The Awakening
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The Awakening
By Gabi
Chapter I
"Michael, wake up! Wake up, Michael!" a voice called through the veil of
dreams.
Or in this case, from the other side of my bedroom door. Slowly I opened
my eyes...staring at the ceiling. A ceiling fan blowing cool air down
over my face, was rotating above on the ceiling. Sunlight was beaming
through the slits in my window blinds, and I could hear the birds
chirping. It was a perfect morning, and I had lots of plans today.
Getting up I searched around my mess of a room for some clothes to wear,
some clean some not so clean. I looked at the alarm clock which read
seven-thirty in the morning, which gave me plenty of time to get ready
for school. I pulled the cord on the blinds to raise them...and peered
out into the morning sunlight just shining brightly outside the window.
The sky was a brilliant baby blue, with a few puffy white clouds drifting
through the cool air high above.
I could hear a slight breeze drift past the window, causing the siding of
the house to creak and shutter. I could feel the warm heat from outside
pressing through the glass by putting my hand against the window. I
smiled and thought about my plans for the day...I was going to see my
girlfriend, both at school and afterwards we had something planned
together. I unlocked and opened my bedroom door, stepping into the
hallways...and I could feel cool air blowing over me...it seemed my
mother had opened the windows in the house. My room was a bit stuffy,
maybe I should have opened the window. But I closed my door behind me as
I walked down the hallways, the grey carpet shining under the sunlight
that streamed through the hallway windows.
Walking into the kitchen my mother was bustling about preparing something
for me to eat, before she went to work. She was a corporate officer, and
was busy at work until late at night, so I cherished mornings because me
and my mother were close, and it was really the only time I got to spend
with her.
"Sleep well?" I asked.
"Decent enough. Would you like scrambled eggs with this toast?" she asked
absent mindedly.
"Sure..." I replied. Eggs were one of my favorites. I figured someday
they'd give me a heart attack and be the death of me. But for now I'm
young and healthy, so fuck cholesterol.
She seemed distracted today, as if she had a lot of things on her mind.
Nevertheless, she had work and other things to do.
"Why'd you miss school yesterday?" she inquired.
"What are you talking about? Yesterday was Sunday...there's no school on
weekends," I said questioningly.
"Hon, what are you talking about? Yesterday was Monday," she replied.
"I swear to god I don't know what you mean. Today can't fucking be
Tuesday!" I fumed.
"Well Michael, I don't know what happened but make sure it doesn't happen
again," she answered before setting my plate in front of me.
My mother walked off without another word. I sat confounded...yesterday?
Yesterday? What the fuck was I doing yesterday then? Last thing I
remember is going to bed on Sunday...and today I just woke up...and today
is...is Tuesday? Well what the fuck happened, did I sleep through all of
Monday and into Tuesday? But I had my alarm set...I couldn't have slept
thirty-five hours straight! I ate quickly, profusely even...quite normal
I suppose since I didn't fucking eat all yesterday. Unless I slept walk
into the kitchen and got myself my meals.
When I finished I dumped the dirty plate into the sink and walked through
the living room into the hallway that connected the two bedrooms in the
house. Except instead of going straight ahead into my own room I took a
left...walking quickly in the breezy hallways...the air was fresh and
crisp. I have to admit I feel better than ever...not depressed as usual.
I feel a little hyper actually, come to think of it. I walked into my
mothers bedroom and found her applying her makeup at the vanity.
"Mom, I can't remember anything from yesterday," I said a little worried.
"What do you mean?" She replied, as if not sure whether to be worried or
angry because it was a joke or a poor excuse.
"I...I'm not sure. I must have slept through the entire day."
"According to your father you slept until three in the afternoon, then
you got up." She said.
"What!?" I said in an exasperated manner, I was suddenly getting a
headache and I put my hand to the side of my face as if it comfort
myself.
"Yes dear...your father said you looked dazed and confused. Said you
didn't talk much and just walked around the house looking at
things...especially pictures and what not; spent two hours in the
bathroom and then went back to bed." This came as a shock to me...what
she just told me couldn't be true.
"I...I don't fucking remember any of it!" I replied.
"Well...do we have something to worry about?" she asked.
"Fuck, I don't know!" I huffed as I stormed out.
I went into the bathroom and took my night shirt and my exercise shorts
off, which I wore in stay of Pajamas. I looked in the mirror...and I
looked relatively normal. I didn't feel weird or anything. I felt a
little off, although I wasn't sure...as if something was bothering me but
I couldn't put my finger on it. I was kind of scrawny...always had been.
