Happily Ever After? Chapters 6 and 7

by:	Darla Raspberry

View Story Details

Rating: R	Add Review	Added: 06/03/2007
Complete: SIBC
Synopsis:	Joan and Sam continue to adjust to their new life as the summer winds down. Plans are made to attend cousin Melissa's wedding.
Categories:	Misc Stories
Keywords:	Hormones

Chapter 6

We Should Always be Together

I had no idea what prompted him to make my dinner. He also insisted on doing the clean up when it was over, though I did try and protest. The warmth generated by our bodies as we hugged soothed my soul. He insisted that I go out to the living room and sit down. I really wanted a smoke, but was going to cut back as much as possible and hopefully leave the damn things behind entirely.

I was sitting on the couch with the TV on for background when I remembered that Sam had been reading a book. I smiled as I recalled his feeble attempt to hide it from me. He'd slid it under the couch. I reached underneath without looking and of course my hand found his reading material.

I almost wept as I read the title. "Prenatal Care in the 21st Century." He did care! My heart leapt with joy at the realization. I almost couldn't believe it. He'd always been so nonchalant about the whole thing. I jumped off the couch and ran into the kitchen with the book clutched firmly in my hands.

"Sam!" I yelled out to him as he stood at the sink with his eyes focused outside the window over the sink. I ran up behind him and hugged him. "You do care!" I yelled yet again though my mouth was only inches from his ears.

"Joan, be careful! There are knives in there," he said indicating the wash basin in the sink. The Peters had a dishwasher but it hadn't been used in ages.

"Oh Sam! I love you so!" I hugged him so tight that he actually shrieked with pain. I finally realized that he was teasing me and broke out in a fit of giggles. He slowly turned around and saw why I was so excited. I'd placed the book on the kitchen table right there in front of us.

He stared deep into my eyes. "Joan, I just want to give our children the best chance possible and thought this might help," he said indicating the book.

"Maybe we can read it together?" I offered wanting to become as involved in all of this as possible. He smiled at me, caressed my hair gently, and kissed me deeply with a fervent passion. Finally he released me and I began drying off the dishes that he placed in the rack. It felt so right, the two of us working together. After the last dish had been put away I picked up the phone and called cousin Melissa.

I asked her if everything was going according to plan. She laughed in response and asked me if I thought something might have changed? She then went on to ask me if I'd fill in as one of her bridesmaids. Her friend Sue had suffered a broken leg in a water-skiing accident and while she planned on attending, would be unable to perform her bridesmaid chores.

I told her that I'd love to, but I didn't have a gown or anything else for that matter. She laughed in return and told me she was certain that Sue's gown would fit me without needing any alterations. It seemed I would be attending my second wedding in a month's time as a member of the wedding party. Finally, I told her that I'd be happy to help out but only if I could be partnered with Sam. She burst out laughing and told me to consider it done.

There were plans in place for a rehearsal/dinner on Saturday. We both began giggling and going on about the upcoming wedding. At some point during our conversation Sam picked up the book and headed into the living room. She told me that her father would be arriving on Friday. I hadn't seen Uncle Harry in years. I began wondering if he planned on taking up residence in my bedroom as well.

I quickly caught myself and remembered that the only reason Aunt Melissa was here was because I'd asked her to come. I found myself getting sad as I realized that more changes were on the horizon. What would become of us all when she finally went back home?

We finally said our goodbyes and I made my way to the living room. I sat down next to my husband who was reading intently. I put my arm around him and began gently massaging his shoulder. He laughed and leaned forward to grant me access to both of them. The next half-hour passed quickly as I sat there erasing the tension that had built up in them.

We made love that night. It felt like the first time. Everything was just perfect. We fell asleep in embrace and I drifted off as his breath washed gently over my cheek.. I dreamed once again of the twins. They were fighting and Sam was the arbiter. He had them both laughing and giggling before they could remember what they'd been fighting about. He was a very special father. I was truly blessed.

Thursday morning arrived and Sam had his doctor's appointment. I was a bit distressed at being unable to attend. I had three more jobs to complete before my day would be done. Sam seemed a bit upset that I wouldn't be going with him. I told him that he'd be fine and patted his rear affectionately as I headed out the door.

The work went smoothly. By two o'clock I was already started on my last job of the day. Both of those jobs were quite simple; bedrooms. Sometimes when I finished so quickly people would eye me with a bit of resentment before handing over the money. As if to suggest that if they'd known it was going to be that easy, they'd have done it themselves.

I smiled to myself as I realized it wasn't nearly as easy as I made it look. The Boone home was a more difficult task. Once again I had to explain that the job was going to cost far more than sixty dollars. I managed to finish up by seven o'clock and was on my way home.

