled my eyes and slipped the robe over my shoulders, quickly tying and trapping them in place. I pushed my feet into my slippers and slowly made my way around the bed, I headed toward the bathroom...I had a very urgent need that could wait no more.

I quietly entered the bathroom. It still felt odd for me to sit to urinate, especially after spending thirty years standing to pee...and yet, with each day it became less and less bothersome, almost natural. After finishing my morning toiletries, I washed my hands and headed out to the kitchen to get an early start on coffee and to make breakfast.

It was still much too early to begin breakfast, so I ended up only starting the coffee. I had never really been a fan of the dark drink, now though, I found myself liking it more and more. Another residue of Nicole's persona bubbling to the surface of my mind, it would seem. Once I had the grounds in the little holder, I reassembled it and plugged it into the outlet. As it percolated, I stepped outside to see about the morning paper.

It was no longer raining, but those rains from last evening had created a strange fog across the fields and puddles collected in the driveway in numerous areas. It was considerably cooler outside and felt quite refreshing compared to the last few weeks, I thought as I slowly made my way back toward the house with the paper tucked under my arm. As I walked, our barn cat pranced and danced around my feet causing me to smile.

I walked toward the barn and gently pushed the door aside. Resting quietly in the darkened corner was an automobile. "The Plymouth?" I said to the cat. "You don't care do you?" I laughed as I walked closer and leaned against the wall.

My eyes were trying to adjust to the early morning light, from what I could tell, it was either black or deep blue. I made a mental note to return after the sun was up and see what held my husband's attention more than me.

I stepped back out into the morning fog; the house was eerily shrouded within its cloud. Slowly pulling the door closed, I turned and headed toward the back door.

Upon entering the house, I placed the paper at Dad's spot and glanced toward the clock on the wall...quarter past five in the morning. I meandered back into the bedroom and readied myself for the day, by the time I returned to the kitchen, the coffee was done. Pouring myself a cup, I glanced up toward the clock. It would be almost forty-five minutes before anyone else would be awake...just enough time for me to take a quick morning walk to re- energize myself for the day. I found myself smile. Since becoming a woman, I seemed to take great enjoyment in the little moments of quiet time alone that mornings like this provided.

I picked up a drying-towel from the counter and quietly left the house again, this time with my coffee in hand. I made my way down the path, past the barns and toward the woods. It was very eerie, as it was still shrouded from view with fog. I knew where I was headed, even though I had never really been there in this body...I knew of a small bench Blaine had built just for Nicole to sit. She had always referred to it as "my special place", Blaine and Dad called it Nicole's spot and Benny called it Mommy's bench. I knew of it now as my spot of solace, a place where I could be alone and think.

The bench was created by a four foot log split in half, actual bark was still on the underside while both the back and seat had been sanded considerably, then lacquered with several coats of a clear exterior type of varnish.

I ran my hand along its smooth surface, damp from the fog. Using the drying towel, I wiped dry a spot on the bench for me to quietly sit and reflect and enjoy my coffee. Crossing my leg at the knee, I watched a bird as it danced upon the lower branches of a tree. As it flew away, I sighed deeply, my thoughts recalling what wonderful memories of Nicole's had been deposited into my mind just the night before.

I smiled, as I spied not far away, the shadow of a deer as it picked its way through the woods, my mind recalling how Benny helped the fawn. I sat back and enjoyed the peaceful moment, listening to the myriad of sounds as they leached out of the fog. Above me, the sky began to lighten slightly with the morning sun...this was just what I needed this morning, a chance to recharge myself for the long day ahead. A quiet moment lost in thought, both my own and Nicole's.

I sighed and straightened my dress, and lazily danced my foot in time with the crickets and early morning birds. This had been Nicole's favorite place on the farm...well, unless she was lying alongside of her husband. Now, it was mine.

Something far off seemed to call; I cocked my head in the direction and listened closer. There it was again, I thought. It was as though it was a whisper carried upon a breeze. My heart began to race; I fearfully glanced at the gray shadows of the woods. Someone else was here!

"Who are you? Show yourself!" I demanded the trespasser.

Beyond my vision a gray form began to take shape, "Who's there?" I asked as my throat tightened.

