Nothing Can Go Wrong
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Nothing can go wrong
NOTHING CAN GO WRONG
By Eric
Red headed Randy Wood looked like Tom Sawyer but with more freckles. Now
he looked like a Tom Sawyer who couldn't get anyone to help him white
wash the fence. A fate far worse than death was staring him the face
like Freddy Krueger. Summer school! A future that was enough to chill the
stoutest 12 year old's heart and while not a chicken Randy was hardly
Indiana Jones! He was not known for his bravery or coolness. It fact
besides his freckles, Randy's chief claim to fame was that he was the
best skate boarder in his school. His mind - such as it was - was
totally focused on his board.
Randy's mother and dad had threatened him with summer school if he
flunked either history or math and he was about to do both. His sister
Kate made things worse by her snickering and false sympathy. Like every
12 year old boy Randy knew with absolute certainly that girls were yucky.
Girls - yuck! Look at all that fuss over clothes and boys and make up
and especially that girls, pretended to be sweet, and then turned boys in
by snitching.
"Why can't you be more like your sister?" his mom said.
He groaned. His mom was always comparing him to his brilliant sister.
But worse was to come. Much worse! His dad looking stern and tough spoke.
"Randy, your mother and I have come to a decision. You spend too much
time skate boarding. It's interfering with your studies. It would be best
if we take it away from you if you fail your tests tomorrow. And we would
know right away, too, as that kind Ms. Hart was nice enough to promise to
let us know the results at once. She feels you're a slacker.
Nothing like your sister at all."
His father's words chilled Randy's heart. Life would lose its meaning
without his beloved board - the Enterprise F! He sunk into the hopeless
black hole of despair. He pleaded but it did no good. As usual his dad
and mom cut neither him nor his sister Kate any slack. She wanted to go
to college but dad said it was a waste of time and money for girls even
if they had the second best grades and test scores in the city. So their
dad got her job modeling underwear. Randy had to snicker about this as
his beautiful sister had wanted to be a medical researcher, but all her
pleading and all the pleading from the teachers and recruiters were
wasted on his very stubborn dad.
Randy went outside and kicked some rocks. He pretended they were that
witch Hart. She had it in for him just because he replaced her hair jell
with glue. She couldn't prove it thank god! She was so unreasonable, just
another yucky girl grown up to torment boys. Why did their have to be any
girls in the world anyway? God had really messed up big time here, he
felt.
Kate came up to her brother. She was as pretty as he was freckled. Kate
was 18 years old and with a great shape and long golden hair. Her face
looked angelic but she wasn't. But as sisters go she was a little better
than average, Randy had to admit from time to time. But she was still a
yucky girl. Just maybe she was a little less yucky than some like that
evil witch Hart. Besides being smart in school Kate had always been very
good at sports so she wasn't hopeless as a human being.
Her face looked even more innocent than usual, but Randy's was feeling
too sorry for himself to notice.
"Poor Bro, you will hate summer school and no skate boarding! That's like
so unfair!"
"Tell me about it. Think I should run away from home?" he asked
hopefully. He saw himself on his trusty Enterprise F skate boarding to
fame and glory.
She grinned. "Normally that happy thought would make my mouth water, but
no it's a jungle out there and you're hardly Tarzan! Maybe cheetah....
You know, I might be able to help you. "
Belated alarm bells went off in Randy's mind - such as it was, A Rocket
scientist he was not no matter what he named his board. His sister was
the brainiac in the family.
"Like how?"
"Like I could take the tests for you."
He laughed scornfully.
"Girls are such airheads! Sure, that would work -not!"
"Look what do you have to lose? Tomorrow morning you will wake up in my
room and my body. I will have my clothes laid out and will help you with
make-up. I will go to school and take those tests and ace them. I got an
A in them when I was 12 and certainly can do better now that I'm 18 and
graduated second in my class from high school!"