I was anxious to see Sam. What had Dr. Feingold said to him? I feared that Sam would be back at the ballpark with the boys. As he greeted me at the front door, I could see a look of sadness in his eyes. My heart quickly found its way to my throat as I worried for my babies. "Sam? What's wrong?" I almost screamed.

He hugged me close and began weeping. I've never been so scared in my life. "Sam, sweetheart, what is it?" I asked gently and tried to keep the tremor out of my voice. I waited for him to reply as I stood there fearing the worst.

"Dr. Feingold told me that I'll have to forget about baseball for the rest of the season," he cried. My heart began beating again. I'd been so worried for the twins that I hadn't even considered Sam's feelings for the game. "She also told me that it wasn't too late to stop all of this," he half-whispered. Every muscle in my body tensed as I digested what he was telling me.

I thought we were way passed all of this. I thought that we'd bought our tickets and were on our way to our final destination. Was I simply asking too much of him? Was it fair of me to insist that he continue? I fought back my doubts. "Well Sam, if that's what we have to do, then that's what we have to do," I said as bravely as I could.

He eyed me suspiciously. "You think I should abort the twins?" he asked seriously.

"Sam, I love you with all of my heart, and I love our babies even more. But, if playing baseball is more important to you than anything, then maybe you should follow the doctor's suggestion." My eyes filled with tears and my heart filled with hate as I stood there awaiting his response. Hate for the doctor who saw my babies as nothing more than a mass of cell tissue. My knees went weak and I felt my eyes roll back in my head as I collapsed in his arms.

When I opened my eyes I was lying on the couch with my head in Sam's lap. He looked down at me with tears still streaming. A sad smile covered his face. "Joan, I'm sorry." The look in his eyes sent me into yet another tailspin. Had the doctor already performed the murder of my babies?

"Sam, you didn't? You couldn't?" I screamed with the last bit of hope left in me. He continued to cry and told me that he hadn't, but that he'd been sorely tempted. As I lay there, I shifted to my side and wrapped my arms around him and began incessantly kissing his belly. "I love you Sam," I said yet again.

He looked down at me sadly and simply replied, "I know." The words were softly spoken, but the pain was sharp. Was that what he'd felt when I gave that very response back to him at the beginning of it all? No wonder he'd responded as he had. I was determined not to let his response get to me the way that mine had gotten to him. We were in this together. Till death do us part, together. Those weren't some words spoken merely out of custom and tradition. I was determined to make this work and not just mind-numbingly work, but work with a sense of pride and joy for all of us.

Friday arrived and I had to get to work yet again. Three jobs to complete and then a weekend of wedding. I left Sam asleep and smiling as I headed out the door. I hoped that he wouldn't come to resent his decision as the baseball season wore on. He'd made some friends on the team. Surely they would now all come to hate him. I sighed aloud as I pedaled to the Liebovitz's home.

I found it hard to smile as I stood there ringing their doorbell. Moments later the maid let me in. It was quite a getup she was wearing. She didn't know what to make of the smile that I granted her as I was led to the scene of the crime. I soon became lost in my work and was grateful for that opportunity. Three hours later I was off to the Hoffman's after stopping briefly for lunch. I spent the rest of the work day on auto-pilot and headed home just after seven.

My purse was overflowing. I'd have to make a trip to the bank in the morning. I put the bulk of my earnings in one of the drawers that I'd co-opted from Sam and made my way downstairs. He seemed a bit lost to the world. "Come on Sam, we're getting out of here," I said as I pulled him up off the couch. The only way to gain his cooperation was to bribe him with food. Finally in a standing position he wrapped his arms around me and steeled me in an embrace. I smiled up at him confidently and led him to the door.

Sam's determination increased with every step. I grew a bit nervous as he led me to the boardwalk. What if Billy and his pals were wandering about? I worried for the twins. Still, Sam didn't seem to have a care in the world and I wasn't about to burst his bubble. We made our way to one of the nicer restaurants with a view of the ocean while we dined. He eyed me with guilt as I paid the bill. I smiled at him and told him not to worry about it. He was a quick study and soon we were on our way.

The evening spent was simply heavenly. A few girls started flirting with Sam and he held up his hand showing off his ring, shrugged his shoulders, laughed, and held me a bit tighter. I laughed along with him. And then, as we made our way home I realized that I'd be unavailable for band practice again this weekend. I'm not sure why that even came to mind at the moment, but it did.

Would Fred and Darla understand? Had they replaced me already? Maybe I could schedule something with them for Monday. The band really was important to me. My life had become so full in the last few months it was hard to know where to begin anymore. I couldn't remember the last friendly conversation I'd had with Darla. It seemed forever ago. Ah well, no use in worrying about it now. I'd simply call her in the morning and figure out where things stood.