The form grew darker and larger, as if they were walking toward me. "John?" I hopefully whispered.

The figure came to a halt before me; it was nothing more than a gray shadow. "Who...who are you?" I stammered with fear.

"Ahhh...you've surprised us Mr. Kemplar," the deep voice said.

"Kemplar?" I asked before realizing that it had been my former name.

"How easily you've forgotten," he quietly said, "I've been sent to retrieve you by the Guardians."

My mind began to recall the day I had been sent to this place, "The Guardians...I...I remember them. But...but I thought I had to stay here until I came to know Love, Trust, and Faith?"

"And you have, Mr. Kemplar. You have surprised us all, surpassing our greatest expectations!" the voice replied. "Now, if you are ready, we will be going."

"Going? Going where?" I asked.

"Why...going home! Your home!" he replied, his voice showing little emotion.

"What about my magical powers?" I asked, remembering what caused me to be sent here. "I thought I was to be punished?"

"The punishment has ended. Your powers will return, once YOU return," the shadowy form said quietly.

"Then Nicole will return to this body? Will she remember being me?" I asked, assuming that I had already figured it out.

"Nicole?" the deep voice questioned. "Oh, you refer to the woman whose body you inhabit?"

I hesitantly nodded. "Will she remember being me?"

The form folded his arms. "Do you remember the day when you arrived into the form of Nicole?"

"S..Somewhat," I replied.

"Do you remember your father-in-law giving you aspirins?"

I thought back, I did recall almost causing him to spill the water he offered...then I remembered him complaining about being my aspirin caddy. I replied to him with a nod.

"Nicole's life ended at that very moment...she had been having headaches for almost two weeks prior to that day...the woman you became, died of a brain aneurism."

I slumped back into the bench with shock, "What then, happened to my body while I've been here?"

"You have been in storage, locked away in a room, suspended until the day you would return." The figure stepped closer; his face was one of those who sentenced me earlier. "We're actually quite surprised that you recovered enough to impress us in such a short amount of time," he said with a smile.

He placed his hands behind his back, "Are you ready?"

I stood slowly, my mind still recoiling from his news. "Wha...what happens when I leave?"

"You will reenter to your body, your slate will be wiped clean so to speak, and above all, your magic will be returned." He smiled and stepped back, with his arm he motioned for me to pass.

I started to walk, then hesitated. "What will become of the boy and his grandfather?"

The Guardian looked toward the thick fog, as if he were thinking. "They will continue on the farm..."

"Why do I have a feeling that you are holding back something?" What will happen to Nicole since she died?" I studied him, paying close attention to his stone-faced expression.

"She died once, she'll die again," he replied flatly. "Only she'll be found here in the woods."

I thought about Benny, he had a deep love for his family...he would be devastated. "Wh...Who finds Nicole?"

The Guardian again looked away, "It doesn't matter...now really, does it?"

"It matters to me!" I demanded, my small foot stamping the wet grass beneath them. "Who finds me?"

For the first time the Guardian sighed and actually looked perplexed, "It's not important."

I stepped closer, trying to gauge his answer by his eyes. "It's the boy. Benny finds me dead, doesn't he!"

"Nicole died in August 1944...that's all that should matter." He sternly looked at me. "We're wasting time. We need to return!"

"Benny's father is away, fighting in Germany, if he dies...what will happen to the boy?" I asked, my mind racing for answers to protect my son. "His grandfather is elderly, too old to care for the boy very long! W..what happens if I don't go?"

"Impossible, you must leave!" he demanded.

"What happens if I don't go?" I asked again, repeating myself.

"Then your body, Anderson Kemplar...dies."

"What about the Nicole body...what happens if I stay?" I pressed my question further.

"You will become trapped in her world, forced to live in her body, for as long as you would have lived in your own." He frowned. "This is not what the panel of Guardians had decided was to be your fate, you HAVE to return!"

"I don't HAVE to do anything," I calmly replied. "I can't take Benny from his mother...even if I have to be that mother!"

"You will lose your powers..." The Guardian calmly replied. "Can you turn your back on that?"

I looked down, my feminine form reminding me of what I was contemplating. "I can't do that to my son...I love him to much to put him through losing his very mother!"