Randy wanted to believe her. He wasn't as skeptical as he normally would
have been. There are no skeptics in boys facing summer school and the
lost of their skateboards.
"How?"
She laughed scornfully. "As if I would tell you! You're like so
untrustworthy! "
They argued for a bit, but he gave up. Arguing with a girl was like
trying to skateboard up Everest!
"OK, so what's in it for you?"
"Not much. As you know I am finished with school since dad wont let me go
to college - the chauvinistic shithead - and I don't have any modeling
assignments until Friday. Mom just wants to take me for some silly stuff
in the AM and it will be so utterly boring. It will be like so fun to
fool our folks and I will get to see how it is to be a guy. Act gross for
a day. Rub my nose with a sleeve, get dirty and disgusting and also I'm
dying to try out your skateboard. Mom and dad wont let me have one. NOT
FOR GIRLS!"
"We'll they're not. And I'm not letting you use my board!"
"No skateboarding, no me taking those tests!"
"Alright, alright! I want to believe you even though its more like
something out of Harry Potter or that movie Freaky Friday! And even if it
would work I'd have to be you - a yucky girl."
"You'll see Mr. Freckles! And girls are not yucky!"
Randy flushed scarlet. "You know I hate being called that! And girls are
too yucky!"
"No there not! Boys are so gross!"
An argument that went nowhere eventually ended.
Randy went to bed that night convinced that all that would happened in
the morning would be a sneering laugh from his sister. He even was
desperate enough to study, but it was a little late for that.
That morning when he woke up he smelled perfume and felt long hair. He
opened his eyes and almost screamed. Grinning at him was his own body.
The first words out of Randy's mouth were!" My god I'm so freckled!" His
voice was that of a girl! He swung out of bed and his sister's breasts
move with him. Two mounds of jello. He was a YUCKY GIRL!
Randy said. "You're sure you can change us back? " He squeaked. The
thought of being stuck as his sister was chilling enough for any slasher
film.
"Of course you pea brained snail! Relax and just do what I tell you.
Nothing can go wrong. Remember, you feeble mind gherkin that you're me -
the beautiful, brainy and sweet Kate. And for god's sake play it cool,
don't tell anybody you're Randy. That's a one way ticket to the funny
farm so don't be a moron."
Being insulted gave him a feeling of normality somehow.
"Hey, I know that. I'm not as dumb as I look!"
She snickered. "You couldn't be! " She looked in the mirror. "Thank god
its only for one day. I sure wouldn't want to go through this life with
this face."
"Bite me! I hate being a yucky girl!" Randy said. But he was relieved
that his sister hated being him!
His sister laughed as he sat down to go to the bathroom and she snickered
when he whined. He whined about the clothes. Uncomfortable! The shoes
were too tight and why did he have to wear heels and panty hose? Made up
was for silly girls and yucky. He kept on wining.
"Why a dress why not jeans?" he whined.
" Boy you're sure getting in touch with your feminine side with all this
whining. Because mom insists on me wearing dresses when we're out
together. Bye the way, keep up the whining when you're out with mom.
She'll expect it and will tune you out.
Randy groaned. "That's right I have to go out with her today for some
shopping or something."
Kate nodded Randy's red head. "That's right. Don't forget I'm taking the
tests for you, numb brain."
"Sorry, Kate. I am grateful. " Somehow he wanted to smooth things out.
So as pretty as 3 pictures 'Kate' got into 'her' mom's car. The apparent
Randy had already left on the school bus.
Remembering his sister's advice Randy kept whining in the car. "Mom, do I
have to go, I don't want to, if you loved me you wouldn't ask." All
things he had heard his sis whine for years. As usual mom paid no need.
They went into an underground lot and took an elevator. They went into an
office.
"Good morning, we are ready for Kate. Just come right on in!" said a
receptionist with professional cheerfulness.
Mom ushered her apparent daughter in. All of a sudden Randy felt a chill!
What the hell was this place? It looked like something a mad scientist
would recall from with a humane shudder.