"Earth to Joan, come in Joan," Sam shouted at me. I arrived back in the moment feeling a wee bit uneasy. "What's wrong sweetheart?"

"Sam, I was just thinking about the band. It's been weeks since we've practiced together. I hope they aren't planning on replacing me," I sighed.

"Well, I haven't heard the three of you perform together, but I do know one thing. You simply have to be the best one in the band, so how could they possibly think of replacing perfection?"

I smiled up at him and hugged him gratefully. Those were words I needed to hear. Whether they were true or not was not important. The fact that he said them and meant them was. We walked home arm in arm. It felt nice leaning against him as we made the leisurely stroll.

Saturday morning! I was up early and filled with concern. I realized that I hadn't even gone over to meet Uncle Harry last night. I felt a lot more comfortable explaining my situation to women than I did to men. Hopefully, no explanations would be required. Hell, I hadn't seen Uncle Harry since I was five years old.

I put a load of laundry in, took a shower, and headed across the street. It was eight o'clock as I walked through the front door. I almost felt like a visitor in my own home. It was weird. Shandy, not standing on protocol, reminded me of my place in the overall scheme of things. I wrapped my arms around her golden fur and hugged her tightly. Her mile- long tongue kept searching for a spot on my face that hadn't yet been bathed in saliva. Her nails clicked on the floor as she followed me into the kitchen.

Aunt Melissa was sitting at the table with a cup of coffee and a cigarette looking a bit down. "Auntie M, is something wrong?" I felt compelled to ask. She looked up at me with a wan smile and extended her arms to me. I moved forward and was embraced in a vise-like hug.

"Oh Joan, don't ever change!" she exclaimed as a tear rolled down her cheek. It was then that I really began to worry.

"What's the matter? Everything's ok with Dan and Melissa, isn't it?" My first thoughts were of the wedding couple. She finally released her grip on me, told me to pour myself a cup of coffee and sit down. I did as directed.

"It's your Uncle Harry. It seems his only daughter's wedding isn't important enough for him to take time off from work. Sure, it's a long flight from Brisbane, but it's the most important day in Melissa's life. How could he do this?" Without thinking, I grabbed one of the cigarettes from the pack on the table and lit it. It had been a few days since I'd had a smoke. I cursed the relief that washed through me as I inhaled.

"Oh Aunt Melissa! I'm so sorry!" She looked at me angrily for my expression of sympathy. "I wish there was something that I could do?" I stated helplessly. Her lips turned downward, she frowned into her cup and lighted another cigarette. I wasn't about to remind her that she already had one burning in the ashtray.

"No worries, Joan. We'll carry on as best we can. We've got a wedding to prepare for and, I understand you've been promoted to bridesmaid!" Her enthusiasm for the upcoming wedding almost seemed believable, but I could tell her heart was breaking on the inside. "It seems the Nuall girls are unlucky in love," she said and laughed sardonically. It took me a moment to process that. I hadn't even known my own mother's maiden name. With my own distant relationship with my own grandparents, I guess that was to be expected. Still, it struck me as odd that I hadn't known till now.

A thought occurred to me. "Aunt Melissa, are there any extra seats available for the reception?" Yes, perhaps it was selfish to be thinking of myself, but I figured it wouldn't hurt to invite Darla and Fred if at all possible.

"What did you have in mind, Joan?"

"Well, you remember my friend Darla, and Fred, you know, the guy that did the music and the photography? I was wondering if it might be possible to invite them?" I asked hopefully. Hell, I had no idea whether or not they'd even want to attend. Still, I felt compelled to do something.

"Joan, the wedding is tomorrow. Do you actually think they'd even want to come?" she asked seriously forgetting her own troubles for the moment. How did I answer her very real question? I put my brain on hold and responded.

"Honestly, I'm not sure, but I'd love to be able to ask them. If there are any seats available, that is?" I asked pleadingly. She smiled at me in understanding and told me that of course it would be alright if I wanted to invite my friends. She went on to explain that there was at least ONE cancellation that she knew about and laughed.

I hugged her tight, thanked her and spent the next few hours doing yard work. Shandy was busily at work protecting the perimeter and followed me up and down as I mowed the back yard. I was excited at the prospect of Fred and Darla attending the wedding. Eleven o'clock finally arrived and I figured it was time to give Darla a call.

"Darla? It's Joan," I said as I heard her pick up.

"What do you want Joan?" she asked aggressively. This wasn't going well at all. My enthusiasm for the whole idea died in my throat. I figured that since I couldn't practice this weekend that at least we'd all be able to spend some time together. I sighed aloud.

The seconds ticked by as I contemplated just what to say. I finally figured that the best and only way was to simply come out with it. "Well, I was wondering whether you and Fred would like to attend my cousin's wedding tomorrow?"