I was five foot six, and weighed a hundred and thirty pounds (Authors
note: This is how I looked pre-transition...Michael is modeled after me
appearance and personality wise, lol). The bathroom light bathed the
sandstone colored tiles of the bathroom in a warm glow. My father was
already at work, and I was an only child so I got this bathroom all to
myself.
I noticed my acne seemed to be going away...I mean I never had it
bad...but I had enough to be distracting and a real burden to my self
esteem. My girlfriend overlooked the condition obviously...
"Oh fuck!" I blurted out.
Damn it to hell, Claire is going to be raging pissed! If I never left the
house that means I stood her up! I jumped into the shower...my penis
bouncing around distractingly. Looking down at it I just kind of
smirked...I usually didn't notice it all that much unless I was
uh...pleasuring myself. I guess today was just one of those peculiar
days, although I still didn't feel too bad. Besides the bizarre/bad chain
of events taking place I feel a little bit happy even. At least I can be
glad that I have an emotional high to keep my spirits up.
The shower went quick since I never really gave a damn about enjoying it.
I was practical about it and that's it. I stopped at the sink, to observe
my extremely patch facial hair covering my chin. I didn't have any
anywhere else. Finishing I took a final look in the mirror...I just saw
myself...Michael...a fifteen year old boy. I put a towel around myself
and walked out of the bathroom into my bedroom. I found my black Motorola
Razr m(cellphone) sitting on top my television. I picked it up and
unfolded it.
It read, '9 missed calls.'
"Damn!" I said.
After checking it over I realized all the calls were from Claire. She
called nine times and I didn't answer any of them. What is going on? What
happened to me for that matter? I picked up the phone and speed dialed
her from my phonebook.
"Hello?" I hear a cute voice answer. It was Claire.
"Hey..." I replied.
"Michael? I saw it was your number on the caller ID." She said
nonplussed.
"Yeah...um, sorry about...yesterday." I told her.
"Oh yeah? I was worried sick. What exactly happened?"
"Well, I'm not sure."
"What! Did you fucking stand me up after school?" she said angrily.
"No! I swear to god. I was....sick," I lied, or maybe it wasn't a lie for
that matter.
"Sick? Did your dog eat your homework too?" She mocked.
"No, I'm serious. I swear to God," I said defensively.
She was silent for a while.
When her voice resumed she sounded a bit worried. "So...are you okay?"
"Um, I think so. Evidently I was passed out for an entire day," I said
unsure of what she'd think of the reply.
"Passed out all day? Why didn't you go to the hospital?" she said.
"I don't know, ask my parents. It's not as if I could have gotten myself
there on my own, now is it?" It sounded a little irritated, but hey...I
was worried about yesterday and I didn't want to have to be berated by my
girlfriend afterwards.
"Well...I hope it's not serious. Either way I've got to get to school.
See you there...I hope." And with that she hung up.
I don't know why she's so pissed...I mean I've never lied to her before.
Why wouldn't she believe me now? I got dressed in a hurry and put my
wallet, keys and phone in my pockets. I drove a bright red Chevrolet
Monte Carlo Z-34. Sometimes I loved it...sometimes I wished I had a
cooler car. I started the car and was on my way to school.
I found a parking space...I had time to spare so I just chilled for a bit
before getting out and walking to school. I went to my locker, put all my
shit in it and was off on my way to my first class. Said hello to some of
my friends, some random guy did a sort of upwards nod with his head when
he saw me. Guys are so strange.
"What?" I said aloud.
Some people close to me looked at me questioningly, but went on about
this business with puzzled expressions when they realized I wasn't paying
any attention to them. I stopped in the middle of the hallway. Guys are
strange? Where did that come from? I swear to god that didn't even seem
like my own thought. I am a guy...why am I being so weird. I've never
felt that way before...but whatever. I have to get to class...so putting
one foot in front of the other I continued and made it to class with a
few minutes to spare. I took my seat and talked to some of the people I
knew around me until class started. The lecture went as usual...boring
and tedious. The teacher was in his sixties and couldn't teach to save
his life...evidently he didn't want to retire either. The door opened and
my friend walked in...late as usual. He took the empty seat next to me. I
waved and went back to attempting to listen to what the teacher was
saying.
"Psst...hey Mike. You okay?" he whispered.
"What?" I said only half paying attention to him.
"Come on man, you look a little gay that's all. You've got your legs
crossed like a girl," he said.