"It's that time of year again!" said female doctor cheerfully. "I know
you hate these things, Kate, but we woman really need our gynecologist
examinations.
Randy screamed.
Afterwards he swore revenge. No wonder KATE HAD BEEN SO 'KIND'. He knew
more about girls' anatomy now than he ever wanted to know. Now it had
been confirmed. Girls were even yuckier than he thought.
What should he do? Cut off her long, blond hair? No! He wouldn't do
anything visible until they swapped back. On the way to a girly
restaurant his sis's cellophane rang. It was probably Kate gloating. It
was.
"Enjoy yourself, sis?" his old voice snicked.
"Bite me!" he said and hung up.
"Your brother I take it?" asked the mom uninterested.
Randy nodded a golden head.
The chatter in the restaurant was never ending and his mom said though
the din "Now Kate, don't sulk so! Every year it's the same thing. Grow
up; I swear sometimes you're as immature as your Brother."
Randy reached across the table and took his mom's wine and took a sip. It
tasted pretty good.
"Have another," she said laughing. "I feel like drinking after my
examines, too!" She sighed. " Men don't know how lucky they are not to
have them!"
"One does now!" thought Randy. And he finished off the glass.
"Or Periods!" his mother continued.
Randy shuddered. Thank god he would be out of this yucky body before he
had one! He asked his mom to order some more wine. She giggled and she
did.
"Just don't tell your dad," she said.
Next it was shoe shopping. His mom didn't get tired. She made him try
more shoes than he thought there were in the world. Every pair was
uncomfortable.
Also, the looks he got from men were weird. He sure never got this much
attention as Randy. It made him feel both disgusted and oddly a little
smug. They ran into some of Kate's friends, Alice and June and Randy
started sweating. Would he give himself away? He would die if mom or
anyone found out he was Randy not Kate and - a yucky girl!
"How's your 'connect the dots' faced bro?" asked Alice, laughing.
Randy burned, but kept his mouth shut. It was so unfair and so untrue. It
made him even madder when his mom laughed, too. He felt he should, too
and it came out a GIGGLE! YUCK! He would be revenged, just like Harry
Potter against Lord V! Shit! He had to take a piss! Of course all the
girls came with him into the ladies room. God it was so humiliating!
Both quizzed him on boys and whether he had a serious beau yet.
"Better hurry up and trap one, Kate or all the cute ones will be taken,"
said Alice.
Randy shuddered. Thank god to morrow he would be himself again.
On the drive home Kate's cell phone rang. He thought it was Kate calling
to gloat again. But he was wrong. It was 'octopus Otto'. Kate had told
everyone who would listen how she 'd rather be dead in a ditch before
she'd date him again. His hands never stopped touching and grabbing.
Super creep! She called him.
"Say, Kate! I was wondering if you would go out tomorrow night with me! I
promise you I'll be a perfect gentleman."
Even 12-year-old Randy could tell his voice had its finger's crossed!
PERFECT! He'd get revenge on Kate big time. He waited until his mom went
into the house than said.
"Now I want to play a little game. No matter how much I protest or what I
say just ignore it tomorrow night, OK!"
Otto loved the sounds of it. "Sure!" he said with enthusiasm. "I'll pick
you up at 6. What a Friday night we'll have, sexy!"
When he hung up Randy laughed like a fiend. He knew mom and dad well
enough they would insist that Kate keep 'her' promise and go out with the
boy! Perfect revenge and Kate wouldn't know what hit her! Revenge was
better than candy!
He went inside.
"I can't believe it!" said his dad excitedly. "Randy's teacher called and
he passed all his tests perfectly!"
His non-swearing mom swore. Then asked: "Where is he?"
"Where else? Outside skate boarding!"
Randy hoped his sister didn't make him look like a sissy or wreak his
precious board!
He ran out side to see how she was doing. It was weird to see 'himself'
whizzing by.
