Happily Ever After? Chapter 9
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Rating: R |
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Added: 06/19/2007 |
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Synopsis: | As book III in the story of "Me and Sam" continues, Joan proceeds to work on the Inn. Sam comes home with some exciting news of his own. |
Categories: |
Misc Stories
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Keywords: |
Hormones
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Chapter 9
Drive
I pedaled home slowly and hoped that I wouldn't find a sad Sam when I
arrived... Then I began worrying that he might have been convinced to rejoin
the team. It was closing in on seven as I walked in the front door. I
began thinking that I should have called first. Of course, the house was
empty and I was out the door quickly as terrible thoughts began to assault
my consciousness. Would I ever be back on an even keel again?
Shandy greeted me at the front door with her tail wagging and her tongue
hanging out. Somehow, I took that as a good sign. I bent down to pet her
for a minute before heading back to the kitchen. I stopped dead in my
tracks as I heard Mom and Aunt Melissa apparently involved in an argument
about something.
"You should tell her!" I heard Aunt Melissa scream.
"Now is not the time," my mother replied.
I had no idea what they were going on about, but I was too tired to care.
I made my presence known and began a noisy stroll into the kitchen. The
room erupted in silence. "Do either of you know where Sam is?" I asked.
They stopped what they were doing and stared at me intently.
"Sam went out with his friends after the game," Mom informed me. I wasn't
sure how to take that. I was glad for him personally, but worried about
the babies. In any event, I was too tired to care. It had been a very long
day. I left them to their conversation and made my way up to the bathroom.
I luxuriated in the warm mist of the shower for the better part of an
hour. I finally turned it off when there wasn't a trace of hot water left.
Mission accomplished, I headed back to the kitchen in search of something
to eat. Mom ordered me to sit down and began re-heating leftovers for me.
I didn't really care what I ate, as long as it was food.
"So, Joan, are we going to finish the rough painting tomorrow?" Aunt Mel
asked.
"That's the plan," I replied as I shoveled another spoonful of potatoes
into my mouth. "I'm thinking we can begin working on the trim first thing
Monday morning." She just smiled at me and shook her head. We'd really
made incredible progress on the building in less than a week's time.
I finished my food and got up to begin cleaning and putting things away.
Mom pushed me back down by the shoulder. I simply smiled up at her and let
her take care of me. "Are you ready to give me another guitar lesson? I've
been practicing, you know." Aunt Mel smiled over at me. I was beyond
exhausted but replied that I couldn't think of anything I'd rather do.
It was ten o'clock when I began nodding off while Aunt Melissa began
perfecting some of the basic chords. "I'm really sorry, but I need to get
some sleep," I said while stifling a yawn. She smiled at me and told me
she understood. We made arrangements to get together around one o'clock
tomorrow afternoon. I was sure we'd have it finished by dinner time.
I thanked Mom for everything, scratched Shandy's belly for a few minutes,
and made my way home. I smiled to myself as I realized, yet again, that I
was thinking of Aunt Alice's as home. I walked in the front door and the
house was eerily quiet. Not Again! I almost screamed as I ran upstairs to
check the bedroom. I heaved a sigh of relief as I spied Sam snuggled under
the sheets with the two stuffed animals. I removed my clothing quietly and
climbed in beside him. I fell asleep with my face pressed up against his
back.
I woke up Sunday morning feeling good. Not great, but good. I put on a
simple outfit and took a walk to the bakery. For just this once I went
overboard. Two cheesecakes and a half dozen donuts. I knew that if Aunt
Alice wanted any she'd better get to it before Sam knew it was there. The
Inn was close by and I found myself drawn to it. I wanted to see what it
looked like this early in the morning. It was beautiful. I'd chosen the
right color scheme for sure.
I walked home with a smile on my face. I debated for a moment whether or
not to see if Aunt Melissa was up, but decided to go and check on Sam
first. I had no idea what time he'd gone to bed. I found it curious that
he'd gone to sleep without knowing where I was. Maybe he just didn't care?