I looked down and realized I did. I uncrossed them looking a little
irritated. It was strange tho...at my age male students didn't cross
their legs at the knee, because evidently it was gay. Which caused me a
bit of grief since I basically never did that. I looked up at the clock
and realized we were only 5 minutes into class...damn..45 more minutes of
this crap.
I heard a bell ringing. But I seemed totally zonked...I was staring at
the chalkboard. Sitting in my seat...I started to come to, and pretty
soon Mike was shaking me.
"Come on, what the hells wrong with you!?" he said pulling me up out of
my seat.
"What?" I questioned.
"You've been acting weird for the past forty minutes." Mike said shaking
me a bit.
"huh?" I asked.
"Yeah, you starting acting like you didn't know who I was. Then you told
me you didn't know where you were."
"What? Class is over already!" I said crestfallen.
A little bit later I turned to Mike and asked, "Wait was I sleeping?"
"No man...after twenty minutes of being weird you just zoned out. Looked
totally vacant like you were brain dead," he replied.
The day was weird...first the forty missing minutes in my first class,
then in my second class everything was just fine. My third class was
almost over...I personally couldn't wait to get the fuck out of it and go
to lunch. I went down to the cafeteria and got my food and sat with
Claire. She was cute...brown hair and brown eyes, she was about 5'3 and
just under a hundred pounds, had a very petite build. She waved at me as
I walked over. Some of her friends were sitting at the table as well. We
talked for a bit, and then we discussed us and...yesterday. All of the
sudden everything went black.
I stopped and looked down...I had my trey in my hands and was getting
ready to dump it onto the trey return. I dropped it onto the return
conveyor belt which went through the wall into the dish room. I turned
around and the cafeteria was still full, I saw by the clock that twenty
minutes had passed...and now five minutes were left. Looking back at my
trey as it went along on the moving belt, I saw that most my food had
been eaten. And...I certainly felt full. I went back to my table, and
Claire and her friends waved at me as I drew closer. What was going on
now? I mean...they don't like me because they think I'm an asshole
boyfriend. Usually they just ignore me.
I sat down looking a little puzzled...and I felt a little dazed. My
thoughts were racing so fast I couldn't pick up on them, I felt the
beginnings of a migraine. Claire smiled at me as I sat down.
"Michael, I'm really glad we managed to work things out." She said. What
was she talking about, the last thing I remembered talking about was the
terrible weather we'd been having before today.
"Oh...well, um...I'm glad too." I felt pressure from the headache.
Claire smiled at me, she was talking, but all I saw was the lipgloss
sparkling on her lips.
"I like your lipgloss," I said out of the blue.
"Oh thanks! I'm glad you like it. I'll have to remember to buy more of
it." She said looking really pleased with herself. Except I certainly
wasn't pleased...I hadn't been planning to say that at all.
I realized I was thinking about it, and secretly wondering what color and
brand it was. I thought maybe I'd like to try it. But wait...this wasn't
right! Why in the world would I want to do that? I'm no fag. I suddenly
was feeling very frustrated, especially because deep down I was pleased
with the thought...as if somewhere in the recesses of my consciousness I
really liked lip gloss and wanted to wear it. I mean what in the world?
That wasn't met at all...I'm straight and I'm normal.
"Keep thinking that," a voice said in the back of my mind.
I paused...because now I was hearing voices. I didn't want Claire to
think I was crazy...so I didn't try to talk to myself out loud. But my
mind raced...with my thoughts...and some foreign thoughts as well.
"Who are you?" I thought silently to myself...willing it to wherever the
voice came from.
"I am you," it replied.
I panicked, because it's not everyday you have a conversation with
yourself mentally. Was I turning schizophrenic or something? What the
hell was going on with me?
The voice laughed at me, "Seems like you don't know yourself any longer
do you?"
I didn't answer it, instead I looked at Claire. "Hey sweetie, (I
paused...because I never said sweetie, or dear or anything cheesy and
feminine like that) what have we been talking about for the past twenty
minutes?" She looked puzzled.
"Well...we made up. I'm proud of you Mike, I was afraid you'd put up a
fight when I told you I wanted you to go to the musical this weekend,"
she said earnestly.
"Musical? Oh..." I trailed off because I didn't want to seem weird. I
sure as hell didn't want to see a musical but I couldn't remember the
past twenty minutes.
Suddenly I felt like maybe I would like to go see it, it would be
interesting to see something different for a change. The I paused that
thought...what the fuck?
"Don't mess up my plans," the voice from before said all of the sudden.
"What plans?" I spoke in thought.
"Your plans," it replied.