"Your son?" The Guardian folded his arms and studied me with a puzzled look upon his face, "You've come to believing that he's yours?" He looked down, "I guess we enveloped you too completely...but alas, it was needed to allow you to fit in." He studied me for several seconds, without saying a thing. Finally he shook his head in disbelief; "You'd give up everything...for a boy?"

I pushed a lock of my hair out of my eyes. "No...but I'd give up everything for my son."

"There will be no return, you will be forever sealed from your magic and the Guardians," he replied. There was mild shock evident in his voice. "You'll be forced to bend to the ways of women...as bearer of the young."

"I've survived here this long...a lifetime as Nicole is but a small price to pay for what I feel for this family." I tried to remain calm, yet my voice trembled, fearful that they would still force me to return. "If I am to conceive others as a woman...so be it, as long as they keep their mother!"

"Very well, I will report back to the Guardians of your wishes." He turned and slowly drifted into the fog and out of view.

I waited several seconds, still unbelieving of myself for asking to remain as Nicole for a lifetime. The weight of my decision began to settle into my mind...I have sentenced myself this time...sentenced by my own hand, to a lifetime of being a female!

As my mind reeled from my decision, I saw movement before me. Fearing it was once again a Guardian returning, I stood fast, intending to fight if need be.

"I...I won't go back with you..." I whispered defiantly to the shadow, as it loomed closer and closer to me. "I have to stay put, my family needs me!"

"Mommy?" the voice asked. "Are you here?"

"Benny? Over here at the bench, Benny!" I replied, elated to recognize the voice as that of my son. I smiled as he walked into view and hugged me tightly.

"Morning Mommy!" he said as he grinned up at me.

I looked toward where the Guardian had entered the fog, and then back to my son. "How about we go back home and fix some breakfast!"

He had returned to find his mother, though in this reality...she was alive. Together we walked into the fog, my hand holding that of my son's.



** 10 **

"You have returned alone?" the voice spoke from above.

"Mr. Kemplar...wanted to stay. He...said that it was for Benny," replied the man who had met Nicole in the woods as he took his seat among the Guardians. "He wanted to give all of this...his life up!"

"He threw it all away...his magical abilities, his life in this world...for a boy?" another voice asked in surprise.

The man shrugged his shoulders, "No...I honestly think he gave everything up for...for Love."

Another voice spoke up, a decidedly female voice. "More specifically, he gave up all of this world for the love of his family. I told you that it would happen!"

"You did..." another voice agreed. "Returning his powers was supposed to become his reward...since he has turned his back on his magical abilities, what will we do to reward him?"

The female voice responded, "I believe you should rephrase it as, what will we do to reward...her?"

"I am confident that we'll come up with something suitable," the final voice replied among the agreement of the others.



** 11 **

I removed the fresh biscuits from the stove and placed them upon the iron trivet to prevent ruining my countertop, when Grandpa John stepped up the stairs and stood on the top step. Bear barked a couple of times and Dad shooed the dog away. "Now you go on, I don't have time to play fetch with you." He laughed while kicking off one of his muddy work boots. He reached through the screen door and hung his worn Stetson on the hook just inside the door.

"Morning Nicole, chores are done," he called through the screen. "Breakfast about ready? Smells good enough to eat."

"Will be in a few minutes...you got plenty of time to clean those muddy boots." I smiled at his complement and replied without looking.

"Benny-boy up yet?" he asked as he began knocking the mud from his boot against the top step of the porch.

"He was up early this morning, early enough we took a walk back to the woods," I replied as I stirred the cubed ham, potatoes and onions in my old iron skillet.

I quickly glanced back toward the door as Grandpa John struggled to remove his other boot. "Well, where's the boy hiding then?"

"I sent him down to the root cellar for a jar of strawberry preserves," I replied. "He'll only be a minute or two."

"We having biscuits?" He asked. I could almost imagine the smile on his face through the tone of his voice. "I love your biscuits...hope you made enough!"

"I made plenty," I laughed, "more than enough to satisfy you."

"That good, because we'll be needing a few extra," he replied as he knocked the mud from his other boot.