I wasn't sure what drove my insecurities. They didn't attack me often and
I was grateful for that. I ran upstairs and found him just as I'd left
him. He hadn't moved all night long. Only the warmth from his body let me
know that he was alive.
I went back downstairs and put half of the goodies away. It was time to
take a trip across the street. Aunt Melissa was sitting at the kitchen
table when I walked into the room. It seemed to me that she was always
sitting at the table. Her eyes had a sad look to them and her vision was
focused out the window on what lay beyond these four walls.
"It is a beautiful day out there, isn't it?" I said in a soft voice. She
almost jumped out of her skin. Her mind was clearly elsewhere. Rather than
ask her if she was ok, she obviously wasn't, I asked her if she'd like to
join me at the picnic table for a slice of cheesecake. She smiled up at me
wanly and poured herself another cup of coffee. I poured one for myself,
grabbed some plates and utensils and followed her into the backyard.
Shandy was already busily patrolling the perimeter.
"I guess Dan and Melissa are coming back today?" I asked in an attempt to
get her mind off of her troubles. She resumed staring off into space
without issuing a sound. I opened the box, cut her a slice and placed it
in front of her. "You want to talk about it?" I tried again.
She looked at me and smiled. "I'll be alright Joan," she said and began
quietly eating. I didn't know what else to do; I followed her lead. We sat
there silently enjoying the food and the weather. I wanted to ask her if
she planned on staying, but I decided to give her some space. Sooner or
later she'd be ready to talk about it. We finished up, sat there drinking
and smoking and then headed back inside. We were both anxious to get the
painting done.
By eleven thirty we were busily at work and I could tell by our progress
that we'd be finished in a few hours time. The only thing missing was Sam.
He didn't show up with lunch around noon time. I hadn't really expected
him to, but was a bit sad when he didn't show up at all.
Aunt Melissa and I continued working and we finished up right around three
o'clock. "What next master?" she asked me and started to laugh. I
considered beginning to remove the boards on the windows, but then
realized that they'd probably been put up for a reason. We could take them
down tomorrow at the start of our business day.
"So, this is the last week of summer vacation starting up and you're going
to spend it painting?" she said to me and smiled. I honestly hadn't
thought about things in that way, but I knew there was nothing I'd rather
be doing. I smiled at her in return and told her as much. We stopped off
at the corner store. Aunt Melissa bought enough cold cuts and such to feed
a small army. I probably should have insisted on paying for it all, but I
didn't.
The last week of summer. Was this really how I wanted to spend it? And,
what of school a week from Tuesday. I couldn't go back to school
pretending to be John. John was pretty much nothing more than a pleasant
memory for me now. It was my turn to be lost in thought as Aunt Melissa
and I made our way home.
Sam, Aunt Alice, and my mother were all sitting at the kitchen table. It
almost seemed as if they were awaiting our arrival. As per usual these
days, I found myself worrying yet again. Their conversation seemed light
and cheery and in the end, I decided to ignore it.
"Who's ready for a picnic?" Aunt Melissa asked the group as she began
laying her purchases on the kitchen table. Sam didn't disappoint as he
nearly jumped out of his chair eager to assist. He no longer had any
problems consuming food. I knew it was early on, but I was still somewhat
surprised that he wasn't showing ---at all.
"Joan, the team really needs me, and Dr. Feingold said I was good to go if
it was alright with you," he said pleadingly. I guess I just couldn't
understand why this was so important to him. I wasn't going to be a
shrewish wife. We were kids. We were in this together. I only wanted what
was best for my babies.