"What, did your cousin's DJ cancel on her and she needs a replacement?" That cut to the bone. I hung up the phone before she could hear the cry that was lodged in my throat. What had I done to upset her? She'd been acting a bit aloof for some time now. I felt horrible as I stood there staring at the phone. How could she treat me this way?

Not a minute went by before the phone started ringing. I lunged for it anxiously. "Joan? Joan, I'm sorry. I hope you can forgive me?" A moment ago, I'd have forgiven her anything. Now, her simple apology set me on edge.

I fought for control and finally, I asked her: "Darla, what have I done that you'd treat me this way?" I couldn't hide the pain that I'd been feeling any longer and the tears burst forth.

The sound of her own tears echoed in my ears. "You haven't done anything Joan. Really, you haven't. Sometimes though, when I look at Fred and remember the way he held you in his arms and kissed you, it just upsets me. I hope you can understand and forgive me?" she blurted into the receiver.

I guess I'd never thought about things in that way. It kind of made sense and I felt bad about the whole thing. "Darla, I'm so sorry. Hey? We're sisters remember? No guy should ever come between us, and I promise you that none ever will!" I didn't know what else to say? I hoped it would be enough.

"So, where and when is this wedding tomorrow?" she asked seriously. I smiled into the phone and gave her the particulars. She promised me that both she and Fred would be there if she had to chain him to the roof of his own car. I laughed at that and told her I loved her. The whole mood had changed in minutes' time. We finally said our goodbyes and I felt better about everything. I was at peace with myself for the moment.

Looking at the clock on the wall, I realized I'd better go and check on Sam. I practically ran across the street and into the front door. Sam was sitting on the couch with a huge bowl of cereal on his lap laughing at the insane goings on of the cartoon characters on the television in front of him. I envied him his peaceful outlook. Hell, today was a game day and he hadn't once mentioned the ‘Waves.' I wasn't about to press my luck and bring it up myself. I was just glad that he was here and safe.

Just one more thing for me to feel guilty about, I suppose. I sighed aloud as he sat there laughing at the animation before him. "So, are you ready for the wedding rehearsal today? You can't sit there all afternoon, we have to go and pick up your tux." Was I turning into some kind of shrew? He looked at me curiously for a moment before his brain finally clicked. "Oh, right. I guess I'd better go and get cleaned up then? How are we getting to Taylor's?" Yes, a tuxedo rental place named appropriately, Taylor's. I couldn't believe that I hadn't even considered transportation.

"Is your mother home?" I hated to ask Aunt Alice for a ride, and if we had to we could do it by bicycle, but getting the tux back home would be difficult indeed.

"She should be in the kitchen," he replied. Without another word I made my way into the kitchen. Aunt Alice sat at the table staring blankly out the window into her own backyard.

"Aunt Alice, do you think you could give me and Sam a ride to pick up his tuxedo?" I asked politely.

"Excuse me?" she retorted. Her eyes danced about in anger. What was with everyone these days? Some kind of anger epidemic seemed to be in play. And then it hit me. She wasn't put off by my request, but by the fact that I'd referred to her as ‘Aunt Alice.' I'm not sure why I was having such difficulty with the term, but I'd sooner retrieve the tux on my bike before I'd call her ‘Mom.'

She stared at me challengingly. "Do you think you could give me and Sam a ride to pick up his tux?" I asked again. I prayed that she wouldn't make an issue of it. She read the look of desperation in my eyes and considered that victory enough.

"Sure I can, daughter," she said smirking. She was acquiescing and letting me know that I'd displeased her at the same time. I really hated these mind games. Still, there was enough going on already to get involved in a pissing contest with Aunt Alice.

"That would be great!" I ran back to the living room to fetch Sam. He carried his bowl into the kitchen and told me he was ready to go, while burping loudly towards the window. I didn't want to fight with him over his appearance and simply asked him if he was ready to go. Moments later we were on our way to the store.

Sam refused to try on the tuxedo insisting that his dimensions hadn't changed in the last couple of weeks. I studied his middle carefully and was about to suggest otherwise when I decided to simply leave it alone. Aunt Alice's mood had changed and she actually seemed a bit excited about the wedding. Her attitude change quickly put a smile on my face. Sam as usual, seemed oblivious to all that was going on around him.

Bobby McGee (yep, named after the character in the song), a classmate of ours was working part time at the tuxedo store. All bets were off when he asked Sam why he wasn't at the game. Sam's eyes clouded over and I broke in explaining that Sam had suffered an injury and wouldn't be able to play for the rest of the season. I needn't have wasted my efforts. Bobby's eyes glazed over as I made my explanation. He simply offered his condolences and we were on our way.