I laughed; Dad was always teasing me in some way. "Oh? And why's that?" I asked.

"I didn't tell you?" His voice replied in mock shock.

"No...I'd have remembered if you spoke to me about anything important," I giggled as I stirred our breakfast. It's mixture of smells filling the kitchen with a wonderful aroma.

"Well..." he began. "We'll be needing to set an extra plate."

I glanced back over my shoulder, watching him through the screen. "What did you say?"

"I said, your going to need to set out an extra plate for breakfast!"

"Oh, who'll be eating with us? Who did you invite this time?" I replied, turning back toward my cooking, still stirring the ham and potatoes.

"Hi Honey," I heard the deep voice speak. I hesitated, the spoon held motionless in my hand. The voice, I recognized the voice...but dare I turn?

The door opened, behind it entered a tall man and Grandpa John. I turned, the spoon falling from my hand onto the stove. "B...Blaine?" I whispered, frozen in place by the unbelieving shock of seeing my husband.

"I..I'm home Nicole...I've been discharged!" He sat down his duffle and smiled.

I could no longer hold my body still; I raced across the room meeting him halfway. "God I missed you, Nicole!" he whispered hoarsely in my ear, crushing me in his loving embrace.

"When...how long did you know?" I cried, tears running down my elated face. I looked over his shoulder at Dad who was smiling, "You old stinker! I bet you knew about this for a long time!"

"We found out last week that we were being mustered out, I couldn't get to a phone in time...I thought when we got to Dix, I'd be able to call."

I kissed him, savoring the familiar smell that I never realized I had been missing for so long. He held me out, away from his body. "My God, you look wonderful!" he said, crying.

At that moment, Benny returned up the stairs and stopped. "Blaine, you remember your big son?"

His eyes widened, "Benny?" he whispered softly. He looked toward me. "When I left, he was just a baby!"

"Benny, this is your daddy!" The introduction wasn't really needed as Blaine scooped up the boy and kissed his cheek.

"I leave and your a tiny baby...come back and your a young man!" He hugged him tight and swept me into his hug as well. "I'm back home and I'm never leaving you again!"

"You're done...for good?" I cried.

"Once I get out of this uniform, I'm not putting it back on!" He removed his hat and dropped it onto his son's head. Turned and kissed me deeply, causing my knees to weaken. "Now, how about we have some of that wonderful smelling breakfast...we can talk later," he whispered.

I reluctantly returned to the stove, wiping happy tears with my fingertips as I stirred the mixture and turned off the burner. I felt him come up behind me, his large hands circling my waist. As his thumbs caressed the underside of my breasts he whispered softly into my ear. "And as for you, Nicole. I'm planning on reintroducing myself proper later tonight!"

I glanced up at him, my love for him swelling inside my heart. "Promise?"

He grinned; it was one of those smiles that drove me wild. "Count on it!"

With that, we gleefully sat down at the table...once again our happy family complete.

As we prayed, I silently thanked the Guardians for allowing me to stay and pick up my life where Nicole had left off. There was something to be said, I thought as I watched my husband and son's smiling faces.

I was happy now, much happier even without the powers of my former life...euphoric at being a wife and mother, more so than I ever thought possible. I'm content here on this small farm with my family...I'll make my home. I'll accept whatever comes my way, succumbing to whatever life chooses to leave at our door. I glanced across toward Blaine smiling, laughing and talking with his own father, knowing that Nicole's love for him was now as much a part of me as anything I had ever known. I owed her that much for the life she left behind, I was content to live it as though she were still on this earth.

As I sat enjoying the playful banter between my husband, son and father-in law, Blaine glanced over at me quickly and winked.

Somehow during the past several weeks, in heart and soul, Nicole's life had enveloped me, completing me in her image...and I didn't care! I smiled back at him and looked down at my plate, no longer hungry...my thoughts raced, thinking of how my husband and I would reintroduce ourselves when the sun went down. Those images that passed through my mind set my heart in a momentary flutter.

I quickly glanced toward Benny, inwardly I wondered what he would think of a little brother or sister...for, I knew on this night one certain husband and wife would rekindle that magic...as only a man and woman could...again...and again...and again.

The End anon_allsop@hotmail.com