"But Sam, you've already missed a few weeks. Do you think you could just
jump back in and make a go of it?" I asked hoping that the answer would be
"no." He finally admitted that he wasn't sure, but Dr. Feingold examined
him after the game and gave him a clean bill of health. It seemed, the
final decision rested with me. I looked at the two potential grandmothers
sitting round the table and was amazed when neither of them rose to my
defense. Maybe it would be better for everyone if Sam didn't carry to
term? I didn't believe that in my heart, but felt there was nothing else
that I could do. There was only one game left. In a week's time, the
season would be over. Could we tempt fate that way?.
Sam sat there and didn't say a word. He didn't have to: his eyes said it
all. I so wanted to beg him not to play. I knew in my heart that I just
couldn't. I reluctantly gave him my answer, telling him that as long as it
was ok with the doctor, then who was I to offer a differing opinion?
"Sam, you can play --- but this is it. I don't want to hear anything out
of you about football or basketball or WHATEVER! After this game next
weekend your primary goal in life will be looking after your health. Do we
have an agreement?" I wasn't my usual tentative self. I meant every word
that I said. If he couldn't live with it then all bets were off. He looked
up at me with the saddest look in his eyes and said nothing.
I'm not sure why I did what I did next. I grabbed my purse and ran up to
the bathroom. I took my pills while staring at my reflection in the
bathroom mirror. Yes, I'd taken them consistently, daily, but I'd never
fallen into a routine with them. It was, and I imagined it always would be
a conscious thought that sent them sliding down my esophagus I eyed myself
warily. I bent my head down and stuck my head under the faucet to suck the
water directly from the tap.
Back in the kitchen, Sam was busily telling everyone of his need to begin
seriously practicing again. The only face that held a sympathetic eye
belonged to Aunt Melissa. I finished helping Aunt Mel making the
sandwiches for dinner and we sat around the table eating in near silence.
I was starving, but the premonition of bad things to come quelled my
appetite. It took me awhile before I could cage my feelings and
participate without a seeming care.
Dinner finished, everything cleaned and put away, we decided as a group to
take a walk on the boards. I couldn't remember the last time I'd tread the
boardwalk with my mother in tow. They seemed absolutely jubilant as I
locked the front door and walked over to join them. We took the two block
detour and stood in front of the Ryan Inn.
"Oh Joan, it's beautiful!" my mother exclaimed. I felt a surge of pride
and was grateful that mom appreciated all that we had accomplished. Still,
part of me couldn't figure out why she was taking such an interest in one
of my painting jobs.
"I couldn't have done it without Aunt Melissa's and Sam's help," I told
her. I smiled to myself as I realized that I surely could have, but it
would have taken a lot longer. Mom and Auntie M whispered back and forth
for a few minutes as we continued walking.
This being the next to last summer's Sunday of the season, the boardwalk
was packed. I thought back for a moment and realized this was Mom's first
trip down here this summer. "You guys want to go on some rides?" I asked
and laughed. The three of them looked at me like I was crazy. We just
walked around for a bit taking in all the sights, sounds, and scents that
the boardwalk had to offer. For a few minutes Mom and Aunt Melissa became
lost in smiles and stories of their own childhood. It was a joy to watch
and listen to.
Aunt Alice apparently feeling like the fifth wheel became very quiet. I
could sense a tinge of jealousy over the relationship between mom and her
sister. We began chatting a bit. I asked her what she thought about Sam
resuming his baseball career and she told me that as long as the doctor
said it was ok she didn't see anything wrong with it. Instead of me
cheering her up as I'd intended, she was bringing me down. I just wanted
to get away from everyone and everything.
I found myself looking forward to going to work tomorrow. Sam and I
started talking about the upcoming school year. He actually asked me if I
planned on returning as John or Joan. I told him I couldn't go back as
John, but I wasn't sure how it was all going to work out. He smiled at me
in apprehension of things to come. I hugged him tight and told him not to
worry about it, that I certainly wasn't going to. He accepted my statement
of confidence and somehow seemed relieved to hear it. Truth be told, I was
more worried than I let on, but Sam didn't need to know that.