"These aren't my plans! I don't want to go to some gay ass musical," I
thought furiously.
"They are your plans. Quit fighting me Michael," it replied. I just
noticed that it vaguely sounded feminine.
I looked up and made some small talk with Claire and her friends so I
wouldn't just be sitting here oddly quiet. Thinking quickly I thought of
what to...er...say...inside my head so to speak.
"Excuse me? You parasite get out of my head!"
"I'm no parasite," it replied.
"You're trying to take over my life!" I thought angrily. If I had said it
out loud, it would have been a yell.
"I am you. This is our life. This is your life, this is my life," it
replied condescendingly.
"What? I'll fight you. I'm not going to this fucking musical. Not because
I just hate the idea, but more or less because I refuse to give in to
you!"
The entity as I thought of it now, seemed to bristle, "Don't fight me.
You won't win. You can't win you know. Just give in, make this easy on
yourself," it replied scathingly.
"Michael are you okay?" Claire asked, startling me from my deep thoughts.
"Yes," I replied with a smile.
The voice laughed and again spoke, "Michael? Michael Michael Michael," it
repeated mockingly.
"You're a figment of my imagination. I'm going crazy...that's all." I
thought back at it...if thinking back at it was the same as talking back
to someone outside of my head.
"Don't make me laugh...again. Michael doesn't exist!" it said mockingly.
"Yes I do! I'm here. You're the one who doesn't exist."
"Don't be a fool. I am you. More so than you are in fact," it replied.
"What kind of nonsense is that?" I thought in a pissed off manner.
"I'm the real you. This illusion named Michael is all a lie. You're more
fake than me...even though I'm just a figment of your imagination," it
replied.
"Excuse me? I am Michael. I was born March fourth, of Nineteen-eighty
six," I thought quietly.
"NO! Michael doesn't exist. It's a name on a birth certificate. It's a
social security number. It's a made up name. Made by your parents...this
is all a fake reality. Michael Clemens is a false persona forced on you
by outsiders. Outsiders such as your parents...and then when you have
doubts about yourself. They lie, and tell you who you are. Trying to
reinforce this lie!" It fumed, then suddenly it was gone. As if with an
audiple pop even, it just vanished.
I was again alone in my head...my thought still racing, but this time
they were completely my thoughts. The lunch bell rang, signaling that
lunch time was now over, and I had to get back to class.
"Michael...thanks again," Claire said, getting up from her seat.
"Oh, it was nothing," I thought. I was willing to call the whole thing
about the Musical off...more because I didn't want to hurt Claire. I was
furious, I felt like I was giving into it's demands.
"By the way Michael, you're really good with the girl talk. You surprised
me, thanks for being with me during lunch. I know you don't like to not
be with your friends. But I'm glad we got to spend the time together,"
she said, blushing a little while looking me in the eye.
"Girl talk! Oh my god, what did I say?" I said quietly.
"Huh? Don't mumble, I can't hear you," Claire said.
"Oh nothing sweetie." With that I walked away.
Sweetie? Damn it. I'm possessed by a demon...or I have a mental illness.
"I'm not an it. I am you," it said in calm tones.
"What...you're back already? I thought you were gone."
"I'm never gone. I'm you," it replied.
"I know! Quit repeating yourself," I shot back.
"You can ignore me and resist all you want. But I'll always be here...I'm
never going to go away," it said.
"Bullshit! I'll never give in!" I thought.
"Resistance is futile," it replied.
"Did you get that from Star Trek?" I questioned.
"Star Trek is my favorite television show," it answered.
"What! Star Trek is MY favorite television show. You on the other hand
can't have a favorite show, because YOU don't exist." I fumed and
spat...all within my mind of course.
"I am you. You are me," it replied...fading away once again.
The rest of the day I had plenty of time to think. I now know that it
seems to have an agenda. It also seems to have a personality all of it's
own. And it's an excellent liar. I kept thinking these things, but
secretly I was starting to doubt myself...and maybe think it was right.
"Stop that!" I screamed in my head.
"Stop what?" the voice said...seemingly fading back into being.
"You're the one making me doubt myself!" I accused.
"Me? I am you," it said getting stronger.
"Quit making me doubt myself! I'm normal. I swear!"
"No you're not. Ever since you hit puberty you started forming an
identity of your own. This is just a result of that," it said as calmly
as ever. But I could feel it getting stronger.
"I don't want to question my identity. I am who I am!" I argued.
"NO! YOU'RE NOT! I wouldn't exist if you were perfectly content with who
you are," it answered.