"Damn! How many times have I told that boy to wear his helmet!" said his
mom at Randy's side.
'Randy' waved excitedly at them and then the board went one way and 'he'
went another.
With Kate's heart in his mouth Randy and his mom ran up to the fallen
figure. He was unconscious.
"My baby!" cried his mom, dropping down. "I'll never yell at you again!"
"Am I - is she - he hurt"! stuttered Randy. He was chilled to the bone.
He could be stuck as a yucky girl forever, plus of course he was worried
about his sister - evil witch that she was.
His mom called an ambulance while his dad treated 'Randy' for shock.
At the hospital, they were told no apparent serious injuries, no
fractured skull but certainly he had the symptoms of a concussion.
They were all gathered around the bed. Randy and his mom were crying and
the dad trying not to. The boy on the bed's eyelids fluttered open. Mom
and Dad cried out in relief.
"Randy! Thank God you're OK!"
"Who am I and who are you people?" asked the boy.
"Oh, my god he's got amnesia!" cried his mom.
"Shit!" said Randy.
Part 2
Well 'Randy' was no better the next day! Even worse, thought the new and
very resentful Kate, the jerk seemed to be acting more and more
impossible. Imagine calling me a yucky girl! I am not a yucky girl! It
was sickening the way mom fussed over her baby boy. He was always her
favorite, thought the new Kate. Then she gasped. What am I thinking? I'm
the real Randy! ....Well I was!
That afternoon 'Kate' found out she had a modeling job. It made a
horrible day even more 'prefect'! Well at least she got to drive Kate's
Honda Civic. Driving was easy somehow and Randy put it down to the fact
of skate boarding skills. The former boy had to dress up in the most
girly stuff imaginable while everyone fussed around him and put more make
up on him than the law allowed. She felt like the earth should open up
and swallow her up. Randy was dying of embarrassment.
"You're so lucky to be so beautiful," said the older woman helping him
with the skimpy clothes.
Randy felt weird. Besides making her feel even more embarrassed, somehow
the compliment made her feel good. Randy consoled herself that she was
making more in a day that she had ever made in a lifetime of cutting
grass.
Finally the ordeal ended and Randy got home and kicked off the ghastly
heels and stretched out on the sofa with a luxuriant sigh.
"Has 'Randy' got back his memory?" Randy asked her dad hopefully.
"No, your mom just called and he's just the same. There doesn't seem to
be anything that's physically wrong with him so they're sending your
brother home tomorrow."
The doorbell rang.
"Get that will you, Princess?"
'The Princess' made a face and went towards the door. OH SHIT! It was
Otto.
"Hello, sexy?" he leered.
Randy bit back a scream. Shit she forgot about Octopus Otto!
Well, I'm in for it, thought the present Kate. Mt plan for revenge sure
bit me in the ass. She tried to get out of the date by saying.
"Dad, I'm too upset because of poor Randy to go out."
Mr. Wood frowned.
"Now, Kate, except for the amnesia, which is surely temporary, Randy is
fine. Now you go out with this nice young man and have a good time and
that's that/!"
The former Randy groaned to herself. On the way out to Otto's car he got
pinched before they went 4 feet from the door.
"Ouch! That hurt!" she said rubbing her new soft, round bottom. "Don't do
it again?"
Otto grinned knowingly. "Whatever you say, Kate. Don't worry I remember
what you said about ignoring every complaint!"
"Shit!" came from sweet lips once again.
Otto attempted to touch soft tits. Kate slapped his hand, not discouraged
he kept it up all evening. 'Kate' was fondled under the table when they
were eating pizza. Grouped all through the picture.
The new Kate was furious. What a pig! She thought. If I ever go out on a
date again I'm only dating gentlemen!
Buy the time they got back to the house the new Kate was more undressed
than dressed. She was exhausted from fighting him off. She went into her
dad's arms crying and complained to about Otto and his dad leveled the
jerk.