Mom bought us all some ice cream. We walked for awhile after that at Aunt
Mel's insistence. She said she was eating far too many high-calorie
desserts and would have to make some effort at keeping the weight off. I
told her that she'd get plenty of exercise in the morning. She laughed at
that and we continued on our trek. It felt a bit strange being there with
the parents, but I could tell overall that it was helpful for the family,
so I had no complaints.
Sam went on for a bit about finishing up the baseball season with the
team. He told me he was sorry that he wouldn't be able to help us paint
for the next few weeks. I did my best to keep my anger at bay and a smile
on my face. I guess it wasn't anger, really. It was worry more than
anything else. Still, knowing that Sam had committed himself to doing
this, I didn't want to add to his worries.
We walked back home and the three ladies adjourned to our kitchen. Sam and
I bade them goodnight. He simply said he had to rest up for practice
tomorrow, and I told them I was resting up for work. The three of them
smiled in unison as Sam and I walked out the door arm in arm.
"I guess nobody's going to ground us for sleeping together anymore," I
said and laughed. Sam punched me on the arm playfully and headed upstairs.
He asked me to join him, but I told him I wasn't quite ready for bed just
yet. Thankfully, he didn't take that as rejection and told me not to stay
up too late. I ran upstairs after him for a minute, grabbed him in my arms
and just hugged him. I told him I was running back across the street for a
minute, kissed him goodnight and left.
I could hear their babbling the moment I opened the front door. Shandy
practically attacked me. I felt guilty for not having paid much attention
to her lately. I called her over to the couch and gently smothered her in
hugs and kisses. She was such a good dog. My new room was only about two
hundred feet away, yet it felt like we were living in different universes
anymore. I grabbed her head in both hands and kissed her on the head.
Although I was happy to see her, that wasn't why I came back over. I went
into the sewing room, grabbed my portable CD player and my Martin and went
back into the living room.
I was determined to introduce a new song to the band. Lately I was getting
stuck with the bass on every tune. While Fred was a better guitar player
than I was and I truly loved playing bass, I wanted to do a song playing
guitar. I loaded the CD into the player, put the headphones on and
listened to the beautiful guitar intro. It took me a few minutes, but soon
I was playing along. The harmonies on this song just blew me away.
I tried singing along a few times. It sounded a bit strange with my higher
pitched voice, but it worked. "Sometimes, I feel the fear of uncertainty
stinging clear." (Incubus: "Drive") An hour later I had it down cold. I
knew we could do it and make it sound at least as good as the album. I
thought that if we played that and "Love and Memories" we might actually
have a chance of winning the battle of the bands contest. I smiled
contentedly as I put everything away and made my way back across the
street.
Sam was out like a light when I climbed in beside him. He surprised me
though and rolled over to hug me. The next thing I knew all thoughts of
sleep were gone. I simply melted in his embrace. I found myself lost in
his essence. For the moment everything was perfect as I finally drifted
off to sleep.
Sam never did tell me what time he was going to practice. I was up a bit
earlier than planned, so I did a load of wash and gave the kitchen a once
over before heading across the street. Aunt Melissa greeted me with a
smile and a hug. She seemed in much better spirits this morning. I was
tempted to ask her what had changed, but I didn't want to spoil the mood.
"So, are you ready to paint some trim?" she asked me laughingly. I told
her I was about to ask her the same question and that was answer enough
for both of us. We stopped off at Hospin's on the way over and picked up a
few gallons of the charcoal gray we were going to use for the trim work.
Mr. Hospin tried to tell me that I wanted white, not a dark gray, but I
was adamant in my decision. Aunt Mel jumped in and told him that I
apparently knew what I wanted and to just give it to me. Almost
immediately I began to have doubts about my choice. Would the dark gray
provide too much contrast? Would the owners like it? Hell, white was the
safe choice. I wasn't feeling safe that morning.