"There's nothing wrong with me."
"I agree," it said, now stronger than it had been before. I felt my
doubts intensify...and I fought back.
"NO! There's nothing wrong with me...you shouldn't exist," I raged.
"But I do exist," it said. Suddenly I felt a little weak...physically. It
kept growing stronger, as if feeding off my emotions. But I couldn't stop
being upset and angry. I was pissed!
"Stop it! Leave me alone!" I yelled.
It laughed. "No! I am reality. You can try to fight me. But you're gonna
lose. You might as well not even try."
It wasn't fading away now. It kept getting stronger...my skin felt
flushed. As if it was warming me from within. And my mind felt like a war
zone. A mental tug of war ensued...I feel like I'm being torn apart! Why
was it doing this?
Picking up on that thought, "Because you need it! I want to be happy," it
replied.
Suddenly I realized it was developing a distinctive voice in my
head...more defined than before. It sounded vaguely female. And...I
realized more and more throughout the day that it felt female. It's
presence stressed me out, and it didn't go away anymore. Now it was here
to stay evidently. Enticing me and seducing me, it was too strong to
deny.
It was now the end of the school day, and I was at my locker. I felt a
tap on the back, and I turned around to see Claire.
"Hey...Michael. Are you okay? You look worn out," she said, in a cute
voice that made me smile.
"I'm...fine," I said a little forced. I could never tell her about the
war raging in my head.
"Well...I thought I'd go home with you and hang out," she said.
"Oh, great. You can ride with me," I said, knowing that she didn't have a
car of her own.
The way home was nice, we talked a lot and I felt closer to her than I've
been for weeks. It was the first pause from my internal conflicts I'd had
all day. But the entity was still there, just as strong as before, but
not gaining strength. I pulled the car into the driveway and turned the
key, shutting off the engine. I walked into the house, and found a note
on the kitchen counter from my father. It basically informed me that he
wasn't going to be home for the night. He had a business trip, and had to
go out of town.
"My dad won't be coming home this afternoon," I told Claire.
"Oh...good! We have some time alone." She said the last bit in a sultry
tone that made me blush. She came up behind me wrapping her small arms
about my waist. She stood on her tip-toes and kissed my neck. I turned to
look at her, and she flipped her long brown hair over her shoulder. And
arched her back while looking at me. She kicked her sandals off, and
grabbed my hand...she padded on small bare feet towards the couch leading
me along with her.
She laid back on the couch, and pulled me next to her, spooning
her...cuddling closely. We laid like that silent for a long time...I
noticed a nearby clock...showing that thirty minutes had passed. I found
myself feeling a little light headed...and I could feel that presence
which had seemingly become a constant presence since the last encounter
with it. I suppose it really had become stronger...I questioned now
whether I would remain the dominant personality indefinitely. It seemed
so strange to consider that, since it seemed to me that this entity was
not another personality, and was not me. I shunned it and was afraid of
it.
"Michael...I want to know about us," Claire said softly.
"What do you mean, Claire?" I questioned.
"How do you feel about me?"
"I really care about you. We've been dating long enough that I've really
gotten to know you," I told her.
"Wow...that sounded romantic. You're a really good boyfriend...you know
that?" she said.
"I try to be," I said.
"You'll make a better girlfriend," the voice in my head said.
Once again I found myself wondering whether I should send myself to the
mental asylum.
"You're not schizo," it said after a pause.
"What do you mean?" I asked it.
"Like I said, I am you, you are me," it replied.
"I don't know what that means!" I said in my head, sounding internally
like a shout.
"You're a transsexual...and I'm the metaphor that represents that side of
you," it replied.
"I'll resist you, this is who I am, and who I am expected to be," I
replied sternly.
"No, I'll win. I am who you really are. It's sad that you've had to
develop multiple personalities to express it," it replied.
Claire touched my cheek, breaking my metal debate with...the entity that
had declared itself to be me.
"I love you Michael," she said, rubbing her cheek against mine.
"You hear that? She loves you. I think I like her..." the voice said
quietly in my head.
"You like her? She's my girlfriend!" I responded internally.
"Not for long, perhaps you'd better make peace with her, while you're
still in control of yourself so to speak," it said before going quiet.
"Claire, I love you too," I said.
"However there is something you need to know," I said, starting to draw
tears to my eyes.
"What?" she asked.
"I feel...different lately. I think I might be a transsexual," I told
her.
"A...a what? Michael!" she said looking panicked.
"A transsexual!" I said sobbing against her soft, small shoulder.