Sam's mood had shifted so rapidly that I began to worry about him. Then, I realized, that hormones probably had a lot to do with it. Still, that didn't explain the sudden shift in Aunt Alice's attitude as well, or did it? I smiled at the insanity of it all as we made our way home.



Chapter 7

In My Life

Seeing Bobby like that reminded me that the new school year was rapidly approaching. Bobby was a pop-warner football hero and bigger than Sam himself. Not really taller, just wider by half. He seemed to recognize us both and didn't go ballistic at my own appearance. I was hopeful for the new year.

The rehearsal dinner turned out to be more fun than the actual wedding. Things had turned about for Mom and Aunt Melissa. Now it was Mom comforting her sister. The closeness that they'd once shared as children had been rekindled. I was so happy for both of them. Of course, I began to wonder if I'd ever get my room back, but that would be a small price to pay. I began to make a list of arguments to present to Aunt Mel as to why she should stay. She'd become an integral part of our lives in a short period of time and we really needed her here with us.

Mom took care of Aunt Melissa as she drank herself into oblivion. She took great pains to assure my cousin that all would be well for the wedding. If Melissa had any concerns regarding her father's absence, they weren't showing. She was flying high in anticipation of the vows she would speak on the morrow.

It was fun meeting Melissa's friends from work and old college cronies. It was easy to see that she'd told them all about me and Sam. They were all accepting and seemingly happy for the love that I shared with my husband. It seemed the bridesmaid's gown that was Susan's hand-me-down was a bit large in the waist. I giggled when I tried it on. Melissa cautioned me not to say anything to her. We shared a laugh and Mom promised to make the slight alterations for me when we got home.

When we finally arrived home it was after eleven. Aunt Alice was up and waiting for us. She seemed a bit annoyed at not having been invited to the rehearsal dinner. "Joan, your friend Darla called and said that if you arrived home before midnight that you should give her a call."

What could Darla want that would require a call this late in the evening? I put all thoughts of worry aside and ran for the phone. "Darla, it's Joan, what's up?" I said into the receiver when she answered my call.

"Joan, you have to be over at my house at nine o'clock tomorrow morning," she said in a commanding tone. I thought about telling her that it would be impossible, that the wedding was at two and I needed time to make myself beautiful. In the end I simply told her I'd be there and hung up the phone. Perhaps I should have sought an explanation, I thought to myself as I headed up to bed.

I was up at seven and busily at work by seven thirty. A load of laundry and a quick going over in the kitchen. It seemed both Sam and Aunt Alice were following my lead in keeping the kitchen clean. My mind began spinning as I grabbed my bike out of the garage and made my way to Darla's.

What could she possibly want at nine o'clock on a Sunday morning? Fred greeted me with a smile at the front door and ushered me down into the basement. Darla sat behind her drum kit and thanked me for being prompt. "What's going on?" I just had to ask.

"Well kiddo, we haven't practiced in a few weeks and I thought we'd take an hour or so to do a bit now," Fred said with a huge smile on his face. I hadn't brought any equipment with me, but Fred has us covered in that department. He put the CD on the stereo and we listened to it once. I was intimately familiar with the tune and told him so. An hour later we had it nailed. I wanted to keep going, but Darla urged me on my way. I smiled at her and hugged them both as I made my exit.

Back home Sam was all excited about the wedding. He was reading the paper as I came in with the sports pages open on the kitchen table. It seems the Waves had managed to eek out another victory. There was a brief mention of Sam's absence. The official story had it that Sam was done for the season due to an ankle injury. The look on his face told me he didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I felt like it was all my fault. I hugged him close and told him I was sorry one more time. He reassured me that I had nothing be sorry about and insisted that he wasn't. The manner in which he delivered the words had me believing him.

We spent half an hour playing in the shower together. We were acting like a couple of kids. I smiled as I realized that's just what we were. I swatted his behind with a towel when we'd finished and he quickly grabbed it away from me and returned the favor. If we hadn't been pressed for time, I know just how we'd have spent the rest of the afternoon. I told Sam I'd be back in a little bit and went home to see if Mom had made the alterations on my gown.

"Well, the princess has finally arrived for her fitting," Aunt Mel greeted me as I walked through the door. I was a bit taken aback by her comment. There was no joy in her eyes. Perhaps familiarity did breed contempt?

"Is something wrong?" I asked not really caring one way or the other. I was getting tired of absorbing the emotions of those around me. Aunt Melissa ushered me into the sewing room where my gown was hanging in the closet. Unlike most bridesmaid's gowns this one was beautiful. Clearly meant specifically for the occasion, but definitely worth the cost. I tried it on and it hung just perfectly. The low cut square neck showed just a hint of cleavage. I smiled at my reflection as I realized for the first time that my breasts were finally beginning to emerge. With the addition of my beast forms, it would look absolutely perfect.