Aunt Melissa's vote of confidence helped me stick to my guns. We arrived
on scene and begin setting up in robotic fashion. By ten o'clock we were
well on our way. Aunt Mel was almost as good at the fine work as I was. By
one o'clock we'd finished most of what we'd planned. We hadn't considered
that Sam wouldn't be showing up with lunch today and finally, our stomachs
made the decision to take a break for us.
After a quick trip to the Deli, we sat outside and ate. "Now comes the
hard part," I told her. She looked at me quizzically, while I explained
that we'd have to remove the boards from the windows before continuing. We
removed four of them and began the very fine paint work. After I finished
the first window I walked across the street and stared over. The charcoal
gray had indeed been the right choice. I smiled to myself and jumped back
in. By day's end we had the entire front of the building finished. It
began looking once again like it belonged in the neighborhood.
There were a lot of windows on the sides and back of the building. I
figured that we'd be able to finish the outside by end of business
Wednesday. By five o'clock we were all cleaned up and on our way home. I
was anxious to see how Sam was doing, but Auntie M corralled me and we
soon had dinner under way. For an old lady she seemed to have more energy
than I did.
We hadn't been at it long when Sam came bursting into the kitchen. I
wished that I knew how to stop worrying about him all the time. He came
over and hugged me, spun me round in the air, and gave me a loud
resounding kiss on the lips. Although he hadn't pitched in weeks, the
coach had selected him to pitch the big game on Saturday. He was
overjoyed. Under different circumstances, I'd have shared that joy. I did
my best to conceal my anxiety from him. Though, Aunt Melissa clearly
picked it up, Sam himself was oblivious.
The families gathered in our dining room once again and a lot of oohs and
ahhs were emitted as Aunt Mel's salmon delight was displayed and then
quickly consumed. Sam jumped up and began cleaning the table as soon as it
was over. I was so proud of him for pitching in unasked. That is, until I
learned his motivations. It seems he was headed off to Forbes field for a
bit more baseball before it started getting dark. He half-heartedly asked
me to join him I could tell that his invitation wasn't sincere. Besides, I
had no desire whatsoever to join the idiots in their game.
I adjourned to the sewing room after dinner. I wanted to practice a bit
more. The calluses were finally beginning to form on my fingertips. It
seemed the Bass required a bit more finger strength than playing the
guitar. The baby blue finish on the Fender Squire Bass reminded me of the
Inn. As I continued practicing Aunt Mel asked if she could join in. She
grabbed my old guitar and began going over the chords that she already
knew. I did my best to provide an improvisational bass line. It wasn't
long before we sat there grinning at each other maniacally.
Finally, Mom came in and shooed us away. It seems she had some sewing she
wanted to do. By that point I'd had enough and began packing up. I left
Aunt Melissa and Mom in the sewing room and went upstairs to give Darla a
call.
"Darla? Are we still on for practice Wednesday evening?" were the first
words out of my mouth. She seemed happy to hear from me. Of course, it
also seemed to me that she was spending too much time with Fred lately. As
Sam and I were coming out of our shells, Darla was retreating into her
own.
We talked for awhile. She told me that she was looking forward to our
session on Wednesday evening. I promised her that wild horses couldn't
keep me away. I found myself asking her if she'd heard from Sarah. I
wasn't concerned personally, I just wanted to know how she was making out
with my old job. It seems that they'd had a complete falling out and were
no longer friends.
I found myself wondering what was going to happen at school next week.
Would they still be sitting together at lunch time? Would Sam just join in
with that asshole Billy again? Damn, I really didn't want to go back to
school. Too many bridges had been burned. Would I sign up for Mr. Ferris'
advanced wood shop? Part of me wanted to, but part of me was pissed off at
him. Sure, he'd done me a favor, but that had never been his intention. I
was so confused!
Sam came home totally satisfied by the day's events. I was still feeling a
bit anxious about his plans to pitch on Saturday, but it was so good to
see him really happy again. I packed my worries away and we made love late
into the night...