"Is...is it my fault? Am I not good enough? I don't know what a
transsexual is either..." Claire sobbed, her hot tears streaming down her
cheeks and onto the side of my neck.
We embraced and we pulled each other tighter. And I was scared, out of my
mind and I didn't know what was going to happen...and strangely I felt
the other side of me saddening as well, as if it was feeling my despair
as well. And I felt as if it was the one bringing the tears to my eyes,
because I never really cried before. I mean...this is so unlike me to
cry! And it bothered me I was crying like this...it signaled yet another
defeat at the hands of this...entity which claimed it was me as well.
"No! You're all I could have asked for. And I don't know what a
transsexual is either. All I know is that, I've been living a lie for so
long. And maybe that's a cliché but I don't know how much longer I can
fight it!" I said, lifting my head off her shoulder, to look her square
in her beautiful blue eyes, which were swimming in tears of their own.
"Michael...I'm no lesbian, heck I'm not even bi. But I love you so
much...I'll support you if this is that important to you," she said.
"I just feel like I'm losing you somehow," she sulked.
"Don't worry...my victory will be quick and painless once I take over,"
the voice in my mind said.
It seemed stronger yet again, as if it was a force to it's own. I stroked
Claire's blonde locks and kissed her softly on the lips...the whole time
feeling as though I wasn't wholly the one coordinating and compelling the
actions. I felt Claire loosening and knew she was drifting off to sleep
in my arms, and feeling sleepy I knew I was going to sleep as well. Then
a black fog overtook my conscious and I drifted into sleep.
Turbulent dreams spotted my sleep. I felt as if I was coming to...but
knew I was still fast asleep. I was now fully conscious though...as if in
a lucid dreaming state.
"you're dreaming. And I am here," the voice said. I noticed the voice now
had a distinct sound and personality to it. It was female...it sounded
like a girl my age, and she sounded cute.
"Why am I having this dream," I said.
"I am you. I have said this many times yet it's time that I explained
since my victory is nearly at hand. I felt you should know why things are
this way before I dominate your psyche fully. You are a transsexual, and
you've been hiding it. You were ashamed of your feminine side. You were
humiliated at the prospect of having a female side. You were afraid of
being female, trapped in a male body. But, as you may have guessed; you
are a girl trapped in a boys body. I am the real you, which you have
repressed. And me winning or taking control, is actually just you finally
coming out to yourself. Perhaps you've repressed yourself so strongly
that you forced that side of you to take on a personality of it's own in
your sub-conscious, a personality that became me. And as your male
façade/persona has weakened over the years, I have been gaining strength.
You never stood a chance. That's why as I always said, you never stood a
chance. I'm sorry that you might lose Claire over all this. However, she
will just have to accept you as you are. Or she'll have to go on her own
separate way in life...sad, but then again that's reality. It's sad that
this transsexual issue has had to be a struggle. I wish you would have
surrendered years ago, so that this could have been taken care of then.
It has to be this way, because I hate being a boy. I don't want to be a
man, and I know I can't make it having to be male. I am female, and it's
about time I dealt with that fact. It would have been best if you just
accepted the fact and got it done and over with. However, all is
well...and I have finally triumphed. We are one, finally."
With that I felt as though I was being absorbed into the voice. Or rather
I merged with it...and my thoughts trailed off becoming quiet and distant
to me, until "I" as I had always thought of myself, was no more. I felt
as if I was floating, as if there was another body inside me. A force...a
feminine entity within me, that existed beneath my skin, as if my
physical body was some sort of shrink-wrap surrounding this entity. It
began to throb and pulse...it expanded outward and when it came into
contact with my skin...which seemed to hold it in, it pushed against it.
I felt as if my body was shrink wrapping in some places, yet I could feel
the force push against my skin...as if a butterfly trying to break free
from it's chrysalis. I felt my chest bulging outward, it was
painful...quite a bit so in fact, and the pain woke me from the sleep.
Yet I didn't feel as though I was waking from normal sleep...I was
astounded to find I was growing breasts, they were expanding slowly but
surely right before my eyes. I looked up to see Claire was already awake
and looked shocked...as if she awoke to find...a...girl who used to be
her boyfriend sleeping in her arms.
"Michael! What's happening to you!" she shrieked.
"I'm...not sure," I said, while rubbing the palm of my hand against my
new breasts.
My voice was feminine...and I was astonished to find I sounded like a
girl, and my voice sounded like a silver bell. It was only a little high
pitched, but had a cute ring to it...I think Claire was just as surprised
as me.