Aunt Melissa couldn't help it. She smiled at me as I turned this way and that in front of the mirror. I was at a loss though as to what to do about shoes. All I had were my black pumps and my white ones. While black does go with everything, it doesn't when the other bridesmaids would be wearing matching shoes. Just as this realization sunk in, Mom came bursting through the door. She plunked down the shoe box on the sewing table and muttered, "I hope these fit."

I laughed aloud and jumped with joy as I removed the lavender shoes from the box. They did indeed fit perfectly and I smiled and hugged both Mom and Aunt Mel in turn. I felt so pretty as I stood there smiling at my reflection. Aunt Melissa insisted on doing my makeup. She told me she didn't want me upstaging the bride and threatened to give me a bit of a clown face. I smiled wider than any clown ever had at hearing her words and let her go about her work.

She finished my face, made a mad dash to get herself ready and was out the door in half an hour's time. Perhaps Aunt Melissa's need for her baby sister had been just what Mom needed. I had no worries about her getting inebriated that afternoon. I helped Mom get ready and didn't ask her if she minded if I wore my diamond studs. I knew what her reply would be. Still, I decided that it was the right time and the perfect occasion to wear them.

We headed over to Sam's just after one. The Peters were ready as well. Fifteen minutes later we arrived at the church. Sam was led away to take care of his usher's chores and I went to congregate with the other bridesmaids. Aunt Melissa needn't have worried about me looking prettier than the bride. That simply wasn't possible. Fred had designated himself the unofficial photographer. I smiled happily as I watched him taking pictures of the proceedings.

I was somewhat saddened as I compared Melissa's wedding to my own. Still, all in all ours had been a perfect affair. Besides, I wouldn't trade Sam for anyone else in the universe. It was the people that made the occasion, not the surroundings. I found myself rethinking those thoughts as we arrived at Bostwick Manor. I'd never seen anything so magnificent in my life. I had no idea that such places even existed. Simply put, it was a Palace. The band was playing as we made our entrance. Crystal chandeliers hung everywhere. The enormity of the place and the staff in attendance was beyond imagination. I couldn't begin to imagine the cost of such extravagance.

Sam and I made our way to the wedding party's table. For a moment, I felt as though I didn't belong there. As we made our way to the table of honor, I spotted Dad and Doreen. Given her appearance, I was surprised they'd made the trip. I'd not really heard from either of them since our wedding several weeks ago. I wasn't sure how to proceed. I was almost grateful that Uncle Harry hadn't arrived. At least Mom and Aunt Melissa could be there for each other. They spoke a language of their own. It was almost as if they were twins themselves.

Darla appeared with Fred everywhere as he busied himself taking pictures of the event. With his camera hanging in front of him, a beer in his right hand and Darla in his left, he made the rounds. He had a self- assurance about him that was unlike any I'd ever known before. He smiled at me and asked me if I remembered the song we'd rehearsed that morning. Like I was going to forget it?

The wedding band was first rate. I'd guess that the band alone cost more than my entire wedding. Sam took it all in stride. He refused to be impressed by anything. I'm sure he'd have been a lot more excited if Derek Jeter and Mariano Rivera were in attendance. In a way I was glad of his lack of appreciation. It helped keep me grounded.

As the band played and everyone milled about I beckoned Sam to come with me. I didn't want to do this alone. Dad remained seated with Doreen who appeared unable to move about. I let go of Sam's hand and gave them both hugs. Part of me felt like a traitor for welcoming them. I suppose the invitation had been extended thinking that they wouldn't have the guts to actually show up. Still, I envied Doreen the radiant glow of an expectant mother. I smiled briefly as I thought of my sister.

"Well Doreen, how's it going?" I asked in as serious a voice as I could muster.

"Everything's going according to plan Joan, and you?" It seemed we were destined for small talk this afternoon. That was fine by me. It just didn't feel right getting too close to them at the moment. Dad shook his head sadly as Sam told him of his inability to finish out the season with the Waves. We made our apologies and went to join the rest of the wedding party who began gathering at the table. I felt a huge sense of relief as we arrived back at our seats. I still hadn't determined the reason for Dad's change in attitude.

Toasts were made, dinner was served, and dancing ensued. But for the awkwardness of having my parents there, I was having a wonderful time. "So, are you ready to play, Joan?" Fred asked me. Ready to play? What the hell was he talking about? It seems Fred was friends with Mike Watkins, the drummer of the band, and he'd received permission for us to go up and play a song.

I shook my head violently from side to side as Fred grabbed my hand and pulled me up on the stage. Darla eagerly took her place behind the drums and Fred made the introductions. I was half-numb as I donned the Fender Jazz Bass handed to me. Darla counted us off and soon we were singing "In My Life" (The Beatles) as the wedding couple danced alone in the middle of the room. Fred's voice and my own merged magically. I wasn't used to taking a back seat when singing, but I doubted I could have sang lead on that song nearly as well as Fred.