"Thanks, dad!" said Kate kissing her protective father on the cheek and
went to bed an humiliated and tired young lady/
The next day 'Randy' came home, but still with no memory. Mrs. Wood
babied him and Kate found herself doing both their chores. Life really
sucked! She thought washing pots and pans, but even as angry as she was
she made sure to wear gloved. She couldn't risk having dishpan hands!
Also, the new Kate found herself on a strict diet and hated to see her
brother shoveling in all those delicious foods. It just wasn't fair! And
the freckled faced freaky geek gets away with murder now! She thought
darkly. He's got, just got to get his memory back soon. I can't spend
the rest of my life as a girl!
The doctors were puzzled as to why 'Randy' never regained his memory and
so he of course didn't know that he was once Kate and so the former boy
was stuck as Kate.
The new Kate searched her room and then the whole house and read her
diary but no hint of how they swapped. The diary helped her adjust but
she hatred being a girl and freaked out big time at her first period!
Except for the good money she made as a model life sucked, she thought.
She hated periods and uncomfortable clothes and her mom pushing her to
marry some jerk. Though as time went on she had to admit that some boys
were awfully cute and started dating. But she only dated gentlemen. No
more Otto's for her! She had to admit that it was kinda nice to be so
beautiful that she could pick and choose her dates. She had her 19th
birthday and her friends threw her a wonderful party. Her boss at work
gave her a great dress to wear for it. The only bad feature was that her
brat of a bro tried to crash it and like so embarrassed her in front of
her friends. She's now very used to being a beautiful underwear model and
tells herself that at least it pays very good money.
Kate is unhappy that the new Randy is such a brain! Dad is so proud of
'him' and there is talk of the University of Chicago yet. The freckled
face brat is like only 13 for god's sake! She thought resentfully. The
new Randy was sure making her look bad! He never gets less than a perfect
score and his placement scores are off the chart!
Though used to it Kate still occasionally hates all the super feminine
stuff that is expected of her and of course blames her brother for them
being stuck and not being able to change back! It's so hard looking
beautiful. She absolutely hates bikini waxes and periods and all the
hours she has to spend at the hair saloon. But to be honest she kinda
likes the gossiping she does with the other models. But it takes forever
to get dressed and her shoes - especially heels are like from hell. Randy
of course gets away with murder since he's the baby and especially since
the friggin accident. 'Randy' calls her boy crazy and makes fun of her
clothes and her make-up and how much time she spends in the bathroom.
Complaints to her mom fall on deft ears. Her mom sure like her baby boy
best! And so brother and sister get along worse than usual.
She tries to make sure her boyfriends don't meet the odious brat. How mad
she gets when Randy tells her girls are yucky! Kate gets back at him as
best she can and makes it a point to patronize him and as always tell mom
and dad if she finds out if he's broke any rules.
Kate hates her moms fussing about her clothes; for god's sake she isn't
like some old lady and what's wrong with looking a little sexy? Of course
she's careful not to look at all slutty. Girls like can't be too careful.
But Mom's got to back off trying to run her life. She is looking for a
roommate so she can like move out. But her dad is dead set against it and
she is afraid of him still. But it's like so unfair - she'll be 20 soon!
Maybe she should just get married to get away from home? Like there were
lots of rich hunks wanting to marry her and her boss at the model agency
has promised her the most darling bridal gown. Kate got a dreamy look in
her eyes. She would look like a queen.
Mr. and Mrs. Wood are proud of their children. Their daughter is so
beautiful and makes a great living. Their son is the most brilliant pupil
in the city. They both feel very lucky that their daughter is far from a
slut. She is such a lady and they're proud of her. Mr. Wood takes his
son's changes for the better without question. The boy just grew up after
his accident he feels. The mom though is more thoughtful. Why and how did
her son turn his life and grades and attitudes around so drastically, she
often wonders? Also, Randy seems every once and awhile to have an almost
secret smirk on his freckled face. But best not to look a gift horse in
the mouth, she feels.
The End