Enthusiastic clapping ensued when we finished with urges for more from the audience. We politely declined and made our way down from the stage. I felt a rush standing up there on the stage with a bass guitar in hand. The only possible comparison would be --- really great sex. Fred noticed the look of awe on my face, hugged me gently and kissed me on the side of the head. Neither Darla nor Sam became jealous by his actions.

"So, do you want to play in that battle of the bands, or not?" he asked me as we made our way back to our tables.

"What do you think?" I replied as I jumped up and down gleefully. Darla and I shared a special hug before separating. Sam took my hand, spun me towards him and kissed me gently on the lips.

"You were wonderful sweetheart," he said graciously. With my heels on, we stood eye to eye.

"Sam, you are wonderful," I whispered softly into his ear.

Mom and Aunt Melissa kept each other in check. I could tell that Aunt Alice felt a bit out of place. As if she'd come here to support Mom and Mom gave all her attention to Aunt Mel. Surely she could understand the special needs of my Aunt that day? Grown ups, I thought and shrugged it all off.

I congratulated myself as we made our way home. I'd not had a cigarette nor a drop of alcohol the entire time. Actually, I missed neither of those particular taboos. The ladies all gathered at the kitchen table on arriving home and began chattering endlessly with cups of coffee firmly entrenched in their hands.

As much as I loved the dress, I was happy to take it off and put it in the closet. It was ten o'clock on a Sunday night and all I wanted was some alone time with Sam. I put on my jeans and my wedgies and ran across the street to see what he was up to. Sam was already perched in front of the TV with a bag of doritos in one hand and a bottle of coke in the other.

"Want to go for a walk?" I asked him. He didn't even think about it. He jumped up from the couch, put the chips away and we made our way out the door. I thought for a moment that perhaps we should inform the Moms, but in the end I decided that we were simply entitled to some time alone.

There was only one place to go at this time of night where anything would be happening. He smiled at me wordlessly and led me towards the boardwalk. The smell of cotton candy in the air leant a certain crescendo to the day's events. He held me close as we made our way among the throngs of vacationers. Soon we were in the arcade and I was exchanging a dollar for some dimes. Although it was one of the busiest times of year, the dime games were once again unpopular. In fact, half a dozen of the machines had been converted to the quarter variety. I guessed that before long the ten cent games would go the way of the dinosaur.

I didn't kow-tow to Sam as we began playing. We were tied at two games apiece as we began playing our fifth and final game. I just knew I could win that series. Knowing all that Sam had been through, I eased up in that final game. No, I didn't throw the game exactly. I just didn't try as hard as I might have under different circumstances. Sam never doubted for a minute that he'd won of his own accord. I smiled up at him and hugged him tightly.

I stopped and purchased some cotton candy whose essence had captured my spirit earlier. Yes, I was aware that it was nothing more than spun sugar, but it tasted heavenly. Sam and I sat on a bench surveying our surroundings as we fed each other bits of the confection. Part of me still worried that Billy would rear his ugly head. I wasn't worried for myself, but for Sam. I still wasn't sure if I'd meant the threat I'd issued to Billy not long ago, but I hoped he wouldn't call me on it.

We finished up our treat and continued walking. He looked at me cross- eyed as I purchased tickets for the carousel. He helped me up on my brown pony and took his rightful place on the white charger. We held hands and hummed along with the organ music that purred in the background as the ride began to spin.

"Are you tired yet sweetheart?" I asked knowing what a long day it had been.

"I'm not too tired to eat," he replied and laughed. We stopped off at Fratelli's and bought a slice each. We ate our pizza and stared longingly into each other's eyes. I sometimes found it hard to believe that we really belonged to one another. I was reminded of that old saying: if something seems too good to be true, it probably is. Fortunately, our own relationship seemed to lie somewhere outside the field of probability.

I hugged him tight as we finished our food and made the short walk home. Home…I finally realized that home was wherever Sam was. I felt very comfortable with that realization. I stopped him several times along the short walk home just for a hug.

Monday morning. Only two weeks of summer vacation left. I'd yet to line up any jobs for the week. I was feeling lazy, but knew I had to sock away as much as I could while I could. I did a bit of vacuuming, made Sam's breakfast, cleaned up the kitchen and made my exit. I was more than a bit surprised to find Mom and Aunt Mel sitting at the kitchen table when I walked in.

"Don't worry Joan, it's an official day off. I requested it months ago," Mom said and smiled up at me. I grabbed a cup of coffee and joined them. The smoke was enticing and I gave in to the urge. I had one burning question within me. ---What happens now?. I had no idea how to broach the subject. Auntie M and Mom seemed to be having a grand old time, but I could sense a certain sadness between them. I wanted to know, but I was afraid to ask Aunt Melissa when she was going home. I was afraid she might tell me.

"So, what's on the agenda for today?" I offered as a hopeful alternative.

"Joan, Mr. Hospin called. He wants you to stop in to see him this afternoon," this from Mom. I sat there thinking that a call from Mr. Hospin could only be bad news. Although I didn't work for him specifically, I wasn't sure how much work I could generate on my own without his help. Mom noticed the look of worry on my face and told me not to worry. My own look in return suggested inquisitiveness. She laughed and told me that he sounded happy when he called.

If that was the case, why then didn't he simply request that I phone him? The worry within me continued to grow. I reasoned that the only way to find out would be to get my feet in gear and make my way down to the store. Both Mom and Aunt Melissa shared a secret smile as I said my goodbyes. Obviously something was going on. Minutes later I stood outside the front door, almost afraid to walk inside.

Finally, curiosity got the best of me and in I went. Mr. Hospin greeted me with a huge smile upon his face. My worries evaporated quickly. "Mr. Hospin, it's good to see you. My mother told me that you wanted me to come down?" He eyed me carefully as if trying to decide just what and how much to tell me. I had no idea what was going on.

"Joan, you enjoy what you're doing, yes?" he asked rhetorically. The knot that had loosened in my stomach just moments ago began tightening up again. "I've got something of a project for you, if you're interested," he continued. Of course I was interested, but I found myself wondering why all the cloak and dagger stuff in his attitude. My eyes lit up letting him know that I wanted to hear more about this particular challenge.

"Joan, are you familiar with the old Ryan Inn?" he asked me. Familiar with it, hell, I'd walked past the place at least a thousand times. When I was really little it had been quite attractive but in recent years it had fallen into disrepair and the guests it attracted seemed to resemble its exterior.

"I know the building well," I replied cautiously. I stood my ground and waited for him to continue.

"Well, the building has been sold and the new owners asked me if I could recommend someone to do the painting. It seems they plan on restoring it to its former glory. Now, there are plenty of professional contractors who'd give their eye teeth for this job, but the new owners are friends of mine and I wanted to offer the work first to someone who did quality work at a reasonable price. Do you think you can handle it?" As he finished speaking he held out a key to me. I'd never been inside the building before.

My first instinct was to tell him that there wasn't any job I couldn't handle. He stood there with his hand extended and waited for me to reply. A smile danced about his eyes. Clearly something was going on here. "Mr. Hospin, would you mind if I surveyed the premises before giving you a final answer?" I asked reaching out to take the key from his palm. He smiled at me in return and told me he expected nothing less. He went on to say that this job would be very different. No color selections had been made or quantities of paint purchased. The winner of the contract would be making all of those decisions herself.

Panic once again came at me out of nowhere. Did the new owners have any idea that the person making these very important decisions was a fourteen year old suffering from severe gender confusion? I had to laugh at myself. Clearly I was making more out of this than was warranted. Mr. Hospin eyed me curiously as I struggled to stop laughing. I told him that I'd be back by five o'clock with my suggestions and my bid. That put the smile back on his face. I headed back home with my feet floating several feet above the ground.

"Did everything go alright at Hospin's?" Mom asked me as I walked through the door. I plopped myself down on a kitchen chair and stared at the two of them blankly. Mom and Aunt Melissa eyed me expectantly.

"Well, he has this incredible job offer for me. I have no idea what it entails exactly," I said holding out the key in my hand. My mind ran off in various directions as I stared down at the key. "Do you remember the old Ryan Inn?" I asked gently. Mom smiled at me and informed me that she and Dad had stayed there when they first came to Ocean years ago. I went on to tell them as much as I knew about the potential job. Mom suggested that I eat something, gather up Sam and we'd all go and take a look at the building in a little while.

I got up numbly and made my way across the street. Sam was immersed in his reading when I walked in. "Are you going to make me some lunch, or are you going to let us starve?" he asked playfully and patted his belly. I kissed him gently on the cheek and went off to the kitchen without a word. There were only two weeks left of summer vacation. In my mind's eye, the Ryan Inn grew until it became the size of the White House. I turned my concentration to making Sam's lunch. Preparations finished, I called Sam in.

He made no complaint and quickly joined me in the kitchen. "What's wrong Joan?" he asked as I sat across from him eating silently.

"Finish your food sweetheart, we're going on a little trip after lunch." I didn't know what else to say. I cleared away the plates and ran to grab a pen and notebook. Sam didn't press me for details. He simply did as I'd requested. Soon, Mom and Aunt Melissa were sitting in the driveway with Mom nervously tapping her hand on the horn. Sam and I quickly made our way out to the car..